L'Eclisse - 1962 ***

I think ironically, I am the least impressed with "L'Eclisse" and the most impressed with "L'Aventurra" out of the trilogy of Antonioni's films. Usually each film in a trilogy (especially from someone as renowned and respected as Antonioni) has something amazing about it that helps you differentiate between it and the others, but this movie and 'La Notte' sort of merged into one and I would probably have a hard time remembering the story for each if I hadn't read the synopsis.
This last story of the trilogy was based around the deteriorating relationship between a man and a woman and includes more wandering around and more close ups and sighing from both parties. A lot of symbolism in the film I'm sure, but I just found it rather tedious.

La Carriere de Suzanne - 1963 ***

Another of Eric Rohmer's 'Moral Tales' this time revolving around a woman named Suzanne who meets two university students and, flattered by their attention towards her, begins to be used as they enjoy themselves with her money. The men are deeply unpleasant characters who think that they have some god given right to abuse Suzanne's trust and morals simply because she has something that they want. Suzanne however, has a few tricks up her sleeve.
I really enjoyed this. Not too long, not too drawn out, just right for the story matter.

Le Boulangere de Moncreau - 1963 ****1/4

A fascinating character study of a man in 1960s Paris who, after declaring his undyling love for one girl, Sylvie, he begins a meaningless flirtation with a local woman working in a Bakery. He begins to visit her everyday under the pretence of buying various pastries, and soon believes her to be interested in him. In his eyes he is angry that she thinks she might stand a chance with him, despite the fact that he has been leading her on with kind words and actions and he soon decides to show her once and for all that he doesn't like her. Very interesting little film (and really makes you crave cookies!)

Chloe in the Afternoon - 1972 ***

I'm really into Rohmer's films at the moment and am taking much delight in watching one after the other, much as I did with Claude Chabrol some years earlier. I am keen to see all his 6 'Moral Tales' - a selection of films with specific morals running through them, and so far I have seen this, and 'My Night at Maud's.' MNAT was superior by far, as although I found his next offering a delight to watch, I couldn't help being put off by the ugliness of the lead female and the disturbingly male behaviour of the lead man. The whole film seems to revolve around the typical arrogance most males seem to exude when they get married, that they are somehow 'missing out' on all the other women who they could be with. This one particular man raves on about how much he loves his wife and how he would never be unfaithful to her, but when an old flame 'Chloe' turns up they begin a weird cat and mouse game of chasing each other and then pulling back when the other becomes interested. As soon as she shows interest in him he gets a sudden attack of conscience over his lovely wife who has at this time just given birth and rushes back to her. Pathetic. A good film, but the two leads repulsed me too much with their behaviour.

Hiroshima Mon Amour - 1959 *

I know this is supposed to be a masterpiece but I found the entire concept of the movie very upsetting. The footage of Hiroshima was too much and made me feel quite distressed. I remember studying Hiroshima at school and the impact it had on me then was tremendous. The actors did their best with what they had and I appreciate it was a tricky idea to execute but I found the film matter a bit much and it left me feeling very unsettled for hours afterwards.

My Night At Maud's - 1969 ****1/2

Strange to see two such different films from the same year (this and 'La Notte') but this was far superior to the other. My first experience of Rohmer was a happy one, and I was riveted throughout the entire movie as I experienced a potential candidate (in my eyes) for best movie of 1969. Another example of New Wave cinema from France.
A catholic man in his thirties with strict morals about fidelity and marriage bumps into an old friend on Christmas Eve who takes him back to a female friend's flat. The woman, Maud, spends the evening talking to the two men about everything from relationships to religion to politics. It then starts to snow, and the man is offered shelter at her flat until morning. With this, his morals fly out the window.
This results in a fascinating movie with some completely natural acting. I was so moved by the woman who played Maud's acting that I took in every single movement and word that she did and said with much gusto.
Another hidden gem in my eyes, a bit like 'The Soft Skin' by Francois Truffaut.

La Notte - 1969 ***

Having been so bowled over by Antonioni's first offering (L'Aventura') I figured the second in the triology would be equally fascinating. Although I think Mastroianni and Moreau are fantastic actors I couldn't quite appreciate their relationship. I was aware that they were a married couple who had both been unfaithful but they didn't appear to have any chemistry between them, even in the few tender moments where they seem like they might be getting closer together. They spent most of the film at a party wandering around individually looking unhappy. Comparing this to the first film of the trilogy left me bitterly disappointed. Such a shame after the intensity of the first one.

Foolish Wives - 1922 ***

If this film had been about half the length I really would have given it higher marks, because I found it a thrilling glimpse into 1920s silent film. However I'll be honest, my mind was drifting by the time I was 3/4 through. Von Stroheim is a master of his art, and the way he directed and starred in this made me desperate to see more of his work. It was incredibly refreshing to see how his characters interacted with each other and to see the passion in their faces as they performed. Interesting film of it's time.

New Best Friend - 2002 ****

This was a peculiar film, because on the surface it comes across as a shallow attempt of Cruel Intentions, when in reality it is just as potent and drips with all the ingredients that make a thriller enjoyable. There is back-stabbing, double-crossing, deceit, drug taking and disturbing revelations afoot after a high-achieving girl stumbles into the 'IT' crowd at college by accident. She becomes friends with blonde, rebellious Hadley and is soon sucked into a scary new world of alcohol and drugs.
Good film with a 'shocking' ending (but you will probably figure it out well before then!)

Ruthless People - 1986 ****

I must say the cover of the film was what put me off watching it for such a long time. It looked so dated and a bit tacky to be honest. But sooner or later I realised that I have seen the majority of 80s comedies and really needed to watch it to 'tick it off the list.' Well all I can say is I'm so glad I finally watched it. It was hilarious. Bette Midler is on top form and Danny DeVito made me chuckle almos constantly throughout the film.
DeVito plays a filthy rich businessman who has decided he wanted to get rid of his wife so that he can move his mistress in instead. However, luck seems to be changing for him when his wife is kidnapped by his ex-employee and girlfriend who then hold her for ransom. However, the kidnappers are meek, mild people who wouldn't hurt a fly and instead of killing her because DeVito refuses to pay the ransom they instead let her stay with them. Then the tables turn...
Hilarious. I've said it before and I'll say it again, this was one of the best comedies from that decade I have seen!

The Smiling Madame Beudet - 1922 ***

A little known silent film from 1922, Madame Beudet's agonising look of despair and rejection speaks through decades of film. Trapped in a marriage with a selfish and stifling man who cares nothing for his wife's pursuits or interests and instead tries to smother her with his own problems she has hallucinations and recurring nightmares that she cannot escape.

An interesting 'feminist' film, and short enough to fit into an hour's break.

(NOIR) Murder My Sweet - 1944 ***

I'm concerned that I didn't find this nearly as good as the critics rave about. In fact except for the occasionally funny one liners that Dick Powell comes out with I think that the rest of the film was quite poor. I'm not sure if I like Powell as Philip Marlowe, because to be honest I feel like Bogart IS Marlowe, so it's strange for another actor to take his place, especially one who is well known for singing and playing rom-com parts. He does make quite a good detective however, and is suitably smarmy into the account, but something about his performance just didn't click for me. Claire Trevor was typically beautiful and sultry as the femme fatale, but there was hardly any chemistry between the characters, except for the friendly 'bro-mance' between Marlowe and Malloy.
One to see, but would recommend 'The Big Sleep' with Bogart instead if you want to see Philip Marlowe at his best.

(HORROR) I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer - 2006 ***

I was surprised actually how good this was considering the last offering was about 8 years ago. It deals with pretty much the same story as the other 2 did. A group of adults being pursued by a man in a cape with a hook and being killed off one at a time in an array of interesting deaths. The ending is pretty silly, and when you discover the identity of the being it's quite amusing and actually lowers the tone of the film even more. But it wasn't a bad movie when you consider how hideous the 3rd film in a trilogy usually is.

(HORROR) Noriko's Dinner Table - 2005 **

I'm not quite sure why this is called a sequel to 'Suicide Club' because if anything it is a prequel to the events leading up to the mass suicide under the train at the beginning of the latter. It's extremely confusing, but what I got from it was that a young girl named Noriko who doesn't feel like she belongs in her family and her current life, runs away to Tokyo to meet the founder of a teenage chat room whom she has been speaking to. It turns out that every person who committed suicide under the train was also a member. Sort of a place for lost souls to go who 'don't fit in'. However, the girl she meets turns out to be a very peculiar being who, along with her family delights in playing strange mind games with Noriko and telling her lies about how she was brought up. She succeeds in 'brainwashing' Noriko into believing that she has no family and that she lives there with her.
It's all very odd, a bit more in the vein of 'Strange Circus' than 'Suicide Club' but also seems to deal more with Tokyo culture and how teenage girls get sucked into an artificial world of celebrity.

(HORROR) The Suicide Club - 2001 ***

I have wanted to watch this for years and finally got the chance to see this and the sequel this weekend. Absolutely bizarre is all I can say. Japan really has surreal and disturbing horror down to a T. Some parts of the film really stick in your head for hours afterwards, such as the very first scene where 54 female students jump in front of a train set to strange Scottish music. Very weird. From then on the whole film tries to work out why suicides are happening all around Tokyo and what could lead such a large group of girls to commit suicide in happy unison. There isn't really an answer to this film, and it's more about what goes on beneath the surface than the exterior.
I actually quite enjoyed it. (Sick or what?)

The Magnificent Ambersons - 1942 ***

I seem to be going through a spate of disappointing films recently. This was an offering that I was sure would impress me, but actually it didn't, and the only positive thing I got from the film was watching Joseph Cotten prance around for an hour and a half. Nice to see Orson Welles giving the main part to Cotten (they bonded in 'The Third Man') but even the fact that he directed this film didn't mean it was worthwhile. Based on a book of the same name, but don't think I will be reaching for it quite yet.

The Killing of a Chinese Bookie - 1976 *

I have yet to find a John Cassavetes movie that I actually like. I didn't like this. I thought it was a mis-matched jumble of rubbishness and I was thoroughly unimpressed. The film ambles on at a really ridiculous pace with no aim or resolution. Very disappointed.

(NOIR) The Reckless Moment - 1949 ***

I actually thought this was a very mediocre film. It was slow and nothing much seemed to happen until the last few minutes which resulted in a bizarre and slightly over-the-top climax. Joan Bennett was very frumpy and I found her performance to be less than average. James Mason as the blackmailer turned good guy was about the only saving grace of the whole thing. A jumbled mistake that I wish I hadn't watched.

Stuart: A Life Backwards - 2006 ****

The combination of Cumberbatch and Hardy in one gritty and real film is enough to guarantee it's popularity as far as I am concerned. Added to which, parts of it were filmed very close to where I work which made it even more likeable.
Based on a true account, Cumberbatch plays Alexander, a bookish, intelligent man who meets Stuart, an aggressive drunk and thoroughly mixed up human being at a protest for homeless people.
Despite his initial reactions, Alexander soon forms a close bond with Stuart, enough for him to suggest that he writes a book about Stuart's troubled life so that people can understand why he ended up on 'the wrong side of the tracks'. Stuart is in agreement, but says the best way for his story to be told is backwards like a murder mystery, so that people can see who 'murdered the innocent child that he was'.
The acting from both these people, especially Tom Hardy is superb. It is fluid, frightening, calm, uncomfortable and completely natural and just seems like these two are meant for their parts. The story is actually very moving and quite painful in places. It will certainly leave you with a lump in your throat.

(NOIR) He Ran All the Way Home - 1951 ***

An interesting film, but not one of the best noirs in my personal opinion (owing to the weak story and ridiculous co-star of Garfield).
John Garfield is electrifying and completely steals every scene he is in, which makes Shelley Winters pretty pale in comparison.
Garfield plays a thief and down-on-his-luck kind of guy, who plans to steal some money off an acquaintance with the help of his only friend. This however goes horribly wrong when his friend is killed, and Garfield is then on the run. He befriends a gullible spinster at a local swimming pool and then ends up taking her whole family hostage.
I don't think I have ever seen a film with Winters where she didn't annoy me to the point of switiching off and this was no different. Her manner and utterly pathetic demeanor does her no favours when her family become hostages and I found myself having no sympathy for her.
Garfield is the highlight of this film, and could probably have carried the whole thing off himself without any help from any other characters. It's a shame he didn't, but his last film before his death is one that will stick in my mind.

The White Countess - 2005 ***

I always find it very sad to watch Natasha Richardson in anything nowadays since her tragic death in 2009. Mainly because she was such a beautiful and talented actress with a tremendously wide acting range.
Set in 1930's Shanghai, the Merchant Ivory film follows the exploits of a woman named Sofia (aka Countess Belinskya) who has found work as a dancer in a sleazy club after escaping from the Russian revolution. There she meets Fiennes, a former official who has lost both his wife and children in 2 separate terrorist bombings. The result of this has left him blind, (I actually didn't even notice until about half way into the film!) After opening a luxurious nightclub he convinces Sofia to start working for him and in her honour, names the club 'The White Countess.'
This film did drag a bit, but was beautifully done with sumptuous acting from both stars.

Heartburn - 1986 ****

I actually found Streep and Nicholson really good together. Nicholson plays Mark (Carl Bernstein's character) and Streep plays Rachel (Nora Ephron's character) who finds out about that her husband is having an affair only after they have married, bought a house and had two children. Nicholson is suitably sleazy and sexist and Streep clings to the initial 'pathetic woman' stance, moving swiftly on to the 'independant and single woman' vibe soon after the affair is aired. I thought the chemistry was good, and it was mildly funny, but at the same time incredibly painful to watch. You totally empathise with Rachel and how she feels and are willing her to make the right choice.

Boudu Saved From Drowning - 1932 ***

I'm strugglnig to come up with something good to say about this film, except that it was done by Jean Renoir. Other than that, this film was desperately disappointing, and even more so because I had waited years and years to see it. It was unfunny, uninteresting and generally uninspiring.
The film revolves around a tramp named Boudu who decides to end it all by drowning himself. Fortunately he is rescued by a nice family who try to look after him and lift his spirits but not before he has completely taken over their home and driven them up the wall.
Very sad to feel this way about the film especially seeing as 'Un Partie de Campagne' was so beautifully done.

(NOIR) Night and the City - 1950 ** 1/2

Although this is always thought of as one of the best noirs out there I was completely uninterested and underwhelmed by it. I've seen a fair few noirs so do have some sort of idea as to how they work. This was a noir certainly, but the acting (completely over the top by Richard Widmark) was appalling, and the story crumbled as it went on. Based around a crooked named Harry Fabien (Widmark) and his decline into the underworld of criminal activity and illegal wrestling this film pulled barely any punches, and I was left gobsmacked by the ridiculous if not slightly laughable ending. Gene Tierney is beautiful but even she couldn't save this film, or Herbert Lom, and Googie Withers fell very short of the grade as well. Added to which, for a film set in the 1930s it had a surprisingly 1950s feel to it (which is hardly surprising).

Last Night - 2011 ***

'Last Night' is one of those annoying films where if you have particular morals or views on infidelity it will irritate you no end.

Keira Knightley was probably the best thing about the film, as Sam Worthington's acting was utterly wooden and dull, and Eva Mendes' face is the wrong shape.

Knightley and Worthington play a married couple who so far seem to be enjoying married life. But he has to go off with work overnight with a colleague whom he has admitted to being attracted to, leaving Knightley alone. She then happens to bump into her old flame Alex (who she never really got over) who offers to take her out for dinner, and both Knightley and Worthington have that night to decide whether to resist or surrender to the temptation in front of them. (No prizes for guessing what they both do).

This film is realistic to a degree, but it also poses the typical adage that no one can resist temptation if they are handed it on a plate which I don't happen to agree with. Worth a watch.

The Vanishing - 1988 **

If you read the synopsis on Wikipedia about this film it makes it sound utterly riveting, but in reality, it drags on far too long, it's not particularly interesting, and I found the acting to be too over the top. And yes, I have also seen the remake and thought that was equally as apalling if not worse.

The idea of the disappearance is good, the idea of the obsessive boyfriend is good, and the eventual fate of one of the characters is also good, so why wasn't it better executed??

Why do we spend what seems like hours watching the boyfriend wander around aimlessly, when what he is doing could be expressed in half the time? I really didn't take to this version and I usually steadfastly stand by originals of horror and thriller movies.

Easy-A - 2010*

A hideous attempt by American film-makers to produce a comedy based around a girl who chooses to ruin her 'good girl' image by letting people think she is a sl** then starts to worry when it backfires. I'm not sure what the point of the movie is, unless it's to give us an idea of what people in America do at school? Or how fickle people can be when judging someone they don't even know?It doesn't paint American students in the best light really, or American teenage girls if you want to be pedantic. It really was garbage and I'm ashamed to have taken the time to watch it.

Jack and Sarah - 1995 ***

I was convinced that I wouldn't care about this film enought to cry before I started watching it. But I did. And it was all because of Richard E.Grant and his emotional acting. I didn't care much for Samantha Mathis, and I wasn't a huge fan of the baby either, but I was absorbed by Grant's painful transition from husband and father-to-be to widow and father of one. He acted the way I believe a lot of men would after the loss of their wife, but wouldn't like to admit. I think Richard E. Grant is wonderful, so he really made this film for me. A lot of people say that it's not a very funny comedy, but I don't personally believe it's supposed to be. I think it's a drama with some comic moments thrown in. Bit of a difference.

Bull Durham - 1988 *

This in my opinion was a very poor excuse for a comedy. I kept seeing it floating around Amazon and decided just to watch it and see what all the fuss was about.

To put it bluntly, the fuss was about nothing. It was rubbish. It's about a baseball player who becomes attracted to a baseball groupie who has an affair with a baseball player each season. That's about it. What a waste of time. Susan Sarandon isn't at her best here, and neither is Kevin Costner. A boring film. Not funny at all. Am amazed that Billy Wilder said he liked it.

Bridesmaids - 2011 **

I thoroughly disliked this film. I hear that people are raving about it and calling it original, well I guess it is, but that doesn't mean it's any good. Wills and Kate reportedly went to see it and found it very funny, so I'm not sure what I'm missing.

All the characters were deeply unlikeable especially the lead blonde woman who comes across as a very selfish human being. The bride is weird, the other bridesmaids just sort of fade into the background, and the men have the most ridiculous accents you have heard. Am not sure either why Matt Lucas (who is British down to his socks) is being paired with a 'sister' who has a heavy Australian/South African accent. Something isn't right there. I do despair for modern comedy I really do, it just seems to be disappointment after disappointment.

Nights in Rodanthe - 2008 ***

If I hear that one more of Nicholas Spark's books has been made into a film I may check into an asylum. Sparks has a knack of producing almost identically themed stories, usually to do with relationships and loss and drawing them out until the reader just gives up.

He's done the same here, and this time Gere and Lane have teamed up once again to portray two characters that can either make you sob into your cushion or glare at angrily throughout the whole movie.

Lane goes to her friend's beach house to get away from a difficult marriage, and Gere goes with the initial idea of reconnecting with his estranged son. They are the only two people there, and therefore start talking and realising that they have things in common. One thing leads to another etc etc. Then a tragic accident changes everything. There is one very emotional moment towards the end, but I really think if you want a weepie it would be best to go for 'Bridges of Madison County' (which this film reminds me a lot of).

I like Gere as an actor, and Diane Lane isn't bad, but I think I preferred them both in 'Unfaithful.'

Bitter Moon - 1992 **

Hugh Grant was his usual irritating self in this, and I was completely put off by seeing Emmanuelle Seigner's eyebrows which seemed bigger than her whole head. Polanski is a bit of a hit or miss with me (a bit like Steve Martin) and although it was a fairly interesting look into a couple's relationship, it didn't do anything for me. Grant's morals seem continually absent in most of his films and they were no different here. He comes on a luxury cruise with his other half Fiona (Scott Thomas) and is almost immediatly obsessing over Seigner despite the fact that she is there with her crippled husband and doesn't actually seem very interested in him anyway. Her husband pulls Grant to one side and begins to tell him the story of how they met and fell in love. Grant isn't interested to start with but then becomes infatuated with everything he says. Meanwhile Fiona is feeling sea-sick and being irritating to little children.

Polanski's films always have a dark nature to them, but I found this just a bit much, and can't say I enjoyed it.

The Lonely Guy - 1984 *** 1/2

I can take or leave Steve Martin. Sometimes I think he's hilarious, and at other times his face annoys me. This time however I was quite amused (what a surprise, a funny film not from modern day Hollywood) at Martin's bumbling excuse of a man who always has bad luck, from catching his girlfriend in bed with someone else, to meeting a man who keeps threatening to commit suicide, to resorting to fake sweat to attract women after pretending he has been on a 10 mile run and so on. Martin's very dry, and some people won't get his sense of humour. And sometimes I don't. But here I did. And I had a couple of laugh out loud moments which rarely happens.

Friends with Benefits - 2011 **

I watched 14 films this weeked, and the first was this 'comedy' from last year.

Now I love Mila Kunis, I think she's gorgeous, but Justin Timberlake really needs to stick to singing instead of trying to make people laugh because he DOESN'T.

People are branding this film as though it's a new and exciting idea for romantic comedy - the whole 'friends can sleep together without having any feelings for each other' is certainly not new.

Before you've even pressed play you know how the film is going to be, and that's the sad state of American comedy these days, that you can almost predict everything that is going to happen.

Kunis meets Timberlake at work. They are both damaged from previous relationships and believe that they can have meaningless sex without getting attached to each other. Of course that's not going to happen. More likely is that someone is going to get seriously hurt, considering the constant referral to how 'damaged' they are every half an hour. That's not even a spoiler, but just a general feeling I got about 15 minutes getting into the film.

The actors don't really seem to connect with each other, and there isn't much chemistry, and the film isn't even particularly funny. It's old hat. It's been done (I'm not sure where but surely it has??) and you are taken on an almost pointless trip that you really don't want to go on.

I haven't seen 'No Strings Attached' yet but have heard it's a bit like this? Not sure if I dare.

Never let me Go - 2010 **

I know I'm going to upset everyone here but I seriously disliked this film. I'm not sure if it is partly to do with the fact I couldn't understand what the hell was going on or whether the characters were so dreadfully unlikeable that I gave up the will to live. Keira Knightley wasn't on top form here, and Carey Mulligan was infuriating. The idea that these three characters had an intense love for each other throughout the movie was not examined in enough detail. I think maybe if I read the book it would give a more detailed look at their relationships, but here everything seemed very wishy-washy and dull. *SPOILERS* I understand that the characters are in effect born to donate their organs and that is their purpose in life, I also understand that maybe they don't react properly to certain situations because they are programmed not to, but I don't get why they act like robots for most of the movie. Even the 'emotional scenes' are devoid of any actual emotion. They seem to act the same whether they are happy are sad, and at the end of the day they are still humans and must have most of the same thoughts and feelings that others do.

Very weird, disjointed film. I didn't like it.

Lady Godiva Rides Again AKA Bikini Baby - 1951 **

I thought apart from the exceptional Kay Kendall who is fabulous in everything, that this movie was pretty bad. Diana Dors isn't what I would call a good actress, I mean she is very beautiful but that's where her talents end in my opinion. A small town girl enters a beauty contest and wins. She is swept up in the high life and as a result, begins to neglect her close friend and boyfriend. I must say it toally missed the split second where we see Ruth Ellis, and that may well have been the only good, interesting thing about the movie. (Oh, and Alastair Sim had a small part as well)

(HORROR) The Innkeepers - 2011 **

Sorry, but this was a very poor excuse for a horror film. Sara Paxton is pretty rubbish and nothing much was going on here that would hold anyone's attention for long.

The Yankee Pedlar inn is closing, and the two employees who have been chosen to work until the end are determined to reveal and document the hotel's haunted past. This includes making a website and filming 'ghostly' activity.

Some of it was a bit eerie, but on the whole what annoyed me the most was Sara Paxton's stupid face looked concerned and worried in equal amounts. There is only so much of it one can take.

(HORROR) Megan is Missing - 2011 ****

'Megan is Missing' is a very powerful film. Although it's based on true events (actually its based on a number of cases not just one) it still manages to come across as terrifying. It's a warning to all people out there never to trust what people say over a computer screen, and to always go with someone else when you are going to meet them. Sadly younger girls are awfully naive when it comes to this sort of thing, and can become embroiled in situations beyond their control.

Megan is a popular, confident and pretty 15 year old girl, who enjoys promiscuous enocunters with guys, partying and doing drugs. Her 13 year old best friend Amy is the complete polar opposite, shy, insecure and quiet, but somehow, the two girls are very close and perfectly compatible. When Megan starts talking to a boy on the internet, all she can think of is when and where they can meet, and without telling Amy where she is going, she disappears. A few days later Amy is also gone.

An important film to watch, and very upsetting in some scenes, but actually one of the better 'lost footage' movies of it's time.

(HORROR) The Clinic - 2011 *

First of all, 'WHAT??!' My BFF was over for film day yesterday and I stupidly thought this would be a great film for us to laugh at. I was under the impression (because I hadn't bothered to read up about the plot) that it was about a plastic surgery clinic and that therefore we would be taking the mickey out of girls with boob jobs gone wrong, but actually it turned out to be another kind of clinic.And it was bloody awful.

A heavily pregnant woman and her fiance (what a surprise!!) break down on the way to their in-laws (what a surprise!!) on Christmas Eve (what a surprise!!) and decide to take shelter in a weird looking motel, the only one open for miles around (again, what a bloody surprise). The girl goes to sleep, the man goes out to look for Chinese food in the middle of the night (as you do) and when he returns, the girl has disappeared. For god's sake, when are we going to have a horror film without millions of stupid cliches that totally ruin the atmosphere???Just watch the trailer, read about it on imdb and you won't have to bother actually seeing the whole film. I implore you.

(NOIR) The Blue Dahlia - 1946 ****

'Tamed by a brunette, framed by a blonde, blamed by the cops' (just had to include the wonderful tagline)

I wish reviewers would stop saying that this film is based on the Black Dahlia murder when it isn't. Actually Elizabeth Smart was nick-named the 'Black Dahlia' after a suitor got the name of the film wrong, and it stuck. The Blue Dahlia is a place, not a person. Rant over.

I think this is probably the best of the 3 films I have seen with Lake and Ladd. Lake is astoundingly beautiful, Ladd is tantalisingly handsome, add in some dark scenes, some romance, some murder and you pretty much have this (and any other film noir that you would care to mention).

Ladd returns home from war early only to find that his alcoholic wife has been having an affair with a male friend. *SPOILERS* The wife is murdered the same night, and of course Ladd is the prime suspect (when we all know he didn't do it because he was chatting up Lake at the time).

I love these tense plots where the audience know the truth and the police don't, and there is no proof to save the hero. It keeps you glued to the seat.

Great movie, worth a watch for one of the greatest noir pairings ever.

Puss in Boots - 2011 ****

Before Puss's adventures with Donkey and Shrek, he was having quite a few adventures of his own after teaming up with Humpty Dumpty (an egg of unusual sorts) and Kitty Softpaws. Puss has been searching for Jack and Jill's magic beans his whole life, and so when he meets Kitty and is reunited with Humpty (his long-time friend from the orphanage where they were both raised) they decide to go searching for them, hoping to eventually find the golden goose eggs kept at the top of the beanstalk.

I must say that if it wasn't from Banderas, this film wouldn't be half the success it is. His voice matches the image you have of the cat and he's so perfect for the role. A spanish cat is spot on. The others are great, and there are many humourous moments spoofing well-known adventure films, as well as some very funny parts when we see Puss take full advantage of his 'feline' role.

It's a good story, and very enjoyable, and I don't think any of the other characters from Shrek could have carried a whole film on their shoulders. Puss is the best!!

(NOIR) Night Editor - 1946 ****

I actually enjoyed this noir, despite the fact it was a 'B' movie (going to show yet again that not all 'A' movies are the best.

The movie tells of a police lieutenant named Tony who starts an affair with a beautiful socialite (Janis Carter) behind his wife's back (ironically she is also cheating on her husband). One night they go for a drive to 'lovers lane' to be alone and are startled to see a a man bludgeoning his girlfriend to death. Because of their current situation they cannot report the crime without revealing their affair, and so begins a nerve-wracking journey where the main witness to the crime cannot help solve it without giving himself away.

A very interesting story and very taut and gripping. I liked.

(NOIR) On Dangerous Ground - 1951 **1/2

I was expecting something wonderful from Robert Ryan and Nicholas Ray, but was sadly disappointed with this mediocre offering from 1951. The story of a nasty cop who goes off the rails and then discovers he is a human being after all is nothing original in film noir, and Ida Lupino as a blind and slightly pathetic do-gooder is annoying. About the best thing was the music; not a film you should watch if you are just being introduced to film noir.

(HORROR) Staunton Hill - 2007 ***

Let's see, I found this in the bargain bin at the DVD shop. 'Nuff said? Well actually no, as it wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting it to be. The only thing that really got to me throughout the entire movie was that it was supposed to be set in 1969. This is 1969 of Woodstock, the Manson Murder and free love. These actors looked like they slung on whatever was at the back of their wardrobe and hoped they would merge in. The men had short hair, one of the girls actually had a hoodie(!) and the expressions and clothes in general were pretty rubbish and not of that time at all. It's one of the worst films I've seen in regards to trying to portray an authentic time, as it fails miserably.

That said, I actually quite liked the story. Sure it's been done before but it still came across as pretty gruesome and exciting to me. Plus there was no CGI whatsoever, so instead we got the nasty, bloody mess that gore fans love so much.

Watch it. You might like it just a bit.

Waitress - 2007 ****

Adrienne Shelly's sweet movie was tragically marred by her horrific murder before the film was released. Still, it doesn't stop you really enjoying the movie, and I really liked the story, although watching her act is quite upsetting. Keri Russell plays Jenna, a pie maker married to a disgusting brute of a man who abuses her, physically and mentally every day. Despite all this she doesn't lave,preferring to bide her time and save up enough money to get out one day in the future. The audience I would imagine are more concerned with the 'here and now' of the situation. She discovers (at the worst time possible) that she is pregnant and speaks to her doctor. Sparks fly, and it is all Jenna can do to not pack her whole marriage in. Instead, she makes pies, loads of pies of all flavours and titles, effectively living out her emotions into them as she bakes. She also goes through a variety of emotions regarding the baby and whether she actually wants to keep it or not. It's a sort of magical film, with surreal bits blown in, and actually I found that on the whole it was very humourous. Jenna has two friends at the diner where she works who are quirky and funny, and also very supportive of her. A nice little film, but I didn't agree with Jenna's attitude to her marriage, which seemed to be utterly hopeless. I wanted her to leave.

High Plains Drifter - 1973 *

I was expecting to go into 'High Plains Drifter' and be greeted with another fantastic movie like 'The Good, The Bad and the Ugly.' However I was so unimpressed by the movie that it left a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. Eastwood is a cowboy like no other, and in any other film I'm sure he would be exciting and cool. In this however, it was like he was completely uninterested in his own part, half acting, half slouching his way through the film, while scene after scene is shown where people are literally tripping themselves up to be in the same place as him. His manner is really not here nor there, it's not evil, and it's not good, it's just sort of 'medium', 'the gray area' which is totally baffling. It's amazing to see such a prolific actor take such an awfully menial part. Added to which, his directing skills really left a lot to be desired. Remember the gripping countdown of tension in TGTBATU? The way you knew something was going to happen and that when it did it would be monumental? Well there is nothing like that amount of tension here. There is a lot of walking around and long, long shots, but NOTHING HAPPENS. At all. The small amount of tension you get sort of filters off and evaporates. It was dull, far too violent for a Clint Estwood western with uncalled for swearing and pointless scenes that can only have been slotted in to make the male members of the audience sit up in their seats. Added to which there is some teeth-grating music that keeps coming on and off without warning, supposedly attempting to create a scare. It sounds like someone has got a bagpipe stuck in their windpipe. There is nothing to recommend about this movie at all.

(NOIR) Ministry of Fear - 1944 ****

Ray Milland is a really exciting actor. He has that incredibly open and honest face which is so perfect for films like 'Dial M for Murder' where he plays a really horrible character. Thankfully he is playing the hero in this, and very well he does it too.

Stephen Neale has just been released from a mental institution in wartime England during the Blitz. Whilst waiting for a train to London he stumbles upon what looks like an innocent village fete where one of the games is to guess the weight of a cake. A local woman offers to read his palm, and also bizarrely drops into the conversation the amount of the cake which will win him the competition. Stephen takes the cake to leave, but the villagers are having other ideas and try to persuade him to give it back soon after (yes, you guessed it!) Dan Duryea appears and speaks to the fortune teller.

From then on Stephen is fighting for his sanity and his life.

It does seem completely weird when you put it into words, but there is something very frightening about this film. Especially when we are confronted by various people that we really trust who turn out to be evil. Ray Milland is excellent as the thwart and paranoid man who feels like his past maybe catching up with him, but he doesn't understand how. Dan Duryea is yet again excellent in the moderate part that he has been given and really lights up the scene when he appears. The backdrop of the Blitz really adds to the unease and feeling that you should be whispering everything in case you are heard.

(NOIR) Black Angel - 1946 *****

I was utterly gripped by this film noir. June Vincent was excellent as the smouldering wife of a wrongly accused man, who teams up with the husband of the murdered woman to clear her husband's name. Doing so means that everything is at stake, and they have no idea who to trust, and who actually is the real killer. I'm becoming a huge fan of Dan Duryea. I remember a film critic talking about how right he was for film noir a long time ago but at that stage I had never heard of him. Now everytime I see him in one of these films I have to agree. He's shifty, but can be charming, slimy, but totally elegant, and completely a part of shadows and cigarette smoke. He merges in perfectly. He's the standout for this movie, with June Vincent (the cross between Ann Todd and Veronica Lake) and Peter Lorre taking second place. One of the better noirs.

Twisted Nerve - 1969 *****

'Twisted Nerve' in my opinion is a superb film. It is taut, gripping, full of jumps and terrifyingly psychological. After spending so long watching Hayley Mills in her earlier films she was completely unrecognizable as the joint lead in this.

Hywel Bennett plays a young man named Martin who is treated like a child by his mother and ignored by his father. The couple have another son but he is a mongoloid and therefore in a mental institution, (the film makes a big deal at the beginning to reassure viewers that people do not think of mongoloids as insane, it is just for the purpose of the movie). The mother is terrified that Martin will become 'weird' like his brother, and therefore pampers and mothers him to the extent where he retreats into a childish world where he names himself 'Georgie', plays with his toys and speaking like someone with a bit of a problem. The irony! In reality, Martin is an intelligent and manipulative person, who becomes obsessed by Susan (Mills) after she gets him out of a shoplifting scrape and goes to great extremes trying to track her down. When he finally does, it is at her home which she shares with her mother (Billie Whitelaw) and a number of lodgers. Adopting his 'Georgie', Martin hopes to worm his way into her affections, and nothing will stop him...

A brilliant film to see at night with the lights off. The most terrifying thing is Martin's mind which has no limits or boundaries, no matter who ends up hurt.

Chinatown - 1974 ***

I felt the same way about 'Chinatown' that I did about 'L.A.Confidential', which was that I was underwhelmed. Maybe I wasn't in the right mood to watch either and that can put me off watching anything, but I would have thought that a film which boasts tons of top 50 film lists would have pulled me in a bit more. Jack Nicholson is great and I find him a very bizarre actor. He did suit the 1930s get-up, but I was totally unimpressed by Faye Dunaway. Her character was completely non-descript and got on my nerves constantly. I liked the premise of the film, and the seedy, sweaty world which Nicholson seems to inhabit more than his own home, but the story was a bit of a jumble, and I suspect Polanski used a mish-mash of very successful film noirs to help him with the plot. I cannot call this a film noir, because it didn't have those qualities, I would simply call it a crime drama. One thing I did like about the film was how Nicholson lit up every scene he was in. The minute he appears in a room he takes it over so that you are concentrating on him and him alone, that is a pretty powerful trait to have as an actor these days.