Monday, December 30, 2013

(HORROR) Demons Never Die - 2011 *




Firstly, what is Tulisa doing in a film? She has as much talent as a table leg. The poster is misleading, making out that she has a bigger part than she does. I don't think it will upset too many people when I say (*spoiler*) that she is the first to die horribly.
When her death is announced at school, a group of students, all intent on committing suicide, decide they have to act quickly so that they can also 'go out all guns blazing' so to speak. The whole story is like some nightmarish "Kidulthood" where teens spend days either being bumped off by a deranged psycho in a Darth Vader style mask or wandering around planning whether they want to jump off a building or not. Then there is the added 'love story' that takes shape between two of the weirdest students. The girl proclaiming proudly that at 17 she is still a virgin and likes being one, before yanking the guy up from his seat and dragging him home to have a long drawn out and frankly embarrassing sex scene.
Much more hilariously bad acting follows, including a hideous game of twister where all the drunk teens roll around on top of each other  whilst downing huge bottles of vodka. Accompany this with the wonderful music from, you guessed it, Tulisa, screeching her heart out and you have this film.

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