(HORROR) 247f - 2011 ****

I was pleasantly surprised by this film. It was well done, atmospheric, and COULD happen (if you were extremely unlucky). The only thing I didn't like was how infuriating the lead female was (but then the leads always are). Four friends go to their mate's cabin for the weekend to relax in his new and snazzy sauna. Things seem to be going well, and both couples are pairing up. But when the guy gets stoned and shuts his friends into the sauna without a way out, they start to panic big time.
It's quite a simple concept, but has to be drawn out for a full feature length, and it is. Typical American teenager stupidity however at doing exactly the wrong thing at the wrong time.

Scalene - 2011 ***

I had really not been expecting much from this film, but was really amazed at how clever it was and how much I enjoyed it. The very first scene shows a woman appearing manically at a woman's door with a gun and trying to break in. This looks crazy and makes the whole movie seem like it's going to be very bad indeed. But it's not, so stick with it.
It's similar to 'Rashomon' in that it's one story told from 3 points of view, involving a brain damaged boy who is possibly being abused by his mother, a rape committed by the boy and murder.
I finished watching it and had to sit and take in what I had seen for a time afterwards. That doesn't always happen. Clever and twisted in equal amounts, although the acting is probably the weakest point.

Straw Dogs - 2011 ***

I was in mixed minds about watching this, given how poor I found the original film. I was surprised actually how much more I enjoyed it and how much clearer the story seemed. Amy (Kate Bosworth) brings her new husband David (a geeky James Marsden) home to her old town to live on her deseased father's house, and before long Amy's ex-boyfriend Charlie is becoming overly protective of Amy being back, to the extent of getting his friends to taunt David and terrorise him on a regular basis whilst also being lewd and perverted to Amy. This escalates to a terrifying conclusion. There is an intense psychological build-up in this film which I don't recall happening in the original. I quite liked it. 

(HORROR) The Resident - 2011 ***

Tough, no nonsense Hilary Swank stars as Juliet, a young woman who moves into what she believes is her perfect apartment after breaking up with her cheating boyfriend, but soon starts to believe that she is being stalked by somebody close by. At the same time, Max, the man she is renting the apartment from begins to make his feelings for her known, and the couple get closer. But there is something wrong, and when Juliet decides to start seeing her ex-boyfriend again, Max is not happy. Not happy at all.
I quite liked this, but found it dragged on a bit after the first hour or so. It was quite predictable and that might be what made my mind wander towards the end. Still a good watch though.

Take Me Home Night - 2011 **

A ghastly rom-com. None of the characters are likeable, they all seem to have one purpose in life - to get drunk and go to parties (except for Anna Faris who is the biggest attention seeker ever and keeps going on about having a letter from Cambridge but not wanting to open it).
There is the usual big, unfunny bloke with curly hair who doesn't have any aim or goal in his life, and there is the typical suit-wearing 'I'm quietly intelligent yet also a complete snob' bloke too.
All romantic comedies, or even comedies full stop nowadays are filled with stereotypical characters, and it really annoys me. Also, the woman that one of the pathetic men is after (usually one from school/uni/work/the one that got away) is not only a total b**** but also not much to look at. There, that wraps up the film. Lots of drinking, doing drugs, trying to get off with women who are horrible, and soul searching about how pathetic life can be.
Not what you would call an uplifting film.
2 stars for 'Video Killed the Radio Star' at the beginning.

Dirty Movie - 2911 *

Well National Lampoon seems to be heading for a permanent fall. This was just another shocking attempt at comedy that was as funny as a hernia.
The idea of a film about making a film (oh, and it's chokablok full of perverted jokes) has been done before so wasn't really a treat. The actors all looked like this was their last chance at fame before they got a 'normal' job, and to be honest I'm amazed this was even given DVD release. Horrendous.

(HORROR) Rites of Spring 2011 *

Another awful horror film. A deranged lunatic kidnaps young women on the first day of spring every year as a pagan/sadistic ritual. At the same time a completely unrelated sub plot is taking place between a husband and wife who are having financial trouble. It's ghastly.

You're Next - 2011 *

'You're Next' tries to follow in the footsteps of successful "home invasion" films such as 'The Strangers' and Funny Games' but just doesn't work. The whole idea of the film, and the 'surprise twist' towards the end are simply pointless, and do little to enhance what is already a bit of a mish-mash.
A group of relatives all spend the evening at the large house owned by one of them.
Throughout the night they are harassed and terrified by a group of masked villains who try to get inside the house, and cut off all outside contact for the trapped people inside.
It sounds good but it's not, the acting is atrocious, and the motives and opinions of the family are just dire.

The Moth Diaries - 2011 ****

A surprisingly haunting and eerie film, and Lily Cole is just extraordinary to watch. She has a certain beauty to her that reminds me of a Japanese doll, with huge eyes and a tiny mouth.
She plays Ernessa, a mysterious girl who turns up at an all girls boarding school and gradually integrates herself into the middle of a close friendship between two girls. Ernessa isn't all that she seems however, and before long she is threatening the close bond the two girls already have.
I enjoyed the film a lot, found it tense, and found the Marina and the Diamonds track 'Numb' at the end summed up the whole ethereal quality of the film.

A Few Best Men - 2011 ***

Was a bit hesitant about watching this especially seeing Kris Marshall. He's generally far too over the top for me, but he actually worked here. He meshed well with the other characters - the do holder groom, the hopeless manic depressive friend, and the 'heading for trouble wherever he goes' pal. Olivia Newton-John didn't stand out, but it didn't matter. Some hilarious head trippy scenes ensue,including a gay drug dealer and a cocaine smuggling goat, and it was worth the ride.

Cougar Hunting - 2011 ***

Not a bad film, rather humorous. About three guys in dead end jobs who decide to go Aspen to flirt with, and hopefully sleep with as many 'cougars' as possible.
Its your typical American idiotic men storyline, but its still quite funny.

Betrayed at 17 - 2011 ****

Tragic story about a teenage girl whose life is destroyed after a tape of her having sex with a boy from school is spread around the whole institution. The boy in question films the encounter but is not the one who forwards it to everyone, that person in question has a much darker agenda.
I enjoyed it, but it also genuinely shocked me.

A Good Old Fashioned Orgy - 2011 ***

A group of friends plan one last unforgettable party at the massive house of their friend. Things turn crazy when they decide that the theme of the party is to be an orgy. Its actually quite a funny film, but typical of what you would expect from the hundreds of 'party' movies that come from America.

Mardi Gras: Spring Break- 2011 ***

Carmen Electra doesn't appear to have actually been in a decent film. Her name appears on a film and the male population goes wild. In this film the director hasn't even bothered to give her a character name, so she plays herself. Brilliant. Three guys go to New Orleans to experience the best Mardi Gras celebrations ever (supposedly) and bump into Carmen Electra. It's quite amusing.

(HORROR) Demons Never Die - 2011 *

Firstly, what is Tulisa doing in a film? She has as much talent as a table leg. The poster is misleading, making out that she has a bigger part than she does. I don't think it will upset too many people when I say (*spoiler*) that she is the first to die horribly.
When her death is announced at school, a group of students, all intent on committing suicide, decide they have to act quickly so that they can also 'go out all guns blazing' so to speak. The whole story is like some nightmarish "Kidulthood" where teens spend days either being bumped off by a deranged psycho in a Darth Vader style mask or wandering around planning whether they want to jump off a building or not. Then there is the added 'love story' that takes shape between two of the weirdest students. The girl proclaiming proudly that at 17 she is still a virgin and likes being one, before yanking the guy up from his seat and dragging him home to have a long drawn out and frankly embarrassing sex scene.
Much more hilariously bad acting follows, including a hideous game of twister where all the drunk teens roll around on top of each other  whilst downing huge bottles of vodka. Accompany this with the wonderful music from, you guessed it, Tulisa, screeching her heart out and you have this film.

Rio - 2011 ***

'Rio' is quite a risqué film in that it shows off Rio De Janeiro in a slightly different way to how it actually is. It's also a bit of a strange topic in that it showcases a macaw bird as it's lead star (although I suppose 'Finding Nemo' was based around a fish). The bird, affirmably named Blu, cannot fly, and ends up being kidnapped from his human owner and taken to Rio. There, he meets a cast of eccentric characters including a female macaw named Jewel who he takes a shine to when they are both confined to the same cage.
It's quite a sweet film, with a couple of funky songs, but it's probably not one that I would see again.

Just Go With It - 2011 ***

Moderately funny, but nothing to get too worked up about, this movie features Adam Sandler in the role he loves best, that of a quirky, not very funny, hard done-by bloke. After a misunderstanding, Sandler meets a woman he believes is meant for him. The thing is, he has always worn his wedding ring (despite the marriage ending when he was a teen) so that women will not want commitment from him. He therefore has to convince his new girlfriend that he is getting divorced from his wife and she believes him. This is so that she doesn't  The only thing is that he doesn't have a wife, only a good friend (Aniston). After a lot of begging, he persuades her to play along as his soon-to-be-divorced spouse, as well as her two children.
Of course there are some funny moments, but the standout performances have to be from Aniston's two children, one of whom spends the whole movie speaking in an awful cockney accent in preparation for going to drama school. Sandler gets annoying after a while.

(HORROR) The Amityville Haunting - 2011 **

Another chaotic mess by the affably named 'Asylum' film company. Basing itself around lost footage found of a family's slow descent into madness and mania in the by now infamous 'Ocean Drive' house that was home to the Amityville killings. Of course it wasn't filmed in the real house, it looked nothing like it in fact, the actors were painful, especially the ex-army father who insists on everyone calling him 'sir' and the aggravating boy who wanders around sticking his video camera in everyone's face and repeating the same questions over and over again,
It's a horrendous movie.

Detention - 2011 ***

It's getting three stars for total originality because iv never seen anything like this before. It's slasher/comedy/sci fi/ all mixed together, and you are never quite sure which scene will inhabit which. It's a very dry almost black comedy, not a laugh out loud one, its or not scary enough to be a slasher. It's very weird. I can't say I loved it, but hats off to the director for manoeuvring such a fresh idea.

Sightseers - 2011 ** 1/2

What a peculiar film. I haven't seen Alice Lowe since she was in the brilliant 'My Life in Film' with Andrew Scott. This wasn't brilliant. It was just very strange and very slow.
Lowe and Oram play an unhinged couple who go off on a caravan holiday but end up compiling a large body count of people who get on their nerves. It's very dark, and cannot possibly be described as a 'black comedy' because its just not funny. Most of the time it's awkward and embarrassing.
Strange and creepy in my opinion.