Saturday, March 08, 2014
Stunningly bad horror where nothing much happens except lots of bad acting and stupid murders. If Sharon Stone was put in this to boost ratings it failed miserably. One scene involving a spider stands out. Horrible cyanotype style filter made the film even worse.
Monday, March 03, 2014
'Loser' is one of the group of 'old school' rom-coms that was very popular in 2000.
Jason Biggs and Mena Suvari seem to have disappeared into obscurity now, but were immensely popular at the end of the 1990s.
Here, Biggs plays Paul, a nerdy but dedicated student working hard to get a scholarship who falls in love with Dora, a quirky yet troubled student who is finding it hard to make ends meet in her financially, as well as keeping her relationship with her college lecturer quiet.
I liked it, although usually Jason Biggs is too much to bare.
Stiller is Zoolander, a vain and narcissistic male model who constantly rivals Hansel (Wilson) in the 'top model' stakes. At his latest award show, Hansel steals the title of 'Best Model' from Zoolander, mortifying him, and sending him into hiding (a mean article in the local paper by journalist Matilda doesn't help matters.)
Meanwhile, Mugatu, a prolific fashion mogul, (played campishly by Will Ferrell) decides that he needs to recruit a male model to assassinate the Prime Minister of Malaysia who is trying to put a ban on cheap child labour.
Before long, Zoolander is in the firing line as a possible assassin and can only save himself by recruiting his arch nemisis Hansel.
Rather over the top film, but packed full of humor and quirky moments (it is obvious that Stiller and Wilson are best friends off set, because their chemistry is spot on). Must see.
Sunday, March 02, 2014
Mel Gibson's ponytail is ridiculous. I thought he was supposed to be a 90s pinup!
When Rick is given a new identity by the FBI witness protection programme, he happens to bump into his ex girlfriend Marianne. She demands that she go on the run with him after finding out that Rick is still in danger from drug addicts about to be released from jail. Some funny moments, and not a bad film, but wasn't anything special.
A bit of a disaster. A new family move to a quiet house in the country to raise their child, but almost immediately find they are seeing apparitions of a bloody woman in rooms, outside and in cupboards. Because of this, sleep becomes a distant memory. This slowly drives a wedge between the couple and they begin to turn on each other, not knowing what is real and what is hallucination.
Sounds like it might be quite good, but actually it has as many holes as a fishing net.
Oh good lord. This was (obviously) not going to be a good film. It's horrendously acted, horrendously shot, and to make matters worse,there is a rumour circulating that the directors and writers at the Sci-Fi channel sat around and took out 2 pieces of paper out of a hat of random words; these two words had to be made into a film, hence 'Ghost Shark.'
I feel a bit sorry for the ghost shark, partly because it looks like a CGI luminous nightmare, and partly because it has to share screen time with a load of morons who couldn't act if their lives depended on it.
To say this film had a particularly ugly cast was a gross understatement.
Relatively unknown comedy with Martin Lawrence as an experienced thief named Kevin, who meets his match when trying to burgle rich and crooked tycoon Max (Devito). In return for being burgled by Kevin, Max ends up stealing a precious ring that Kevin was given by his new girlfriend Amber. Desperate to get it back, Kevin enters into a cat and mouse game with Max, with hilarious results.
I like both Lawrence and Devito as actors, so it was quite a pleasure to watch them both try to outsmart each other with their individual styles of comedy.
'Little Nicky' is a completely radical film. It's really funny, but also edgy and dark. Obviously you can't take it seriously. Adam Sandler is infuriating, but somehow the messed up, half devil half angel character he portrays actually suits him. His father is the devil, busy ruling hell with a fair but firm hand. When Nicky's two brothers escape through hellfire up to earth, it is Nicky's job to capture them and bring them back. His father meanwhile, is losing body parts in rapid time, and will eventually die if his sons are not returned.
Some parts are hilarious (I liked the superbowl scene) and Nicky's pal Beefy, a humorous and sarcastic pug adds other funny segments.
Tarantino of course is the standout as the blind preacher Deacon who keeps finding himself falling down stairs, knocking himself out on streetlamps and tripping over tramps in an effort to get away from a strange, evil presence that appears frequently.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
A young woman starts a night cleaning job at a mental institution in Amityville, unaware that the hospital has been built on the Amityville house site. Horrific things happen.
Its quite a stupid film, deeply unscary and badly acted.
'Bad Grandpa' must not be taken seriously. It would be pointless too really, as most of the scenes are so ridiculous and over the top that it would spoil it if you saw it as anything other than a joke. Johnny Knoxville plays the ludicrous but likeable Grandpa Irving who is dealt the task of taking his grandson Billy to stay with his father while his mother is on jail. This takes them both on a road trip of epic proportions (to be honest I'm amazed that he isn't arrested for some of the things he does) and a hilarious climax involving a children's pageant brings it all to a farcical close.
Funny, and silly.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Another surprisingly good political thriller, the kind that really gets under your skin. Added to which, the fact it's based on true events gives it even more of a kick.
Ryan Phillippe is a junior employee of the Washington Bureau named Eric who is assigned to keep an eye on an intelligence agent named Hanssen who has been reassigned to the FBI headquarters. At first Eric believes he is doing nothing other than checking out Hanssen in case he displays sexual perversions, but soon finds out that Hanssen is a lot more dangerous to the FBI than he first imagined.
Well crafted and enjoyable, although could've been a bit shorter in length.
'Gravity' has an exceedingly good premise - an astronaut and engineer find themselves separated from the shuttle they are working on, and are stuck in space with barely no oxygen and no contact whatsoever with anyone. The acting is excellent, and I'm surprised to say that Clooney and Bullock workvery well together. It's brilliantly designed too, to such an extent that after a while the idea of floating in space can give you a serious bout of nausea.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
William Friese Green is a pretty fascinating character. Besotted with his work to the point of obsession, he was willing to break up his family, declare himself bankrupt and sell his house, also that he could continue with his experiments of moving pictures. That said however, he was also one of the most unsung geniuses of the 19the century. It is very tragic that his talent was not recognised until after his death.
Robert Donat is perfect for the part, and I find him immensely watchable in this character, both for positive and negative reasons. His passion for his craft is clear to see, but in some aspects he is completely deluded and unresponsive (such as not paying bills because the money needs to go on equipment for his experiments). I do feel awfully sorry for him though, because no one would give him a chance to show what he could do.
I can't say I was particularly excited by this, despite having Steve Coogan and Judi Dench topping the bill. Dench befriends Coogan, a weary reporter who believes he can find her missing son who was taken from her when she was a young girl living in a convent in the 1950s.
The trip brings trials and tribulations, but most importantly it brings friendship between the two. It's not funny in the slightest in my opinion, and doesn't give either of the players the correct platform on which to perform.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Gripping movie about a young woman named Lily who tries to live a normal life whilst being slowly smothered by her mother at home. The mother cannot stand the idea of her daughter having any sort of life, especially if it involves a man.
When Lily starts a relationship with a man from work her mother will do anything to stop it happening, whatever the costs.
Worth a watch.
Trying to justify this film is a waste of time. Its a pointless film about pointless people. It shows the world for the bleak place it is. Four girls, desperate to go on spring break but unable to secure the funds to do so end up holding up a store at gunpoint. The partying, casual sex and smoking goes ahead but only for a limited time as the girls are soon arrested for their crimes and only saved when a dangerous drug addict named 'Alien' bails them out.
This film basically highlights what is wrong with America and society in general. Awful film.
One of those films that I hoped would be good but was awfully let down by.Melissa McCarthy is infuriating as the carefree woman who steals Jason Bateman's identity and has a fantastic time doing so. Bateman loses his job as a result of this and decides to track her down to get her arrested. McCarthy just oozes stupidity, even when designing fake credit cards in bright blue eye-shadow.
She's just a massive joke of a character, completely unrepentant for her actions, resulting in feeling constant sympathy for Bateman . I also spent most of the movie feeling quite annoyed that the subject of identity theft was taken as such a joke when it's not.
Saturday, February 08, 2014
I have a soft spot for Woody Allen, and therefore despite this film being slated beyond compare I thought it was okay. Granted it was nothing like 'Midnight in Paris' but that's one of my favourite films directed by him.
Cate Blanchett does an astoundingly good job as a 'fallen' Park Lane society beauty named Jasmine, who flees to her sister Ginger's 'modest' abode in San Francisco after her wealthy husband's sudden death. Here she must contend with (in her eyes) her intellectually inferior sister and her 'loser' of a boyfriend, whilst also trying to come up with a way to make some money so she can pay for an online interior decorating course. Blanchett is at times completely loopy, talking to herself in the street, having constant panic attacks and snobbishly looking down her nose at anyone who is not from her background. There is obvious tension between her and Ginger, and I think Sally Hawkins is an ideal choice.
As usual, the music is brilliant and the cinematography is on top form. As long as Woody is around directing films I will be gobbling them up.
'Filth' is a bit of a conundrum. James McAvoy is literally acting his heart out (he can even vomit on que) and going for gold here, but even so, it comes across as a bit of a dirty film. Not dirty as in rude (although there is plenty of sex to placate any hardcore fan) but dirty as in unkempt and uncared for.
McAvoy plays a womanizing, chauvinistic, alcoholic Detective in Edinburgh, who spends his days playing 'pranks' on colleagues (including defaming their character on the bathroom wall), drinking, getting high, sleeping with anything that moves, and generally being a manipulative and unpleasant bastard.
Hoping to move up the corporate scale, he is assigned a murder case, but becoming increasingly detached and hallucinatory as time goes by until he (and we the audience) have no idea what is real and what is fantasy. As the film progresses we learn some disturbing secrets about him, and the lengths he will go to hide them from everyone.
I can't say I hated the film. It was entertaining, and I commend James on a very difficult and uncomfortable role. But it's certainly not a film to watch unless you specifically want to feel unnerved and awkward.
Saturday, February 01, 2014
Well National Lampoon seems to be heading for a permanent fall. This was just another shocking attempt at comedy that was as funny as a hernia.
The idea of a film about making a film (oh, and it's chokablok full of perverted jokes) has been done before so wasn't really a treat. The actors all looked like this was their last chance at fame before they got a 'normal' job, and to be honest I'm amazed this was even given DVD release. Horrendous.
Pretty laughable horror film about a girl named Tamara who is picked on by her classmates and tragically buried alive by them one evening. The next morning she is shockingly back at school, but this time looking completely different and utterly irresistible to all men. It's just a bit of a stupid movie.
Another awful horror film. A deranged lunatic kidnaps young women on the first day of spring every year as a pagan/sadistic ritual. At the same time a completely unrelated sub plot is taking place between a husband and wife who are having financial trouble. It's ghastly.
Saturday, January 25, 2014
'Scenes from a Marriage' is many things. Bleak, desolate, depressing, positive, hopeful, heartbreaking. But the thing that stands out most about it is how powerful and interesting it actually is. Weighing in at nearly three hours long, and originally broadcast as a mini series, it could be accused of being heavy.
Ingmar Bergman again focuses on the emotions and character development as opposes to a strong narrative.
It's intense, and the whole film revolves around a couple's disintegrating marriage. Things start off well, with the couple seemingly happy, but then put of the blue the husband returns from a trip to Europe to say that he has fallen in love with a younger woman. He leaves to be with her, then comes back six months later.
Both characters are incredibly unlikeable, the husband, thoughtless and chauvinistic and the wife, pathetic and desperate. (When the man goes to leave his wife, instead of begging her forgiveness, he insults and criticises her and lists all the reasons he hates her, dhe in turn apologises to him and offers to help him pack!)
Whether the film reaches a conclusion is really up to the individual viewer. The pair don't seem to be able to live with or without each other which seems to make the whole film utterly pointless anyway.
This had surprisingly good reviews for a film about a cannibal so I wasn't too worried about watching it. It turned out however to be nothing like I had imagined. Awful. Diabolical even.
Sawney Bean is a perverted, blood lusting lunatic who captures women on their way back from parties and clubs and cuts them up into little pieces.
The acting was bad. And I didn't get much of a sense of the story which I had been hoping for. It's one of those legends that I don't know much about.
I'll maybe research him a bit more, but by books, not awful horror films.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
When I was about ten I caught a clip on one of my Dad's VHS's of Rita Tushingham running up and down the road telling 'Rayyype' at every possible moment. I never knew what film that clip came from, but not I've seen this, I do.
For a film that is so positively reviewed as me of the 'landmark' films of the 1960s I found it moderately funny, and just a bit silly. Colin, Tolen and Tom share an apartment, but that is about all they have in common. Tolen is a womanising chauvinist while Colin is calm and sensible. Tolen is so narcissistic that he believes he can teach Colin how to hook up with as many women as he does. This is 'The Knack'. Tom is neutral and doesn't really think much about anything.
Nancy is a skittish, frankly infuriating woman who bumps into them whilst they are out trying to purchase a bed and proceeds to take over all three of the men's lives (and apartment). I thought it was too obscure and too 'quirky' for its time, although I quite liked Michael Crawford not yelping 'Bettayyy' at every available moment.
If you want a good 1960's film try something like 'Georgy Girl'.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Steve Coogan doesn't do well in drama. I don't mean to typecast him as someone who can only do Alan Partridge but I just don't find him particularly receptive in films where he can't make me chuckle. Here he plays the kingpin Paul Raymond who builds a business empire in 1960s Soho, introducing the risqué topic of naked and bikini clad women into his cabaret shows. He balances a troubles relationship with his wife and his daughter, and soon becomes infatuated with one of his young, inexperienced girls.
Can't say I thought much of it.
'Sensation Hunters' doesn't particularly stand out, although it was apparently good enough for a remake to be made 10+ years later.
A woman named Dale is taken under the wing of the aristocratic first class passengers of a Pacific liner, but is soon outed as a cabaret girl and shunned by society.
It wasn't bad, and Arline Judge is quite good in her part.
What is this film? What is the point of it? A woman moves into a house in a nice neighborhood and proceeds to go about murdering people who get in her way. People seem to be rating this highly, but why I have no idea.
Please don't waste your time.
Very slow film about a quiet boy who pretends to be going on a week long school skiing trip and instead spends the week in his mother's basement with his favourite food and books.His tranquility is disturbed by the arrival of his stepsister who is in the middle of coming off drugs and needs a place to crash.
It's not much of a film, and the lead actor is incredibly annoying and uncommunicative.
The only highlight from 'Rage' is Jude Law sporting a dress, a wig and a bizarre Russian accent.
'Rage' is simply scene after scene of characters involved in the fashion industry talking to an unknown interviewer who is filming them on his phone.
It starts off well, and it's a unique idea for a film, but after half an hour or so it just becomes a drag. Most of the actors are well known and it's a shame that they don't have much of a platform to really act on. I had gone to watch this primarily for Lily Cole but found she could barely do anything with what she had.
Friday, January 10, 2014
I never knew Tim Roth could do funny, but here he is, playing a frazzled bellboy at a hotel on New Year's Eve to a variety of witty, surprising and downright hilarious guests. There are four segments, each focuses on a different room and a different variety of guests, but all involve Theodore 'Ted' who feels himself getting slowly madder as the night goes on.
Quentin Tarantino, Bruce Willis, Madonna and Antonio Banderas all make appearances.
Thursday, January 09, 2014
I would expect anyone with an ounce of a brain to approach this with trepidation after seeing Zac Efron's name on the poster.
Seriously, I haven't seen anything like this ever before, but it was amazing. I really loved it. It sort of reminded me of 'In the Heat of the Night'. In many scenes you can almost feel the heat and sweat dripping off the characters. Nicole Kidman was the standout performance here although I must say (and I'm going to get shot for saying this) but Zac Efron wasn't as bad as I thought he was going to be. The story revolves around John Cusack's character who is languishing in jail after being found guilty of murder. Nicole Kidman is his adoring but spunky pen pal, who, believing that he is innocent, teams up with two reporters to try and investigate the story and ultimately clear his name.
Kidman's makeup is fantastic, and her character is so gutsy and savvy that she becomes the centre of Efron's infatuation.
This is a brilliant film. Kudos to director Lee Daniels for coming up with such an excellent end result.
There seems to be a fascination with older women being seduced by younger men in American films. It's very odd. And I suppose this wasn't a bad film as cheesy films go, and the plot didn't rot my brain any more than usual. A couple of Yale graduates decide that they will be be able to earn lots of money hosting exclusive parties that only members of the expensive 'Cougar Club' can attend. It all backfires of course, but is still fairly funny.
Wednesday, January 08, 2014
'Cattle Call' is no exception. It's quite literally horrendous with such an embarrassing story that it will make you weep. The idea of 'auditioning' women to be your girlfriend without them knowing just really annoyed me! It seemed utterly sexist and chauvinistic. It wasn't funny either.
Certain scenes were good, but nothing topped the original shower scene or the prom one. Maybe too tame? Either way, it's best to see the original and maybe watch this only if nothing else is available.
'You're Next' tries to follow in the footsteps of successful "home invasion" films such as 'The Strangers' and Funny Games' but just doesn't work. The whole idea of the film, and the 'surprise twist' towards the end are simply pointless, and do little to enhance what is already a bit of a mish-mash.
A group of relatives all spend the evening at the large house owned by one of them.
Throughout the night they are harassed and terrified by a group of masked villains who try to get inside the house, and cut off all outside contact for the trapped people inside.
It sounds good but it's not, the acting is atrocious, and the motives and opinions of the family are just dire.
She plays Ernessa, a mysterious girl who turns up at an all girls boarding school and gradually integrates herself into the middle of a close friendship between two girls. Ernessa isn't all that she seems however, and before long she is threatening the close bond the two girls already have.
I enjoyed the film a lot, found it tense, and found the Marina and the Diamonds track 'Numb' at the end summed up the whole ethereal quality of the film.
Saturday, January 04, 2014
Was a bit hesitant about watching this especially seeing Kris Marshall. He's generally far too over the top for me, but he actually worked here. He meshed well with the other characters - the do holder groom, the hopeless manic depressive friend, and the 'heading for trouble wherever he goes' pal. Olivia Newton-John didn't stand out, but it didn't matter. Some hilarious head trippy scenes ensue,including a gay drug dealer and a cocaine smuggling goat, and it was worth the ride.
Genuinely scary creature feature about a group of tourists experiencing a boat tour in Australia and becoming stranded after a terrifyingly giant crocodile knocks their vessel to shore. They then have to try and manoeuvre themselves to safety on the other side of the river without going anywhere near the water. I was surprised and impressed with this (except for the reactions of the tourists when their loved ones are ripped to bits which was pretty bad.
I found this pretty funny to be honest. I've come to realise that american comedy usually goes out its way to objectify women and we have to contend with shot after shot of breasts, arses and fake tan. Instead of moaning about it I may as well just try and grasp what humour there is in the selected film.
This movie is very like that, except most of the shots are cheerleader related as two stupid but loveable jocks find themselves in the centre of a cheerleading squad. It was good.
Infuriating movie about a wife and mother who falls prey to a dangerous individual who leads a cult. Nora begins having agonising back and head pain and goes to see a 'new age' doctor who she believes will cure her. What she doesn't realise is that his deep meditation techniques are actually infiltrating her deepest subconscious and changing her way of thinking towards her family and her life.
Its very frustrating seeing someone being brainwashed with absolutely no control.
Thursday, January 02, 2014
Wednesday, January 01, 2014
A sort of poor version of 'Final Destination' where each main character is doomed and cannot cheat death that comes in the form of a dragonfly.
In Spain a group of friends stumble upon an eerie board game of Mambo, which curses all who play it. None of them believe it however, and of course horrific things start happening. Pretty poor offering really, even with the beautiful Eliza Dushku.
Not a bad film, rather humorous. About three guys in dead end jobs who decide to go Aspen to flirt with, and hopefully sleep with as many 'cougars' as possible.
Its your typical American idiotic men storyline, but its still quite funny.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Tragic story about a teenage girl whose life is destroyed after a tape of her having sex with a boy from school is spread around the whole institution. The boy in question films the encounter but is not the one who forwards it to everyone, that person in question has a much darker agenda.
I enjoyed it, but it also genuinely shocked me.
A group of friends plan one last unforgettable party at the massive house of their friend. Things turn crazy when they decide that the theme of the party is to be an orgy. Its actually quite a funny film, but typical of what you would expect from the hundreds of 'party' movies that come from America.