Cinderella - 2006 * * *

It will mess with your head.

This is a strange film (obviously all tartan asia is strange!) and it kept my interest throughout. I didn't fully understand what was going on until about half way through but then everything seemed to snap into place. I ended up thinking the twist to the story was pretty amazing although the actors were rather annoying. Compared to my last helping of Asian Horror ( Ab-Normal Beauty) this was far superior.

Ab-Normal Beauty - 2004 * *

Drop Dead Beautiful.

Looked a great concept for a film. It wasn't. I didn't understand half the movie and I know I'll get slated for saying that I didn't like it because I didn't understand it but really when you feel like a movie is a blur what's to like?? So many scenes were just a mish-mash of ideas thrown together that it became unappealing almost immediatly and I don't mind saying I was watching the clock the whole time. The main character has an unhealthy obsession with photographing dead animals and people ( she photographs a girl who throws herself off the top of a building for goodness sake!) and through her photographs she starts to think she is going slightly mad. Add a sexual abuse storyline from ages ago into the mix and you have one mediocre excuse for a horror film.

I for one love murder mysteries such as Agatha Christie where the viewers (or readers) will find the culprit simply by eliminating unlikely suspects, so that at the end all the clues point to one person. You will not find that here, and I swear at the end of the film you will be so disappointed. One reviewer stated that 'the film makers are not obligated to present us at the beginning of the film with the main culprit or perpetrator to allow us an easy ride but actually it is usually desirable to save our sanity otherwise we have nothing to work with and no clues to follow when watching the film! Poorly made.

B.T.K - 2007 * *

Bind. Torture. Kill.

I've actually never heard of this serial killer which is strange because I'm pretty clued up famous murders in England and America.

Dennis Rader plays a middle-aged married man with devoted children who murders and tortures women in the evening. Kane Hodder is suitably eerie in the role and the acting is not bad, but the story hangs a bit thin and it didn't grip me.

Doghouse - 2009 * * *

On the p***, on the pull, on the menu.

Ok, I'm not about to say by any means that Danny Dyer is a brilliant or particularly talented actor, but if you want a film with some ready laughs and a bit of a stupid storyline involving zombie women then you should see this. All the blokes acting together are pretty funny and the idea that they are all on a long weekend to forget about divorces and nagging spouses is humorously ironic. A good Saturday night movie.

The Hills Run Red - 2009 * * *

Trespassers will be slaughtered.

This film reminded me quite a bit of the black horror comedy 'Hack' where a film is made about the legend of a film. I prefered Hack to this.

The film revolves around a guy named Tyler who is obsessed by the legend of 'The Hills Run Red' a movie that was supposedly banned a long time again because of the graphic and violent content. Conveniently he meets a stripper called Alexa who is the daughter of the mysterious movie director of the film and they set out into the woods along with Tyler's 2 friends to uncover the truth about the film. What follows is a serious of gruesome and typical scenes that you would find in most horror movies. Not worth a second watch, or really even a first.

The Good Die Young - 1954 * * * *

A full star robbery.

What a wonderful feeling it is to be presented with a movie that you normally wouldn't look twice at and in fact it ends up being a nail-biting ride with some brilliant acting. The story is simple - four men meet in a pub all are having problems at home, one man does not have enough money to take his wife away to New York to get her away from her controlling mother. Another is a gambler with a problem who has constantly relied on his wife for money until she refuses to help him settle a debt; all are in desperate need of money and all will do nearly anything to get it, the thing is can they trust their fellow men? This exciting film noir portrays some brilliant performances, especially from Stanley Baxter, Gloria Grahame and Joan Collins. Amazng.

Triangle - 2009 * *

Fear Comes in Waves.

This movie was talked about a lot last year. I decided I had to see it so last weekend I sat down to what I thought was going to be a brilliant and creepy story. Wrong. It was creepy yes, but it barely had anything to do with the Bermuda Triangle except for a bit at the beginning where a group of friends sail right into the centre by accident and are caught in a dreadful storm. One of the friends, Jess begins to act very strangely and the story progresses from there. In fact it progresses so fast that I barely took everything in. You really do have to have your wits about you because it's a case of blinking and missing parts that are important. The acting is nothing special, the story is muddled and to be honest I don't agree with all the raving reviews saying that you need to watch the movie lots of times to discover new depths. For me it's a one off and with such a pathetic ending that's how it will stay.

Battle Royale - 2001 * * * * 1/2

Could you kill your best friend?

This film really is one of the weirdest, eeriest and surrealist things I've ever seen. The premise follows a class of Japanes schoolchildren who are chosen at random to take part in the government's new scheme for dealing with delinquent school kids - The Battle Royale Scheme.

What happens is very simple, the children are stranded on a remote desert island with only a small amount of food and water and one weapon each. Oh and just one more thing - they have three days to fight to death and kill each other, because there can only be one winner, and that is the person who survives. Which brings them to the gastly question - 'Could you kill your best friend to survive?' You'd be surprised. And there is no way out of this game, because if there is more than one survivor left after the three days then the electronic necklaces that each school child is wearing will automatically explode.

This film is shocking and brutal but I also love the idea, which is creepily interspersed with classical music throughout, and the lengths that some of the children will go to to stay together, or stay alive.

An ingenius and brilliantly acted film, showing exactly how far some film makers will go to show what is wrong with our society.

Silver City - 2004 * *

Vote Early, Vote Often.

I watched this because I thought I should and because it had been clogging up the DVD shelf for months on end. Too long and drawn out for my liking with too many characters who didn't have worthwhile parts, I thought the only saving grace was Maria Bello, who only appears for a short time compared to the other actors. Politically focused and based, this is a satire on the political world which I think would only mean something to people if they were incredibly clued up on politics which I regretfully am not.

A miss.

Deadline - 2009 * * * *

Focus Your Fear.

Disregarding the eerie poster showing a lifeless Brittany Murphy drowning in her bath (an image that would be played out tragically three weeks later when Brittany sadly died in her bathroom) we should really focus on how clever this film is. And any movie that makes me think back to it over and over again after I've seen it is worth another watch.

Murphy plays Alice, a young and depressed film-maker, who on the suggestion of her best friend Rebecca goes to spend a week in an old Victorian mansion where she hopes she can work on her current film project without disturbance. However after less than an hour she starts to experience things that are more terrifying and heart-breaking than she can imagine.

This movie has been slated by film-reviewers because of Brittany's tragic state whilst filming and although I agree that it's very sad to see her literally wasting away in front of our eyes I don't think that should detract from her amazing performance.

The Brothers Grimm - 2005 * * * 1/2

If you go down to the woods today, you'll never believe your eyes.

I've waited so long to watch this and really thought it was a worthwhile movie. Damon and Ledger play two brothers who travel from place to place performing fake exorcisms for large amounts of money. What they aren't counting on however is to be thrown head first into a real life supernatural panic as they must fight good over evil to break the curse of the Mirror Queen (who is a mixture of Rapunzel for her hair and Sleeping Beauty for living in a perilous tower) and save the inhabitants of a village in Germany. On their way they are to encounter such creatures as the GingerBread Man, Hans and Greta (Hansel and Gretel) and the Big Bad Wolf before their task is complete.

By the first scene you can be sure that Terry Gilliam is the owner of this magical and amazing ride into the supernatural ( no one else could do it better) and he pulls it off stupendously. What I love about his films is that he can throw in so many subtle nods to other movies of the same genre without you really noticing, and it is only at the end that you realise how much of a genius he actually is.

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever - 2009 * *

This time it's spreading.

Having not been the biggest fan of the earlier movie Cabin Fever I wasn't holding out much for this to be much of an experience.
The film does manage to incorporate all the typical American Pie-esque movies in one go with a bit of horror mixed in for good measure. A lot of the movie consists of a bloke chasing after a girl, and another bloke chasing after another girl and various sexual innuendos that only seem right in a film like this.
Towards the end the movie becomes more horror-stricken and there are some really disturbing scenes (I'm talking about the one in the swimming pool, really too disgusting for words) which the film directors must think round the movie off nicely as well as a full blown school prom happening at the same time which is quite amusing. So really this is a teen movie. American Pie, Porky's and many others spring to my mind when trying to compare this to anything. Not worth a watch, but then again neither is the first one.

Keith - 2008 * * * *

Love's a force you can't control.

I'd only stumbled by mistake over this film and didn't know what to expect. All I can say was it was an amazing heart-breaking experience that was very close to 'A Walk to Remember' (except that was really bad and awfully acted) which made me nearly cry. The two main characters have this amazing connection which seems far too mature for them but also seems very real. The main lead Natalie thinks her life is pretty plain and sorted until she meets Keith, a guy who gives her whole world a new meaning, what she doesn't know is that he is hiding a secret which means he has nothing to loose.

Amazing.

Obsessed - 2009 * * * * *

All's fair when love is war.

First off I really wasn't sure that Beyonce would be able to act in a movie like this. In one word she was 'outstanding.' I thought this movie was brilliant, with excellently draw characters and a fantastic storyline. The plot centres around Derek, a successful accounts manager in the city who becomes entangled with an alluring temp named Lisa who will not take no for an answer when she starts stalking him and he rejects her advances. Beyonce plays his devoted and loving wife Sharon who starts to have doubts about her husband's fidelity after finding out that he has a close relationship with his assistant. All three characters play their parts superbly and I was gripped for the whole movie. This movie could be compared to Fatal Attraction with certain differences such as the fact that Derek never actually leads Lisa on and is happily married while in Fatal Attraction the main character actually has an affair with no guilt attached. Worth at least 2 watches!

Miss Pettigrew Lives for a day - 2008 * * * *

I've been looking for you all night, and I believe all of my life.

Having not read Winifrid Watson's book that made this the smash hit that it now is, I'm so glad I've seen the film, as it really encapsulates early 20th century London and makes me dream of what it must have been like. After getting unfairly fired from her job and made homeless all in one day, Miss Pettigrew finds (by mistake) herself in the house of a beautiful American singer/actress named Delysia who mistakes her for the new housekeeper/social secretary and gives her the most amazing day of her life. This is a heart-warming film with plenty of flashes of 1930s glamour thrown in, and Amy Adams is brilliant and as quirky a thing as you ever did see in her role as Delysia whose past is not exactly what it seems. . .
A lovely rainy day movie.

Baise Moi - 2000 * * * *

When you have nothing you have nothing to loose.

I can see all the controversial material in this would upset a lot of people, and I did find myself looknig away in parts, but I also found myself totally enthralled by this amazing and brutally violent movie about two women who meet at the lowest point in their lives and find solace by going on a killing spree, murdering people for money and having sex along the way whenever they want. The two main actresses are real live adult movie stars and some of the scenes seem quite natural to them. I hated Thelma and Louise which is the dreadful American watered down version of this featuring two pathetic women who don't seem to fit in with the whole 'rampage' lifestyle whereas these two women are mean, hard and brilliant in their roles. I loved their attitude and though I didn't agree with the high level of sex that was shown I did really like the film and respect the director's choice to make the film.

Pygmalion - 1938 * * *

Walk? Not bloody likely, I'll be taking a taxi!

There are many similarities to Pygamlion and My Fair Lady, and to be honest I prefered the latter. Leslie Howard is really good as Henry Higgins but he doesn't have the same mischievous glint and humour as Rex Harrison did. I realise this is the earlier version and it's very unlike me to prefer a later version of any film, but I really can't see myself watching this again whereas I constantly refer back to My Fair Lady for the beauty of its casting and glorious music. This is one time where I think maybe a film would have been better with a few songs in it and a different leading lady would have sufficed. Audrey Hepburn is in my opinion the perfect Eliza Dolittle and no one else really comes close. Although she is an American actress I much prefer her voice trying to be an English cockney than Wendy Hiller, who seems rather uncomfortable and strained both in her rendition of a common wench and as a sophisticated lady. Also in this, Higgins is actually a very unpleasant person and not in the least bit kind or decent towards Eliza.
I wasn't bowled over by this film, although I think it's a masterpiece on George Bernard Shaw's part.

Monsters VS Aliens - 2009 * * *

Alien Problem? Monster Solution.

I was eager to see this to compare it with other Dreamworks films including Bolt and Monsters Inc, but have to say it wasn't as great as I had imagined it would be.There are always funny moments in Pixar but normally what makes me love the movies so much is that the characters are likable and the type that you want to go on a journey with. For starters I didn't like the main character Susan who was whiny and wingey throughout, and her obnoxious boyfriend Derek? Well don't get me started on his rudeness! I liked the 3 monsters that Susan spends most of the movie with especially Hugh Laurie's mad scientist cockroach (in fact I think he pretty much made the movie for me) but unfortunately I wasn't gripped enough or excited enough by the story to pay too much attention. A mighty shame considering Monsters Inc was a masterpiece.

Jaws: The Revenge - 1987 * * *

This time it's personal.

There are many reveiwers who think this is better than the original Jaws, and I have to say that I wasn't expecting it to be quite as good considering it was the 4th sequel to be churned out of the 'killer shark' franchise. I was happy that 2 of the original characters were in this one as neither had been in the 3rd movie, and Michael Caine provided some welcome relief as Ellen Brody's new love interest. This shark was certainly a whole lot meaner and some of the scenes are pretty scary, making you wince but still want to watch through your clasped hands. Ellen's son Sean is killed quite close to the beginning by the great white and that sends her almost over the edge with terror that such a hideous beast could still be prowling the nearby waters. I don't really understand why this movie wasn't brought out as Jaws 3 and Jaws 3 as Jaws: The Revenge, because it would have made more sense to follow the characters through to the end instead of totally disregarding them in the 3rd movie and then suddenly bringing them back for the 4th. Still there was enough gore and horror in this to keep me occupied so all in all I'd say not a bad attempt.

Jaws 3 - 1983 * *

A deadly new attraction.

I hate to go along with the stereotypical opinion that sequels get worse and worse the more that are made but it can't be truer than here! The first Jaws was pretty darn good, the second was not bad at all and this one, the third helping of angry shark on a rampage was pretty dire!

Added to which it's a different shark! The basis around this movie is that a mother goes on a killing spree after her baby is taken to the Sea World attraction to be put on display soon after being found out at sea. I suppose the idea sound pretty good and there are some eerie moments including one where all the visitors to the park are trapped in the 'Undersea Kingdom' with an maniac of a shark chasing them!

Hearing what I have just written it does actually sound like a good movie, just poorly executed but I still don't rate it nearly as much as the 2nd or the 1st.

Exte: Hair Extensions - 2007 * * *

What lovely hair you have...

This was a bizarre film. It wasn't so much scary as totally disturbing and seriously puts you off having any extensions of any kind put into your hair. The idea for the movie is that someone who is murdered has her hair cursed and then (unknowingly) it is used to make hair extensions for a busy and popular hair salon. Every girl who uses the hair extensions then becomes cursed herself etc etc, a typical Japanese sounding story really. Certain scenes do make your stomach churn though (such as a dead body growing her hair at a freakishly fast rate out of cuts on her arm and even out of her eye sockets) but most of the film is pretty similar to other Japanese horrors except for the idiotic beginning where the characters dictate and narrate to us as they are going about their daily duties, it is infuriating.

The Invisible Man - 1933 * * * *

Catch him if you can.

For a film that's over 70 years old this movie really does have some amazing special effects. The bizarre aspect of the film is that we don't actualy get to see the real invisible man until the very last scene and that's pretty frustrating when you've become so wrapped up in his life. Claude Rains is excellent as the man who, after experimenting on himself becomes totally invisible, but also deranged and dangerous. He finds himself in an inn where he attempts to find the cure to what has happened, the only trouble is the owners just won't leave him alone...

Amazing to watch (including the scenes where Rains unbandages himself, and where he causes havoc in the small village by knocking out anyone who gets in his way) and also very funny, the Invisible Man is a great movie because although we know it is only make believe, there is a horrible feeling in the bottom of our stomachs that it could happen, and what on earth would we do if it did?

Grab this movie, plus some popcorn and a rainy afternoon and you have yourself a real treat which proves that you don't have to watch a modern day film to have an amazing experience (but then I knew that already;) )

The Warrior - 2001 - * * *

Honour is worth more than pride.

This film certainly packed a punch and there are plenty of gruesome mutilated heads and bodies being flung around. All these warriors protecting one princess who didn't even seem to be able to defend herself was a bit of a joke. The story appeared to be about the warriors and one very important warrior who can kill loads of the oppostition just by a flick of his wrist. Not a bad story but a bit jumbled in my opinion.

The Stranger - 1946 * * * 1/2

The most deceitful man a woman ever loved!

This film has sat on my shelf for years but it was only yesterday that I decided to watch it. Compelling and gripping throughout, Orson Welles plays the husband-to-be of Loretta Young, who's very presence is a problem for Edward G. Robinson who arives at the town of Harper to investigate the disappearance of a notorious war criminal. Orson Welles is charming on the outside to all who know him, but Robinson isn't fooled and begins to follow his trail which ends with a terrifying climax.

The Phantom of the Opera - 1943 * * *

He creates the music of the night!

I've only seen Claude Rains in a few other movies but I think this was one of his best performances. His portrayal as the dedicated violinist who is disfigured horribly after wrongly believing he has been robbed off a concerto he was working on for over 2 years. The scene where he tries to find his manuscript after leaving it to be looked over at a publishing house is heart-breaking and brought tears to my eyes. He may not be the most charismatic portrayal of the 'Phantom' but he was one of the sweetest. Susanna Foster was very annoying as Christine though but her two suitors were hilarious.

Also noted that it won 2 Oscars.

Possessed - 1947 * * * *

If she couldn't have him then no one could!

Joan Crawford sizzled in this late 40s noir about a woman obsessed with a stubborn and egotistical man who didn't return her affections. From what I'm aware I don't think this was a particularly well-known movie but it really should have been. This and Joan Crawford's masterpiece 'Mildred Pierce' are I think two fo her finest works. Bette Davis was reportedly offered this role but turned it down to go on maternity leave and I'm glad she did, because Crawford was perfect. Raymond Massey was also very sympathetic as Crawford's boss who later becomes her husband. A very atmospheric attempt at classic noir.

Crime Spree - 2003 * * * *

Simple Job, Simple Minds.

I had no idea this was going to be such an amusing film when I sat down to watch it. To be honest I wasn't really expecting anything much despite it having Harvey Keitel and Gerard Depardieu as it's cast leads. The story follows a group of clumsy French crooks who accidently burgle a gang boss (Harvey Keitel) and then go on the run with a series of hilarious scenarios. Renaud and Johnny Hallyday are famous rock stars in France and some of their scenes they do together (including having an argument over the radio that is conveniently playing both their tracks on different stations) are extremely funny to watch. The whole entourage work well together and I am really pleased I watched it. A pleasant hour and a half.

A Kiss Before Dying - 1955 * * * *

He had looks, charm and killer instinct.

Boy of boy was I happy at the end of this movie. I'd bought this film and saved it for months and months before choosing today, a horrible dark and rainy day to watch it.
I've never seen Robert Wagner before in a film and really found that he shone in his role as the psychotic and sociopathic Bud who will do anything for money, even if it means killing.
His girlfriend Dorothy accidently becomes pregnant much to Bud's horror, and so, while she is imagining getting married to Bud, he is plotting something quite horrific.
I had originally thought this movie was going to be filmed in black&white but was equally happy when it turned out to be colour for it really gave you a glimpse into 1950's American life, especially at the university that Bud and Dorothy attend.
I personally loved the film and found the acting to be really good considering it's a movie that I've never heard of before. I love these surprise gems!

Dr Strangelove or How I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb - 1964 * *

Shoot First, Ask Questions later.

I really don't see what the big deal is about this movie. It's barely funny, it doesn't really pass for satirical and the characters (with the exception to Peter Sellars playing 3 people) are nothing special. Stanley Kubrick seems to favour weird and surreal characters and storylines (see his later movie of 'Clockwork Orange') and sometimes I understand them and other times I don't. This was one of the times I didn't get it. I found it boring, utterly trying and painfully long to sit through - that is not what I call a 'masterpiece of satirical back comedy.'

Alone With Her - 2006 * * *

Anytime, Anywhere, He's watching.

I kept seeing this movie in my local DVD shop but never decided to buy it until recently. The synopsis of the story seemed pretty good so I gave it a shot. Some people may be put off by the fact that most of what we are seeing is from the crackly and sometimes distorted camcorder that is picking up every movement of the unsuspecting girl in her house.

This is a scary film, not for gore or bloodshed, but for the lengths someone will go to for their obsession with someone else.

Colin Hanks plays 'Doug', a shy loner who becomes obsessed with a young girl he sees walking her dog in the park. His interest however is not just friendly, for after secretly installing cameras in her house in every room he soon turns nasty towards the girl and her friend in such a terrifying way that it will seriously scare the viewer.

Both leads are played convincingly and overall the film comes together very well.

Troy - 2004 * * * *

Fight for Honour, Fight for Love.

Although this film was desperately long (weighing in at over 3 hours) it really is worth the time once you get into it, however stopping half way through the movie to change DVD's for part 2 is a tad off-putting.

Brad Pitt leads a stellar and brilliant cast as Achilles - powerful, arrogant and dedicated to killing. While Brad Pitt is a pretty good actor in some things I didn't really feel like he was suited for this role. He's far too chiselled and 'American Pretty-boy-esque' to make it as a rugged and ruthless warrior. Half the time he looks like he's trying to model for a spray tan company. Added to that, he seems to have no conscience whatsover and there is no way that viewer's can really relate to him. He doesn't care about anyone enough to consider not killing them and blasts his way through battle stabbing and decapitating left right and centre. His accent was also ridiculous, nothing like a character from this film would actually sound and it put me off his character even more.

Orlando Bloom is also miscast for his role as Paris. At times he looks like a women and is so weak and gentle that he can't possibly have a chance making it as a warrior. He doesn't seem like a very independent character and this isn't much for us to work with.

Eric Bana is the strongest of the 3 main characters playing Paris's brother Hector and the only one who you could actually imagine realistically in that part. He suits the look that the director was trying to go for. He is also the most courageous, the most loyal and the most like a gentleman, for all these reasons he was my favourite character.

Other highlights included Peter O'Toole as Hector and Paris's father who gave such a heart-rendering performance that it was a shame he wasn't one of the lead characters, he acted his socks off.

Maybe the logistics of the story weren't totally accurate but you have to put that aside knowing it was exactly what the director had envisioned. I thought the graphics, the majority of the performances and the general feel of the film was sumptuous and it is well worth a watch.

Frankie and Johnny - 1991 * * * * *

You never choose love, love chooses you.

Frankie and Johnny surprised me in more ways than I expected. I had imagined this film as one that didn't really showcase either of the main stars, and that had a barely interesting story that I doubted would hold my attention. In fact I found out that Al Pacino can actually do comedy, and pretty well in my opinion, and that Michelle Pfeiffer plays nearly every role I've seen her in with an amazing and capturing quality. You really can't seem to take your eyes off her on the screen. The story itself isn't amazing - a waitress and an ex con turned cook meet while working at a Greek coffee house and, though he is very interested in her, she keeps her distance from him at all costs but he doesn't know why.

I really enjoyed the film, even more so as it isn't one that is really talked about much as regards to good films, and so I feel in a way like I've found a hidden gem, which always makes for the best type of movie.

The Squid and the Whale - 2005 * * * * *

Joint custody blows.

I'm not surprised this film has won awards, including the Sundance, for I have not seen such a realistic and gritty portrayal of a family going through divorce for a long time. What I really liked about the movie was that it wasn't forced. It didin't feel like the children were trying to act in a particular way or approach the subject in a way that they had been told to. It all seemed very natural and pretty uncomfortable in parts as well just like it would in real life. In some places it felt like we were watching a real family from a hidden camera. Understandably the two children are devestated about their parents seperating and both react in different ways, the younger becoming sexually disturbed and the older deciding to take out all the agression he has kept inside onto his young and naive girlfriend. Laura Linney is brilliant in her part of exhausted and let down wife and Jeff Daniels really shows how far his acting skills reach as the pompous, arrogant and mean-spirited husband. Before long the children are being tossed backwards and forwards as they alternate days with father and mother and it starts to become too much for everyone involved to cope with.
Amazing performances and a wonderfully realistic portrayal.

Blood: The Last Vampire - 2009 * * *

Where evil grows, she preys.

The one thing that kept me stuck on the edge of my seat with this film was not the exciting action, instead it was my amusement at thinking I may possibly be watching Archie out of 'Eastenders' playing an American in a vampire film. I still wasn't 100% sure whether I was seeing things until the end credits rolled and it was only then that I realised I wasn't going mad and that it actually was him. Onto the actual film now - I am aware that this movie was based on a short anime but you don't necessarily need to have watched that in order to see this. It was pretty violent, pretty sharp and pretty action packed, but it wasn't brilliant by any lengths and although I found the main character Saya to be perfect in the part, I thought that her friend and 'sidekick' (if you can even call her that) was gastly and a dreadful addition showing us a stereotypical teenager attitude to everything which sometimes defied the object of having Saya there and on her side. The actress who plays Saya really seemed to get her just right, as she is portrayed as young and naive with her school uniform and knee-length socks when in reality she is a cold-hearted killer. Not a bad film but once is probably too much for me.

The Stepford Wives - 1975 * * * *

Something strange is happening in the town of Stepford.

I remember watching the most recent version of this movie a while back and totally hating it. The acting was stodgy and unrealistic and the characters were gastly to the point of nausea.

This original version however based on the novel by Ira Levin was pretty darn good and really quite eerie. It centres around the character of Joanna who moves with her husband to Stepford hoping to become more involved with the community. What happens instead is that Joanna's husband suddenly starts behaving strangly and becomes a member of the hush hush men's club that all the husbands seem to be a part of. The wives all seem like robots to Joanna, only concerned with looking perfect and having the house all spotlessly clean for when their husbands come home from work and it is only when she meets another unsuspecting wife called Bobbie that the pair realise they need to find out what is happening in the town. A freakishly acted and haunting film that has stayed in my minds for days after viewing, added to which Katherine Ross is great in her role as Joanna and Paula Prentiss adds a touch of humour to her role as Bobbie.

Worth a watch but avoid the most recent version like the plague.

Young Frankenstein - 1974 * * * * *

The scariest comedy of all!

This really was a funny film. Right from the start Gene Wilder is hot to trot making the viewers guffaw with laughter as he performs his trademark bemused looks and exasperated groans. Especially his constant correction to anyone who pronounces his name as 'Frankenstein' to which he growls 'it's Fronkanshteen.' Mel Brooks as usual is on top form directing here and knows exactly which buttons to press to make his audience fall about laughing. Marty Feldman also offers even more comic relief as Wilder's smarmy but slightly simple assistant who always has a smart-alec remark to make at the worst possible time. I really love Gene Wilder and in almost everything I have seen him in he has amused me. He has a knack of knowing exactly when to look or speak and always makes everyone laugh. One of the funniest sequences of the film is 'Putting on the Ritz' - I won't say anymore except that Mel Brooks originally didn't want the scene in the film for fear it would be too random, but relented when he saw it acted, and in a film directed by Mel Brooks surely nothing is too random for us to see!

Worth one watch, 2 or maybe even three...

Cat People - 1982 * *

They are more than lovers and are about to become less that human.

Ok I'm sorry but this film was more than dull! the scenes were dragged out to about an inch of their lives and the story was ridiculous, not because of that actual plot but because of the way it was filmed. I know it's a remake of the 1942 movie of the same name and I desperately wanted to see that first but had to content myself with this one because the other is almost impossible to find. I now wish I hadn't bothered seeing this and had waited for the suspense filled original. What a waste of time.

The Haunting in Connecticut - 2009 * * *

Some things cannot be explained.

I was seriously disappointed by this film. I was expecting to be scared out of my wits but instead I was mildly amused and about as unscared as I could be. To add to this, the film is supposedly based on a true story which just seemed far from realistic. The story is based on a family who decide to look for a house in Connecticut because their son is suffering from a form of cancer that is making him to weak to commute on long journeys, and they find an amazing house for a cheap price. However it is not long before the son starts experiencing weird and terrifying things such as figures occupying his room attired in old fashioned clothes. The family soon find out that the house used to be a funeral home. Que more terrifying phenomena. I won't say that the acting wasn't very good because it was but there was just something deeply unpalatable about the story and I wasn't impressed.

Love Story - 1970 * * *

Love means never having to say your sorry.

First off, the above quote is one of the cheesiest and stupidest quotes for a love film that I've ever heard. Basically you can just do whatever you like and you don't need to apologise if your actions hurt others. Lovely motto.

This film isn't bad but it certainly wasn't as good as I imagined it was going to be. The two characters wound me up so much at the beginning with their constant insults and put-downs to each other that I struggled to find any rapport with either of them. I really wanted to love the pair of them and find a deeper, romantic meaning in the film that I have heard from countless other people but it just wasn't there for me. I did feel a tinge of sadness towards the end but nothing like the buckets of tears I've cried over films such as 'Bridges of Madison County.'

I didn't think much of the acting to be honest although I'm sure I'll get caned for saying so, as I felt like the characters were too rigid and unemotional towards each other. Not a bad film but not one I'll keep getting out for a rainy day.

Behind the Mask - The Rise of Leslie Vernon - 2007 *

We all need someone to look up to.

This quite frankly was a shambles of a movie. I immediately noticed comparisons to 'Man Bites Dog' which is a foreign film based around a camera crew following a serial killer around on his day to day murders. That was a pretty awful film and this was like a bad and totally unfunny Americanised version of it. Leslie Vernon is a pathetic and idiotic excuse for a serial killer and not in the least bit scary which kinda means your in trouble when trying to create a terrifying serial killer persona. The storyline was virtually non-existant and there were times I wondered why the film had ever been made. Added to which the acting was diabolical and I was so relieved to see the end of the film it's going straight in the bin.

The Rock - 1996 * * * 1/2

Only one man has ever broken out. Now 500 lives depend on 2 men breaking in.

I've heard great things about this movie but never actually seen it. Once I had I realised what all the fuss was about. Setting a film in Alcatraz is always a good move and so was putting Sean Connery in as the mysterious yet comical ex-convict who was the only man ever to successfully break out of the notorious prison. Together he and Nicholas Cage have to work around the clock to rescue a group of people who are on a tour of Alcatraz and who have become hostages to manic and sadistic ex war hero Ed Harris. Expect explosions, violence, shoot outs and a particularly memorable scene with a gorgeous yellow ferrari. Worth a watch with the lights out for special effect.

Public Enemies - 2009 * * * * *

America's most wanted.

I've waited eagerly to see this for nearly a year now and was lucky enough to watch it last night. Being a massive fan of all things 1930s I couldn't wait to see how Michael Mann had encapsulated the time period and the characters. From the start the film gripped me, Depp was amazing as John Dillinger who robbed banks with his gang, earning himself the title of Public Enemy no 1. Christian Bale plays Melvin Purvis, the official whose task it is to capture him. Bale is also superb. Everything about this film is glamourous, the trilbies, the tommy guns and the clothing, but we are still treated to some pretty gastly and bloody scenes of full-on shoot outs between Dillinger's gang and the police. However much I'd like to deny it, the 1930s at this time is one of the places I longed to live in, including the terror and the mayhem, I probably would have done very well as a ganster's moll. We see Dillinger in a not unsympathetic way when he falls in love but also his other side which is hardened criminal of the justice system. I liked the balance of his character, and also the contrast to Bale's character.

Although over 2 hours this movie flew by for me and I totally loved it. I loved the story, the characters and the period. One of the best films of the year (or rather last year).

The Singing Detective - 2004 * * *

Murder, seduction and betrayal. He wrote the book, now he's living it.

This was one hell of a strange movie. Robert Downey Jnr stars as a crime writer diagnosed with a rare skin disorder. As he is confined to his hospital bed he begins to imagine all sorts of scenarios involving his wife and characters from his book. This is interspersed with songs that he imagines himself singing from the 50s and 60s. By the time you get to the middle of the film you are unsure what is in his head and what is actually real. I guess that is what makes it so peculiar and also so clever. If it wasn't for Robert Downey the film may not be as well received and it does sort of muddle with your head, but in a good way, and his wit and sarcasm are still present throughout.

Southland Tales - 2006 *

Have a nice Apocalypse.

There have been people who have criticised viewers who didn't enjoy this movie as not wanting to use their brains or not 'understanding film making at it's best.' I did not enjoy this movie and to be honest it's nothing to do with using your brain or not; I wouldn't even want to use my brain over this mess of a film. If this film had been half the length then I still wouldn't have understood it anymore. Random plot put aside, the characters were even weirder - an actor turned amnesiac, a porn star/ tv presenter and a police man, and his twin brother.... Confused? Yes, you will be for the whole film. From what I could make out the film was supposed to be a rather disjointed attempt at showing us what the end of the world would be like, and how totally random it would be. The actors were all wrong for the parts and I'm not going to credit the director for coming up with an 'original' idea - even original ideas don't have to be so confusing and mixed up. By the time I was over half way of watching this it felt like a chore to have to sit through until the end and that's not how I perceive film-watching to be; it should be an enjoyable experience. Granted though I have not seen such a bizarre and surreal movie in a long time but even knowing it was this odd didn't make me like it anymore. I felt the same way I did when I'd finished 'Blue Velvet' - like I'd literally wasted 2 hours of my life on something I was trying to force myself to understand and like. I am not one normaly to give up on movies but if film continue to be churned out in this disturbing and idiotic manner then I may as well just stop after the first 10 minutes.

36 - 2004 * * * *

With friends like these...

I think I must have watched a bit of the film 'Heat' years and years ago and I remember not being very impressed. So I wasn't going out of my way to see this knowing that it was simply a french version of the same film. I think I was keen to see it more than anything because of seeing Auteuil in 'Hidden' and loving that. However I found that the acting in this movie was amazing and Daniel Auteuil is fantastic in his role. Watching this film you realise how corrupt the police can actually be especially when people who you work with and who are supposed to be there for you can end up being your worst enemies. This is the situation that Auteuil and Depardieu come to in this film. This film is also based on a true story and named 36 because the person this is dedicated to died on the 36th hour of his job. That makes it all the more poignant, and while there are some pretty gruesome scenes (including one involving a naked man which I won't go in to) I feel that unlike American films, the violence is needed here, and is not over glamourised just for the sake of an explosion. Police work is dangerous and violent and that is no lie, and so what better way to show it than in reality. I think really that although this film is based upon police going after certain people who are in gangs etc that really the premise is how two-faced the force can actually be. I was more interested in the relationship between Auteuil and Depardieu than in the men they happened to be looking for throughout the film. I recommend this film highly to anyone who wants an inside look at life and relationships in the police force, added to which you get to see some beautiful scenes of France which makes it just that bit better.

Rise: Blood Hunter - 2007 * *

Seduce. Trap. Tease.

Although this film was supposed to be scary and serious throughout I couldn't stop laughing at some of the things that happened. Lucy Liu is a pretty good actress and I was surprised to see her in something like this. I didn't know from the on-set that the film would be soft-pornesque with women sucking on other women's necks and ripping their clothes off to reveal stockings and suspenders. For this reason alone I'm sure this film will be very popular with male viewers but I didn't really understand or get the story and it was a bit of a bore to me. Lucy Liu did a great job of making me laugh though, especially when she's screaming and being hung upsidedown on a meat-hook about to be 'drunk.' I only realised near the end that she actually keeps coming back to life as a vampire, despite the fact that the 'v' word is never mentioned throughout the film. Hardly a great basis for a vampire film.

500 (Days of Summer) - 2009 * * * * 1/2

This is not a love story. This is a story about love.

I went into this film barely knowing what to expect and came out really happy that I had seen something that wasn't a 'typical' hollywood rom-com. I don't think I would even call this movie a comedy. It's very dark in places and depicts a real life relationship very well. The story is told as a serious of flashbacks and scenes where we start at the end of the 500 days and work backwards, sometimes stopping to go forwards. We meet Tom, an intelligent yet shy man who falls head over heels in love with a new member of staff named Summer at his work and proceeds to go out of his way to try to win her over. The only problem is that Summer is not interested in a serious relationship and is not prepared to change her views now, she even makes the point that she doesn't believe in love much to Tom's bewilderment, but this doesn't change his feelings for her. Through the course of the film we see the ups, the downs and the cracks that begin to appear as Summer and Tom start to realise what they both want from the relationship. And it's not the same thing.

Brilliantly acted and so refreshing to see a 'real' relationship on screen. Recommended.

Away Days - 2009 *

Run With the pack.

Yes I did see similarities to 'This is England' like it mentions on the front cover, but except for that this film was dead in the water. Seriously it was so badly done it made me laugh. Trying to rip off 'Green Street' and 'Rise of the Footsoldier' wasn't the cleverest idea, and the characters were so unlikeable and so arrogant that I started to think, 'why should anyone care if your getting beaten up or losing pints of blood in the process, this is all your choice!' Added to which the accents were so bad I couldn't understand half of what they were saying.

Pointless and boring, with violence that was just stuck in there for a laugh, I have nothing credible to say about this film.

When Harry Met Sally - 1989 * * *

Can two friends who sleep together still love each other in the morning?

People always rave about the Meg Ryan 'trilogy' of romantic comedy movies - You've got mail, Sleepless in Seattle and this one, When Harry Met Sally. I'm now 2/3s through as I only have Sleepless left to see. This film actually surprised me a bit. It wasn't brilliantly acted but it was pretty funny nevertheless and Ryan and Crystal seem to bounce off each other with regards to quick witted comedy. The now infamous 'orgasm scene' was actually really funny even though I was waiting with clenched teeth for it to appear.

I guess this is the type of film that both men and women can enjoy although the whole 'can men and women be friends' debate actaully gets a bit tiring after a while.

Worth a watch but maybe no more than one.

Dead Mary - 2007 *

They were dying to meet her.

Ok, first off, why haven't I learned my lesson now? I watch awful horror film after awful horror film and still think I'll find a good, well acted scary one. I should except that this will never be. Horror is not the same anymore, and with the exception to Asian/Japanese Tartan Asia Extreme films, the same type of movie is being churned out in America and Canada constantly. I've seen so many horror films that I did end up guessing parts of this film, that was when I wasn't half asleep pinning my eyes open with matchsticks. The acting was dire, (who the hell is this Dominique Swain and why is everyone going on and on about her in their reviews, it certainly can't be for her acting ability) and the story was a pointless rip-off of films like 'Candyman' whilst the Bloody Mary story is overrated now. I heard rumours that the director wanted to call the film 'Bloody Mary' but was beaten in the race by another movie just being released, and so he thought of the name Dead Mary 'because most of the time you don't see the force, just the reactions of people who sense it' or some gibberish like that. Having a film with almost exactly the same story coming out at exactly the same time as this one must have said something to the director surely? That maybe we don't need two films about the same thing? But oh no, this was obviously going to be fantastic because he'd changed the name and if the story lagged a bit in the middle then we could enjoy close-ups of women's breasts and legs and thighs (when will director's learn that they aren't only trying to appeal to the male audience; if they want women to watch as well then stop with the soft-core women running around in bikinis or skimpy clothes while the cameraman has the best day of his life filming them from the chest down.)

All in all, bad story, stupid people and too much clevage for my liking (none would have been my preference and if any males think I'm trying to spoil their movie viewing pleasure, we'll see how they like it if a director stuck a load of half or fully naked men in the film, running around like idiots when there is no basis for this anywhere in the story.