Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Betrayed at 17 - 2011 ****



Tragic story about a teenage girl whose life is destroyed after a tape of her having sex with a boy from school is spread around the whole institution. The boy in question films the encounter but is not the one who forwards it to everyone, that person in question has a much darker agenda.
I enjoyed it, but it also genuinely shocked me.



Vegas, Baby - 2006 ***


Ok, I was surprised by this. It was quite funny for a bachelor party film. A group of friends head to Las Vegas to throw their friend a bachelor party and end up being chased by gangsters in search of stolen money. Not bad at all really.

A Good Old Fashioned Orgy - 2011 ***


A group of friends plan one last unforgettable party at the massive house of their friend. Things turn crazy when they decide that the theme of the party is to be an orgy. Its actually quite a funny film, but typical of what you would expect from the hundreds of 'party' movies that come from America.

Deadly Matrimony - 1992 **


A gentle woman named Diane marries a businessman who is part of an organised crime racket. He starts to abuse and mistreat her eventually murdering her. It is up to the police to convict him of the crime.
Horrible story. B

Mardi Gras: Spring Break- 2011 ***


Carmen Electra doesn't appear to have actually been in a decent film. Her name appears on a film and the male population goes wild. In this film the director hasn't even bothered to give her a character name, so she plays herself. Brilliant. Three guys go to New Orleans to experience the best Mardi Gras celebrations ever (supposedly) and bump into Carmen Electra. It's quite amusing.

Monday, December 30, 2013

The Lost Moment - 1947 ****


A very overlooked film barely ever mentioned in annuals nowadays.
Cummings plays a publisher desperate to get his hands on love letters written by a deceased writer. He carefully ingratiates himself into the house of the widow and her great niece, hoping to be able to  steal the letters for himself. Things aren't simple however when it turns up that the great niece Tina has a schizophrenic nature resulting in her frequently believing she is the rightful recipient of the love letters. Its a beautifully haunting movie very like 'Rebecca'.



The Ex - 1997 ***


It's quite bizarre that Yancy Butler has actually been in serious trouble with the police in real life. It sort of adds to her downright terrifying character. Here she plays a psychotic ex wife who cannot accept that her husband has moved on and married someone else despite years of being in a mental institution. Its actually quite scary how unhinged she is.

(HORROR) Citadel - 2012 *


'Citadel' has to be one of the worst horror films I have seen in recent times. The acting is actually appalling and the story is ridiculous. After losing his wife in a horrific attack by a group of feral children, the puny husband meets a priest who tells him that the children are after his baby and that they have to put a stop to them. Its just awful.

Someone to Love Me - 1998 ****


A sweet but troubled teenager is brutally raped by a fellow student but cannot get anyone to believe her when it comes to light that she has not only slept with him before but has a bit of a promiscuous past which can be used against her if the trial goes to court. Interesting to see how teenagers clump together in bad times even if it means covering up their friends' horrendous acts.

Every Mother's Worst Fear - 1998 **


Cheryl Ladd plays an anguished mother who has to deal with the fact that her daughter has been kidnapped by a paedophile that she started talking to online. Its one of those really terrifying films where you keep saying 'that could really happen'.

Escape from Terror: The Teresa Stamper Story - 1995 **


Teresa Walden is a young and impressionable woman who is swept off her feet by a charming mechanic. Little by little he abuses and mistreats her, even going so far as to shoot and kill her new boyfriend. Making friends with the local kids, they all have the same idea - to kill her husband.
Sad to watch.

Why My Daughter? - 1993 **


Based on the true story of a mother working tirelessly to avenge the death of her daughter Diana who was dragged into the seedy world of prostitution by her boyfriend - turned pimp. Very gritty and painful to watch. The actress playing the mother is pretty irritating however.

Phone Call From a Stranger - 1952 ***


Actually quite a well structured and formulated plot. A man who survives a plane crash decides to call the relatives of the three friends he made on the fateful flight. Each story is interesting and concise. Bette Davis is great as the paralysed widow towards the end, although the star of the show is really Shelley Winters, as the balsy, doomed aspiring actress.

(HORROR) Demons Never Die - 2011 *




Firstly, what is Tulisa doing in a film? She has as much talent as a table leg. The poster is misleading, making out that she has a bigger part than she does. I don't think it will upset too many people when I say (*spoiler*) that she is the first to die horribly.
When her death is announced at school, a group of students, all intent on committing suicide, decide they have to act quickly so that they can also 'go out all guns blazing' so to speak. The whole story is like some nightmarish "Kidulthood" where teens spend days either being bumped off by a deranged psycho in a Darth Vader style mask or wandering around planning whether they want to jump off a building or not. Then there is the added 'love story' that takes shape between two of the weirdest students. The girl proclaiming proudly that at 17 she is still a virgin and likes being one, before yanking the guy up from his seat and dragging him home to have a long drawn out and frankly embarrassing sex scene.
Much more hilariously bad acting follows, including a hideous game of twister where all the drunk teens roll around on top of each other  whilst downing huge bottles of vodka. Accompany this with the wonderful music from, you guessed it, Tulisa, screeching her heart out and you have this film.

Friday, December 27, 2013

Shameful Secrets - 1993 ***


One of those films that makes you mad. Mad because in this day and age, it seems almost impossible to charge a man even if he has been beating up his wife and terrifying his children. This is the situation for a devoted wife and her two children who become victims of the husband's unpredictable anger and violence. One evening she makes the brave decision to leave him, but he's not giving in to get or giving the children back without a fight. Painfully real.

Her Final Fury: Betty Broderick - The Last Chapter - 1992 **



The follow up to the story of scorned housewife who murders her husband and his new wife. This film chronicles Betty's court cases and her life in jail. Not as good as the first one but you still get snapshots of the previous sequences that led up to the murders.

Liar Liar: Between Father and Daughter - 1993 **


A young girl accuses her father of molesting her but no one believes her.  The case ends up in court and gradually piece by piece, the story comes out. Hard hitting stuff, always difficult to watch films on child abuse.

A Woman Scorned: The Betty Broderick Story - 1992 ***


A true story that spawned a sequel, the decline of housewife Betty Broderick who, after years of marriage to her childhood sweetheart, is traded in for a younger model when he husband leaves her for his twenty-something assistant. Scorned and unwilling to be left behind, Betty engineers a series of episodes designed to infuriate and embarrass her husband. When these don't work, she decides to go one step further, with horrific consequences.

Fraternity Vacation - 1985 **


A low budget romp about what teens get up to on vacation when surrounded by beautiful, bikini clad women. 2 friends bet a rival pair of friends that they can bed lovely Ashley Taylor (the stunner from across the way) by the end of the holiday. What happens surprises everyone.
Not a bad film, although there are many more teen holiday flicks that can be rated higher.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop - 2009 ***


However funny the film itself is, Kevin James is just a based presence in a comedy. Blart is useless at everything except being a security guard, and even that doesn't go very well. When the mall comes under attack from a siege, it's up to Blart to save the day, and the new woman in his life.
Could have been funnier if we weren't stuck with Kevin James and his 'woe is me' personality which he plays identically in every film.

(HORROR) Black Rock - 2013 *


'Black Rock' is a ridiculously poorly executed mess of bad acting, irritating characters  and a laughable story. As soon as you hear Kate Bosworth's dulcet tones announcing that she doesn't in fact have cancer like she pretended she did, and that she only said as much to get her two loggerhead friends to come along on holiday with her, you sort of realise the movie won't get any better. And it doesn't. l

Thursday, December 26, 2013

When Husbands Cheat - 1998 ***


A private investigator who uncovers her friend's husband's infidelity soon becomes suspicious of her own husband when he started behaving oddly and working late at the office.
This is a good film, and one that probably resonates with lots of women.

Stalking Back - 1993 ***


A happy, fourteen year old girl becomes the target of a twenty-something mentally imbalanced man who coaches her for softball. Unable to do anything to stop him, the mother becomes embroiled in a battle with the police, determined to put a stop to it.
I enjoyed it.

A Dangerous Affair - 1995


A successful and independent woman begins a short fling with a man she believes is the one. After a while she cannot stand how controlling and paranoid he is and decides to end things. The man is not willing to let her go so easily and sets about trying to win her back, even if it means stalking her to within an inch of her life.
Well acted. Powerful.

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

She Cried No - 1996 ***





A young freshman is date raped at her first frat party by the most popular 'jock' at school  and vows not to go quietly without letting people know what sort of person the rapist is.
Its quite a powerful film about a topic that is sadly all too common in today's society of overindulgence and sexual freethinking.

Deceived by Trust - 1995 ***





A young student confides to her guidance counsellor that her headmaster has been sexually abusing her.
Despite the counsellor's best efforts, the student is transferred to another school and the headmaster is let off with a metaphorical slap on the wrist.
To make matters worse, the student then recants her story leaving the counsellor to fight the battle for her alone, and many people automatically take the headmaster's side.
I enjoyed this and found it was extremely well acted.

Stalked at 17 - 2012 ***




A young student named Angela begins a relationship with an older good looking man named Chad. Things start well, but as time goes by, Chad becomes more and more controlling towards Angela, especially when she finds out that she is pregnant. Her parents are disgusted, especially because of Chad's age.
Angela is content to let Chad go, but Chad has other ideas.
Quite hard to watch, but even so, worth a look.

(HORROR) Twixt - 2011 **





'Twixt' is a veritable head trip. Val Kilmer is past it in more ways than one, and plonking him in these bizarre horror films is a complete waste of time. Kilmer plays a writer specialising in horror related literature. After being approached by the local sheriff of the town that he finds himself passing through, he finds himself caught up in a nightmare of epic and surreal proportions. I get where Coppola is coming from, but I didn't think this worked as a film at all.

(HORROR) The Frighteners - 1996 **





'The Frighteners' is a very silly film. You can tell its an early Peter Jackson vehicle which shouldn't be taken very seriously. Michael J Fox plays a widowed architect who develops psychic powers after his wife is killed. This enables him to speak and listen to all the spirits floating around and at first he uses his powers to con people out of money, then has second thoughts when he begins to be haunted by a terrifying mass murderer.
A bit of fun, but there is no way it can be placed in the same annuals as Jackson's masterpieces.

Lies of the Heart - 1994 ***






Follows the true story of Laurie Kellogg, a young and naive teen who falls in love with an abusive and controlling man. As the years go by, the abuse continues and increases until Laurie cannot take it anymore.
An interesting and heartbreaking case about a severely traumatised woman, who has become so reliant on a man that she cannot leave him, even when he physically abuses her.

(HORROR) Grindstone Road - 2007 **




A pretty mediocre film, and not a very scary one at that. A young couple move to a
new house hoping that the wife will recover mentally and emotionally after being in a car crash that
has left her only son in a coma.
Becoming friendly with the kindly, old next door neighbours starts off well, but then turns into something a lot more sinister as the story of a missing child surfaces. Not good and embarrassingly acted.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Willing to Kill - The Texas Cheerleader Story 1992 ** 1/2


Based on the true story of obsessive mother Wanda Holloway who, after becoming desperate for her daughter to qualify in the cheerleading trials, hires a hit man to murder the rival girl's mother. Relentless and hard hitting, this shows what lengths some people will go to come out on top and 'live through their children'. The sad part of this film is that the person who suffered the most was always going to be the daughter.

Night Scream - 1997 *


I made a mistake of assuming that if I liked Candace Cameron Bure in her Lifetime films, then I would like her in something else. This was, pardon my French, bloody stupid. Bure plays Drew, a girl from San Francisco who inexplicably turns up at a small town that she has never been to in a trance and sees what appears to be a portrait of herself in the harbour. Apparently, one year ago, a girl named Laura, who is the splitting image of Drew, was murdered there, supposedly by her boyfriend and the townsfolk are all commemorating this. They are somewhat shocked therefore, to see 'Drew' appear in their midst.
It sounds like it might be good, but it's actually not.

(HORROR) Donner Pass - 2012 **


This was a strange film. Based on the legend of (yes, you've got it) Donner Pass. A place where a group of people were stranded over 150 years ago and forced to eat each other. Fast forward to the present day and you have a group of annoying teenagers (how unusual) who are being targeted by an unknown assailant who appears to want to eat them. (Why are all 'targeted teens' in theses films so unlikeable and stupid?')
I'm all for legends, but when you incorporate it with such ridiculous people and such a dire ending, you realise there is nothing left for horror as a genre to offer.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Dog Soldiers - 2002 **


I'm sorry, but all I saw here was a completely silly and unscary film. Six soldiers, shacked up in an old house overnight, every so often being attacked (through windows, doors, curtains) by a load of werewolves who seem a damn sight more intelligent than the men themselves. One by one is picked off and dies in a disgusting way. The characters are all unlikeable so it didn't bother me whether they died or not. There isn't much more you can do with the story. Oh, except a 'surprise' ending (which isn't actually surprising at all) which may very well wake you up if you have been asleep.

Broken Silence - 1998 ***


Dreadfully raw story that had me gripped, but unfortunately for the acting (especially from Ariana Richards) it left rather a sour taste in my mouth. Ariana's portrayal of Mickey, the running fanatic who becomes the rape victim of her terrifying coach has as much excitement in it as a lump of wood. She shows barely any expression, one way or another on her face, and to be honest, whether something bad or good happens to her you probably wouldn't be able to tell. Story was good, but should've been played by someone who can actually act.

His Private Secretary - 1933 ***


Not a bad offering from John Wayne, showing that he can actually be funny, and not just hover around on a horse in movie after movie.
The first film I have seen Evalyn Knapp in and actually she was quite good. Dick (Wayne) has to prove to his father, his friends, and his potential girlfriend Marion (Knapp) that he is more than just a playboy. His father in particular finds his behaviour disgusting and vows never to employ him again at work, or to accept any relationships that he has. Once he marries Marion, she decides to go undercover as his father's new secretary to gain his trust and win him round for his son's sake.
Quite a sweet, albeit predictable story, I liked it.

A Cat in the Brain - 1990 *


'A Cat in the Brain' is an awful film. Lucio Fulci must be the most 'marmite' of all horror directors as I feel most people would be suitably divided over this. Fulci plays himself, a horror filmmaker who experiences visions and terrifying dreams on and off the set. The film is dreadful, poorly acted, poorly directed and just very bad all over.

Friday, December 06, 2013

Indecent Seduction (For My Daughter's Honor) - 1996 ****


Another hard-hitting true story, this time about a young and innocent 14 year old student who falls for the popular sports coach leading to a disturbing affair.
Gary Cole plays a horrible part, and plays it well. You can never tell if he is on the brink of obsession or whether he's just a pervert intent of luring a young girl into a torrid relationship behind his wife's back.
Nicholle Tom (whom I remember from 'Beethoven') is excellent in her part. You feel frustration, anger and sympathy for her throughout.
A taboo if not familiar story by now.

(NOIR) They Made Me A Killer - 1946 **


This was a really dire film. The quality was awful which didn't help, but there were no credible or standout performances at all.
A young woman sets out to prove a man has been wrongly convicted of armed robbery and murder. In the process she puts her own life at risk from the violent gang who did perform the task.
Miss this.

Thursday, December 05, 2013

(NOIR) A Life at Stake - 1954 **


I always find myself feeling bad if I have a negative review to say about a noir, it's like I'm personally taking a swipe at it. I can't help it here however, as this film doesn't deserve much credit at all. One reviewer called the characters 'cardboard-like' and I have to say that I agree. Angela Lansbury doesn't really have the personality to be a 'femme fatale' and Keith Andes is neither charming or exciting to watch as the lead role. Andes starts an affair with Lansbury after she approaches him with a business proposition involving the purchasing of some land. However, before long he starts to panic that both she and her husband are plotting to kill him, but cannot get anyone to believe him.
The acting isn't brilliant, and the plot is diluted far too much. In short, just not a very good film.

The People Next Door - 1996 ***


I think this film must be every parent's nightmare. You trust your children to someone and they betray you.
Nicollette Sheridan plays struggling single mother Anna, who leaves her abusive husband and moves into a rented property with her three young children. Soon after arriving she befriends the next door neighbours Donna and Garrett to the extent that they sometimes babysit her children when she is doing late shifts at the bars she works in.
After a while however, the couple start to become rather personal, and rather pushy, demanding to look after the children even when Anna wants to have them at home with her. On an outing to the park one day Anna turns her back to purchase tickets to one of the rides for the six of them, and when she looks back finds that Garrett, Donna and two of her children have disappeared.

White House Down - 2013 **** 1/2


A Capitol Police Officer takes his daughter for a tour of the White House and is caught up in a terrifying hostage situation involving the President. Jamie Foxx is very convincing as the President and actually I liked how he had a sense of dry humour but seemed kind and decent as well (apparently they aren't basing this on anyone we know). Channing Tatum normally has as much appeal as a blank wall, but here he really acted his socks off, and comes across as the kind of person who you would want to protect you if you were in power.
I watched this quite soon after 'Olympus Has Fallen' and actually preferred it which I was surprised by. Tatum and Foxx make a good and realistic team.
I liked it, I was gripped, and I thought in general that the graphics and photography were very impressive. Watch this over the former.

Wednesday, December 04, 2013

No One Would Tell - 1996 ***


This was a surprisingly hard hitting movie. I really resonated with the lead star, who falls in love with an abusive guy who treats her hideously but will not let her go.
Stacy is a shy and innocent 16 year old student, who finds herself in a relationship with the school's most popular 'jock' Bobby who appears to take a shine to her.
Thing start off well, and at first Stacy is flattered by Bobby's constant attention. But soon it becomes uncomfortable and his possessiveness leaves a trail of mental and physical abuse behind it. When Stacy's closest friend notices the tell-tail signs of violence on Stacy, she convinces her to break things off. Stacy can't resist going to meet Bobby one more time however...
Tragic waste of life. Based on a true story. Very sad.

(HORROR) The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) - 2013 *


The thing with these films is that they are meant to be gruesome. There's not escaping it. They are based around a vile topic, and there is no way of covering it up.
The first film was hideous, but at least it was original, whereas this sequel was an utter shambles.
A psychotic loaner is obsessed with the first film, so much so that he decides to recreate the picture, frame by frame. To do this he entices some people to an empty building and kidnaps others.
The rest of the film is about how he tries to replicate the first 'Human Centipede' but fails horrifically.
No point in watching this whatsoever.

(HORROR) The Apparition - 2012 *


A couple begin to experience scary and unsettling things in their home which they later find out is the result of a college experiment that has unleashed something very evil into the air.
There is really not a huge amount I can say in favour of this film. Tom Felton from 'Harry Potter' is in it, but that doesn't mean much when you think of how awful the film actually comes across.
Not worth a watch.

Lying Eyes - 1996 ***


This was quite a good storyline. Usually the plots of these Lifetime films follow the same type of formula and I was no different here.
A young and attractive cheerleader becomes the obsession of an older man that she meets at one of her performances. Little does she know that he is married with children, and once their relationship has become intense she also falls prey to an unnamed stalker, intent on cutting the affair off once and for all.
Worth a watch.

(HORROR) When a Killer Calls - 2006 **


You can never expect much from The Asylum film company, after all, they live to make bad films.
This wasn't awful, but when you compare it to 'When a Stranger Calls' (which it is OBVIOUSLY based on) then it just seems a bit of a joke.
A young teen is left to take care of a child as a babysitter while the parents go out for the evening. At first she is pleased to be alone, but soon begins to receive threatening and abusive calls from an unknown number.
I think you can guess the rest so I won't 'spoil' it for you. Not very well acted though.

Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa 2013 ****


One of the other posters for this has '24 hours, 1 Partridge' on it. This just about sums the film up. There is only one Alan Partridge, and here he is, being forced into the task of liaising with one of his fellow DJ's Paddy who is holding North Norfolk Digital under siege after being 'let go' due to poor ratings. As Alan is the only person Paddy will communicate with, it is up to him to try and save the day (and the hostages) whilst maintaining his professional exterior.
Alan is a bit useless to be honest, he gets himself in more trouble trying to outdo his mentally deranged friend than any normal person would. He falls out a window with his trousers down, fantasises about becoming Jason Statham, and shows his genitals to the paparazzi.
It was very weird watching Alan without the canned laughter, and I must say I missed it a bit. It wasn't constantly funny like the series is either but then again it's obviously difficult to maintain 'funny' for an hour and a half.
Michael is there, and Lynn of course, but they have both aged drastically, which is strange, because Alan looks almost identical. (If my memory serves me correctly, wasn't he nearly fifty in the 1990s TV show?!)
Anyway, there are some classic moments, and really, it's a funny film.
Watch if you are a fan of 'The Partridge.'