Gone Fishin' - 1997 *

'Gone Fishin' is not a good film. It's not funny, it's got Danny Glover in it (who cannot act for toffee) and it's just all round boring.
Two fishing enthusiasts go on a trip together to Florida and get caught up in a criminal ring when their car is stolen. I think putting these two actors together is a big mistake and I really didn't enjoy it.
Bad.

The Haunted Mansion - 2003 ***

I've never watched a film based around a ride in a theme park before. Quite interesting idea I think.
Jim is brilliant at his job. So much so that it does tend to interfere with the other areas of his life like his marriage and his children.
After missing his wedding anniversary he promises to make it up to his wife by taking the family away for the weekend, which then goes off the rails when they are contacted by the occupants of a scary old mansion, and asked to go there and do business. Arriving in a torrential downpour, they are greeted by the butler and persuaded to stay the night in one of the beautiful rooms. That's when the fun starts...
For a children's movie, this creeped me out quite a bit, and I actually enjoyed it a lot more than I anticipated i would. Murphy is very funny, and his two children are adorable.

Moving - 1988 ****

I think Richard Pryor deserves more credit for being a comedian than he gets. He's extremely funny, and remarkably versatile when it comes to different characters.
The job of a lifetime comes up for Arlo Pear with a big pay rise, more responsibility, and generally everything he could wish for. The only problem with this is that it means moving his family from their comfy home in New Jersey, to the outskirts of Idaho. Not only does he have to deal with his stubborn teenage daughter, who would rather marry a pimp than up sticks with him,, but he also has to coordinate the psychotic neighbour next door who keeps setting his remote controlled plane on him, as well as a group of thuggish furniture movers who break all his possessions and then demand payment for doing so.
I found this a really funny film, and I hadn't heard of it before doing some research on Richard, so it's a bit of a lost gem as well.

Meatballs - 1979 *

Bill Murray (annoying as ever) ruins scene after scene in the worst 'summer camp' movie ever.
Along the way, he embarrasses children, shouts a lot, letches after a fellow worker, plays immature tricks on people, and generally is a giant nuisance to everyone involved. Murray is not a good choice for this role, but then again, who would be?!

(HORROR) Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things - 1972 *

'Children Shouldn't play with Dead Things' is too unfunny to be a comedy, and too unscary to be a horror. It doesn't really fit into one category. There is one thing it is however, and that is ridiculously bad. The quality, both of the acting and of the film itself is dire. The plot is ludicrous ( about zombies and criminals and digging up bodies, all in the worst possible lighting). The director went on to direct 'Black Christmas' which is actually quite a good horror, but also directed 'Porky's' which is a ridiculous 'coming of age' comedy that makes everyone cringe now. It is clear he didn't know which genre to stick with.

Critical Condition - 1987 ***

Richard Pryor movies are always over the top and very silly. Especially the ones where he's paired up with Gene Wilder. He may be 'acting solo' here, but he's still pretty funny. Here he plays Kevin, a con man who is threatened with jail after being caught smuggling jewellery. Desperate to avoid a prison sentence, he pretends that he is insane (the courtroom scene in which he does this is totally improvised, and hilarious) and as a result is carted off to a mental hospital. When he arrives at the hospital a power surge renders the whole place in darkness and without medical equipment and he has to pose as a qualified doctor in order to escape. Escaping isn't so easy however when patients begin to need urgent treatment and he has to jump in and help them, despite not having a clue what he is doing. It's almost slapstick in some ways, but definitely has Pryor's manic, psychotic slant on it.
Funny.

The Big Wedding - 2013 **

Considering the massive stellar cast I was disappointed at this rather unfunny 'comedy' about a motley crew of characters when all congregate together when a relative is getting married. Robert De Niro is the father who has to pretend that he is still happily married to Diane Keaton in order to convince his son's stepmother of the traditional ways of their family. In reality he has been in a relationship with Susan Sarandon for eight years.  What follows are a series of embarrassing moments as the wedding gets closer.
Its moderately okay, but it wasn't as good as I had hoped.

(HORROR) The Last Exorcism Part II - 2013 **

After the pandemonium of the first 'Exorcism' film, this second one follows Nell in the years after her exorcism. Believing that is cured from her past experiences, she takes a job as a chambermaid in a hotel and lives in a girl's home. However, it is not long before she starts experiencing strange things, and a close relationship with a co-worker at the hotel that appears to be going well ends in tragedy.
I didn't enjoy this as much as the first film, and couldn't quite come to grips with Nell as a normal girl in a normal environment.

The Sadist - 1963 *

If it wasn't for the plot, 'The Sadist' would've fallen by the wayside a long time ago. It was notably the first film to be based on Charles Starkweather and Caril Fugate, the loved up couple who went on a killing spree in the late 1950s in Nebraska.
Here we have 'The Sadist' and his moronically monosyllabic girlfriend, holding up three teachers who come into car trouble at an old junkyard. The whole film is basically 'The Sadist' grinning and laughing and pointing a gun at the hostages, while his girlfriend 'Jodeee' sits on a wall merrily swinging her legs and swigging coca cola. The Sadist appears to be cross-eyed, as well as sporting a crop of remarkable 'Beach Boyesque' floppy hair so his whole appearance is all the more terrifying. If he's trying to portray James Dean, he's failing miserably.

(HORROR) The Resident - 2011 ***

Tough, no nonsense Hilary Swank stars as Juliet, a young woman who moves into what she believes is her perfect apartment after breaking up with her cheating boyfriend, but soon starts to believe that she is being stalked by somebody close by. At the same time, Max, the man she is renting the apartment from begins to make his feelings for her known, and the couple get closer. But there is something wrong, and when Juliet decides to start seeing her ex-boyfriend again, Max is not happy. Not happy at all.
I quite liked this, but found it dragged on a bit after the first hour or so. It was quite predictable and that might be what made my mind wander towards the end. Still a good watch though.

Labor Pains - 2009 ***

Mildly amusing comedy about a young woman named Thea who fakes a pregnancy to stop herself from getting fired from her horrible boss.
Lindsay Lohan isn't a bad actress (it is after all what she became famous for years ago) and walking around pretending you are pregnant for the whole film isn't the easiest thing to do.
As time goes by, Thea gets caught up in the lie of being pregnant, and even starts to have feelings for a co-worker who takes pity on her when she splits up with her 'fiance'.
It's not going to win any awards, but it's still quite funny, and worth a watch.

Working Girl - 1988 ***

'Working Girl' seems to be a bit of an excuse to try and "big up" women in the workplace. It seems to try far too hard to defend how hard women have it, but comes across as a bit desperate. 

Griffith plays Tess, a woman who goes from one job to the next and finally stumbles on what she thinks is her dream position working for the professional Katherine Parker. However the dream is short lived when Katherine goes off sick and Tess discovers that she has been trying to land a deal using one of her ideas as her own. 

Get mad? Or get even? 

Harrison Ford is quite amusing, but I think the standout character is Joan Cusack who quite literally steals each scene she shares with Griffith. 

I didn't mind the film, but it definitely doesn't rank amoung the best rom-coms I've seen.

Blue Jasmine - 2013 ***

I have a soft spot for Woody Allen, and therefore despite this film being slated beyond compare I thought it was okay. Granted it was nothing like 'Midnight in Paris' but that's one of my favourite films directed by him.

Cate Blanchett does an astoundingly good job as a 'fallen' Park Lane society beauty named Jasmine, who flees to her sister Ginger's 'modest' abode in San Francisco after her wealthy husband's sudden death. Here she must contend with (in her eyes) her intellectually inferior sister and her 'loser' of a boyfriend, whilst also trying to come up with a way to make some money so she can pay for an online interior decorating course. Blanchett is at times completely loopy, talking to herself in the street, having constant panic attacks and snobbishly looking down her nose at anyone who is not from her background. There is obvious tension between her and Ginger, and I think Sally Hawkins is an ideal choice. 

As usual, the music is brilliant and the cinematography is on top form. As long as Woody is around directing films I will be gobbling them up.

Filth - 2013 ***

'Filth' is a bit of a conundrum. James McAvoy is literally acting his heart out (he can even vomit on que) and going for gold here, but even so, it comes across as a bit of a dirty film. Not dirty as in rude (although there is plenty of sex to placate any hardcore fan) but dirty as in unkempt and uncared for.

McAvoy plays a womanizing, chauvinistic, alcoholic Detective in Edinburgh, who spends his days playing 'pranks' on colleagues (including defaming their character on the bathroom wall), drinking, getting high, sleeping with anything that moves, and generally being a manipulative and unpleasant bastard. 

Hoping to move up the corporate scale, he is assigned a murder case, but becoming increasingly detached and hallucinatory as time goes by until he (and we the audience) have no idea what is real and what is fantasy. As the film progresses we learn some disturbing secrets about him, and the lengths he will go to hide them from everyone. 

I can't say I hated the film. It was entertaining, and I commend James on a very difficult and uncomfortable role. But it's certainly not a film to watch unless you specifically want to feel unnerved and awkward.

Rage - 2009 **

The only highlight from 'Rage' is Jude Law sporting a dress, a wig and a bizarre Russian accent.
'Rage' is simply scene after scene of characters involved in the fashion industry talking to an unknown interviewer who is filming them on his phone.
It starts off well, and it's a unique idea for a film, but after half an hour or so it just becomes a drag. Most of the actors are well known and it's a shame that they don't have much of a platform to really act on. I had gone to watch this primarily for Lily Cole but found she could barely do anything with what she had.

(HORROR) The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) - 2013 *

The thing with these films is that they are meant to be gruesome. There's not escaping it. They are based around a vile topic, and there is no way of covering it up.
The first film was hideous, but at least it was original, whereas this sequel was an utter shambles.
A psychotic loaner is obsessed with the first film, so much so that he decides to recreate the picture, frame by frame. To do this he entices some people to an empty building and kidnaps others.
The rest of the film is about how he tries to replicate the first 'Human Centipede' but fails horrifically.
No point in watching this whatsoever.

Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa 2013 ****

One of the other posters for this has '24 hours, 1 Partridge' on it. This just about sums the film up. There is only one Alan Partridge, and here he is, being forced into the task of liaising with one of his fellow DJ's Paddy who is holding North Norfolk Digital under siege after being 'let go' due to poor ratings. As Alan is the only person Paddy will communicate with, it is up to him to try and save the day (and the hostages) whilst maintaining his professional exterior.
Alan is a bit useless to be honest, he gets himself in more trouble trying to outdo his mentally deranged friend than any normal person would. He falls out a window with his trousers down, fantasises about becoming Jason Statham, and shows his genitals to the paparazzi.
It was very weird watching Alan without the canned laughter, and I must say I missed it a bit. It wasn't constantly funny like the series is either but then again it's obviously difficult to maintain 'funny' for an hour and a half.
Michael is there, and Lynn of course, but they have both aged drastically, which is strange, because Alan looks almost identical. (If my memory serves me correctly, wasn't he nearly fifty in the 1990s TV show?!)
Anyway, there are some classic moments, and really, it's a funny film.
Watch if you are a fan of 'The Partridge.'

Stalking Laura - 1993 ****

I only found out after I had finished watching this that it was based on a true event from the 80s. That's always going to freak me out a lot more than normal, especially with my current circumstances.
Laura Black lands a lucrative job in a company that she adores. On her first day she meets a friendly but strange man named Richard. Laura sees them as just work colleagues, but Richard is convinced they are not only going out, but are meant to be together forever.
Brooke Shields does a good job here with a decent script, and Richard Thomas is terrifying as the unhinged stalker.
After the true case occurred, there was a new anti-stalking law passed. That at least, is something.

Eye of the Stalker - 1995 ****

'Eye of the Stalker' is a suitably creepy film from the nineties. It is estimated that 5% of the female population in America will be stalked at some point during their lifetime, and this is one of the stories.
A young art student named Beth becomes the obsession of a disturbed individual named Stephen who catches sight of her at the University he teaches (the same one she attends). Once he has her in his sights he becomes fixated on her every move and begins to intrude on her life and try to split up her relationship with her boyfriend. With many stalkers, 'no' is not in their vocabulary, so when he is told to stay away from her by her mother (a prominent judge in the area) it only serves to ignite his intense feelings for her.
It's a scary film, and I think stalking is a very real and very terrifying problem that needs to be stamped out as soon as possible.

Rio - 2011 ***

'Rio' is quite a risqué film in that it shows off Rio De Janeiro in a slightly different way to how it actually is. It's also a bit of a strange topic in that it showcases a macaw bird as it's lead star (although I suppose 'Finding Nemo' was based around a fish). The bird, affirmably named Blu, cannot fly, and ends up being kidnapped from his human owner and taken to Rio. There, he meets a cast of eccentric characters including a female macaw named Jewel who he takes a shine to when they are both confined to the same cage.
It's quite a sweet film, with a couple of funky songs, but it's probably not one that I would see again.