The Invention of Lying - 2009 * * *

In a world where everyone can only tell the truth, he's just invented the lie.

I knew this wouldn't be up to much. And besides the fact it's not that funny it brings up certain bizarre questions based on religion, such as ' do we all get three chances to get into heaven?' 'Do we get a mansion when we die?' etc.

Ricky Gervais is barely funny, although some parts ( such as reading off the pizza boxes raised a smile from me.) The strange need that all the characters have to speak every single thought they have as long as it's 'the truth' doesn't work well. Even if everyone had to tell the truth in a weird distopian world, why does that actually mean that people have to say everything in their head?

Example: Jennifer Garner and Ricky go out to dinner, Garner insults Gervais on the phone to her mother saying he is chubby, ugly and has a snub nose.However when they finish the evening and say goodbye she says it was really nice to see him and she enjoyed herself!

If this was the case and she can hold back ( she obviously didn't just want to say that and was probably going to say something along the lines of 'I really enjoyed myself but you are still a minger') then why did she have to make cruel remarks to him at the beginning of the evening?

The inconsistences are too much and you come out of the film feeling you have been watching a strange parallel universe.

Also just because he can lie why does that automatically mean people are going to believe him?

( He goes into a bank and asks for £800 although he knows he only has £300 left in his account, and yet the woman after looknig at the screen and seeing he only has £300 apologises for the 'mistake!').

Added to which Jennifer Garner has had horrible surgery on her mouth - gross.

Crush - 2010 * * *

Attraction can be fatal.

This movie was a bit of a weird combination. As regards to it being quite eerie and basing itself around a stalker-like ex-lover who takes one night to mean forever then it's not a bad attempt.

However if you are basing the merits of this film on the second part of the movie where it becomes simply ridiculous then you're headed for a fall.

Chris Egan, whom I faintly remember from 'Home And Away' plays a preppy, sport obsessed bloke who, despite the affections of his lovely girlfriend cannot help but fall for the mysterious niece of the owners of the house he is house-sitting which leads to devestating consequences.

Acting is pretty good, but the lead girl is really freaky and her huge doe-eyes put me off. Still, not a long film so worth watching just to say you have seen it.

The Return - 2006 *

The past never dies, it kills.

This was a pathetic excuse for a horror film. I had some idea that this was following on from SMG's earlier success 'The Grudge' but I was proved wrong.

The story was a complete tangled mess, the acting was atrocious ( I thought she was supposed to be able to act!) and the ending made no sense whatsover. It was just a bad film and because of how well the other one had done, it just eluminated how awful this was.

We never really figure out anything at the end so bang goes a brilliant twist; at that, the plots seem to collide with each other in a ridiculous way.

No point watching, not even for free. My DVD will be on it's way to the charity shop very soon.

Nothing but trouble - 1991 * * * *

All they wanted was a little getaway, all they got was nothing but trouble...

I honestly can't see why this film was slated so much on it's release. To me it was hilarious!

Chevy Chase is very funny and so (of course) is John Candy (who plays a cop and a woman).

Chevy Chase, his potential girlfriend and his 2 friends drive off for a fun weekend together, but take a wrong turn and end up in a bizarre area of the backwoods where they stumble upon a sadistic Judge and his family who like to 'charge then dismember' anyone who they decide isn't worthy of life.

They end up all having to work together to decide a way to escape, but it's not going to be as easy as they think..

Some scenes are so stomach-churning they actually made me turn away, but it's all in good fun really and Dan Ackroyd is on top for as the Judge so that makes everything alright. Contrary to popular belief I thought Chevy Chase was great in this!

Cover Girl - 1944 * * * *

Slowly I'm working my way through the musicals that I haven't been lucky enough to see yet from the 30s and 40s. I am very lucky to have seen so many already and was privileged to have a mother and grandmother who had an endless supply of them to keep me occupied.

Despite being one of the most well known musicals of the 40s and one of Rita Hayworth's most popular I had never watched Cover Girl until recently.

Well to have a film with both Gene Kelly and Rita Hayworth is something of a treat, and when I watched it it totally blew me away.

Cover Girl is the story of a beautiful girl called Rusty who, after some good luck, lands herself a job as a popular Cover Girl. Gene Kelly plays Rita's love interest and is on top form as usual. Highlights include the astounding duo dance sequence he does with another version of himself in the dark streetas which is just so Gene Kelly. For me this is the best part of the film. That and being able to see Rita Hayworth in her run up to Gilda ( I haven't seen that either...) which plummeted her to stardom. She was a talented woman and one of the most beautiful to look at in the whole world. Her dance routines remind me quite a lot of 'My Gal Sal', ( a movie she did with Victor Mature) where she plays Paul Dresser's love interest and has to perform early 20th century dance routines in beautiful outfits. She is certainly showcased perfectly in both films (where she gets to show off her highly prized legs.... so jealous!), but as regards to storyline (and not counting the fact that I love Gene Kelly and don't particularly like Victor Mature) I'm going to have to nominate 'My Gal Sal' over this, although there is no doubt that this is a classic and will stay in my collection.

Frenzy - 1972 * * * *

Coming up to 2 years ( can it really be that long?) since I originally purchased the Alfred Hitchcock boxset I have 2 left ( to my knowledge) that I haven't seen. I decided to watch this at the weekend, in the mood for a good serial killer movie.

This movie bares comparisons to 'Straight on 'til morning' ( although that was a Hammer horror and filmed about five years beforehand.) I loved that film, and I loved this. Hitchcock as usual is on top form ( look out for his cameo at the very beginning, makes me chuckle!)and really gets the audience to grips with early 1970s London.

There is a terrifying killer on the loose murdering women by strangling them with his necktie ( how very refined!) therefore known to the general public as 'The Necktie Strangler.'

Jon Finch plays the lead Richard, and after getting fired from his job in a pub decides to make other arrangements with his girlfriend ( played excellently by Anna Massey). However, the pub landlord is not impressed and begins to believe that Richard is running away with his girlfriend for the wrong reasons and leading her into danger...

The clever thing about this film is that Hitchcock decided to fill the film with unglamorous actors to give an impression of real London and I feel it works superbly. I certainly wasn't disappointed to see someone like Massey in the main female lead instead of someone like Grace Kelly or Tippi Hedren. As long as they can give us a good show that's all that matters.

Brilliant ending that makes the whole film worthwhile, although there are some camp moments towards the final scene that made me laugh. This film on the whole is black comedy as opposed to thriller. But as it's done by Hitchcock you know you're in for a treat.

Soul Survivors - 2001 * *

The world of the dead and the worth of the living, are about to collide.

Put in blunt terms, this is a dreadful film. The acting is ridiculous as only Americans can do, the plot is disjointed and there are so many plot holes that the whole thing is like a joke. The story in itself isn't too bad, but once you realise there are lots and lots of layers underneath that you need to understand before you can 'truly understand' it becomes a bit of a mess.

Wes Bentley is the weirdest looking bloke ever and is infuriating to watch after a while, but then again so is the female lead. Too much groaning, gasping and running and not enough proper development in the storyline for my liking.

The ending comes as such a shock, but not a particularly good one, as by that time you don't really care one way or another.

And for people who don't understand, the title sort of gives it away at the beginning...

Hide and Seek - 2005 * * * *

Come out, come out wherever you are..

What a fantastic film. I kept getting this and 'Don't Say a Word' mixed up which is very bizarre as they are nothing alike.

Dakota Fanning is one of the best young actresses out there these days and she and Robert De Niro really bounced off each other.

After finding his wife dead after commiting suicide in their home, De Niro takes his daughter to a new area to try and rebuild both their lives. However his daughter soon starts mentioning a friend named Charlie who appears to be invisible, leaving De Niro to start to question his daughter's sanity.

The twist is brilliant, had me completely fooled and you WILL NOT guess the ending.

I think it deserves a second viewing to pick up on some bits you might not notice the first time round. Fanning's portrayal of a disturbed young girl is amazing, and hopefully she will be in many more films like this.

De Niro is a very versatile actor and I admire him greatly, another one who I hope will continue to make good films ( De Niro himself claimed this was one of the low points of his career, can't think why.)

Hush - 1998 * * * *

Don't breathe a word.

I don't get why this is such a slated film, I thought it was really good and the performances (especially Paltrow's) were brilliant. I love the fact that it isn't well known and that I have been able to uncover it. This is why watching so many films can be so rewarding.

Jessica Lange is on top form as the disturbed and dillusional mother of Paltrow's boyfriend who is determined not to let her son's new girlfriend get in the way of her relationship with him.

Some genuinely eerie moments ( favourite being the event happening in the bedroom towards the end)and a really good and fulfilling ending, this is so worth your time, so ignore all negative reviews.

The Burrowers - 2008 * *

Evil will Surface.

This was a hideous excuse for a movie. It really was dire. The trailers looked so promising that I was really looking forward to it. The beginning of the film is probably the best part because from then onwards it goes downhill, mostly consisting of some men wandering around on horseback trying to find out what has happened to a family that disappeared from their home. Reviewers who love this film say that people who dislike it are braindead because it's not non-stop explosions and that you actually need to think about it as your going along. I have no wish to watch continuous films with explosions in and I still disliked it. It's slow because nothing actually happens!

The only humour comes from the creatures. And that is because they are computerised.

Dreadful ending too, simply not worth it.

Trick 'R' Treat - 2008 * * * *

Poison, drowning, claw or knife, so many ways to take a life.

I had a feeling I was going to love this before I watched it and my hunch turned out to be right.

Trick 'r' treat follows 4 stories that are in some way connected to each other, all based around Halloween. I love how you finish watching one story and the end locks into the beginning of something at the very start of the film. You will also find yourself saying 'ah, it all falls into place now' a number of times which is always reassuring in a film.

Not giving too much away, my favorite story is about a group of kids who, aware of an old and tragic legend that happened 30 years ago, decide to walk to the outskirts of the town to see the spot where 'it happened.' What follows next actually scared me quite a bit.

There is an undertone of black comedy here which I feel is normally essential for a new age, modern American horror film. Whereas British films rely on subtle humor ( i.e. Vincent Price camping it up), Americans get right in there and make everyone chuckle whilst hiding behind the sofa. It's a bizarre experience. It's also worth a watch, or at such a short duration, maybe 2.

City Lights - 1931 * * * *

The little tramp with a big heart.

This is the second Chaplin movie I have seen, the 1st being The Gold Rush which to be honest I didn't think hugely of. I have always had a definite idea that I dislike Chaplin, fearing I suppose that he will become funnier to me than someone like Keaton. However, this film was great, hilarious and had a lovely story to boot, and I now feel like I rather misjudged Chaplin just a bit.

His quirky ways have certainly never been matched since and he is a bit of a genius in coming up with slapstick scenes. ( I adore the continuous relationship between him and the rich alcoholic who greets him as a friend every evening and throws him out of his house every morning).

Chaplin will always be remembered up there as a 'great' and this I'm told is one of his finest. If so I shall make it my duty to watch his others to compare.

PS The ending gives you a nice warm feeling inside although some viewers dislike it immensely.

Educating Rita - 1983 * * * * *

Denny: In my family, a man has only to look at a woman and she's pregnant.

Rita: That's because you're all so cockeyed.

One can't help but fall in love with this film. I always had the idea that it would be a total disappointment and that the idea sounded a bit silly. But then I never realised how much I love Julie Walters until fairly recently and she really stole the show.

Rita lives a boring and unfulfilling life as a hairdresser. Her husband doesn't understand her and is constantly presssuring her to have a baby. Rita however doesn't want a baby 'until she has found herself' which leads to arguments.

She decides to enrol on an Open University Course for literature to better herself all round as a person and thereby meets Frank (Caine), the alcoholic genius who is to be her tutor. And so begins Rita's passionate and total adoration of books and learning.

This film winds up being totally heart-warming and is a wonderful example of how a person can change their life around to make everything better even when they believe there is no hope for them.

Caine is also on top form here as the stuffy academic whose heart often peeks through unexpectedly.