Cinderella - 2006 * * *

It will mess with your head.

This is a strange film (obviously all tartan asia is strange!) and it kept my interest throughout. I didn't fully understand what was going on until about half way through but then everything seemed to snap into place. I ended up thinking the twist to the story was pretty amazing although the actors were rather annoying. Compared to my last helping of Asian Horror ( Ab-Normal Beauty) this was far superior.

Ab-Normal Beauty - 2004 * *

Drop Dead Beautiful.

Looked a great concept for a film. It wasn't. I didn't understand half the movie and I know I'll get slated for saying that I didn't like it because I didn't understand it but really when you feel like a movie is a blur what's to like?? So many scenes were just a mish-mash of ideas thrown together that it became unappealing almost immediatly and I don't mind saying I was watching the clock the whole time. The main character has an unhealthy obsession with photographing dead animals and people ( she photographs a girl who throws herself off the top of a building for goodness sake!) and through her photographs she starts to think she is going slightly mad. Add a sexual abuse storyline from ages ago into the mix and you have one mediocre excuse for a horror film.

I for one love murder mysteries such as Agatha Christie where the viewers (or readers) will find the culprit simply by eliminating unlikely suspects, so that at the end all the clues point to one person. You will not find that here, and I swear at the end of the film you will be so disappointed. One reviewer stated that 'the film makers are not obligated to present us at the beginning of the film with the main culprit or perpetrator to allow us an easy ride but actually it is usually desirable to save our sanity otherwise we have nothing to work with and no clues to follow when watching the film! Poorly made.

B.T.K - 2007 * *

Bind. Torture. Kill.

I've actually never heard of this serial killer which is strange because I'm pretty clued up famous murders in England and America.

Dennis Rader plays a middle-aged married man with devoted children who murders and tortures women in the evening. Kane Hodder is suitably eerie in the role and the acting is not bad, but the story hangs a bit thin and it didn't grip me.

Doghouse - 2009 * * *

On the p***, on the pull, on the menu.

Ok, I'm not about to say by any means that Danny Dyer is a brilliant or particularly talented actor, but if you want a film with some ready laughs and a bit of a stupid storyline involving zombie women then you should see this. All the blokes acting together are pretty funny and the idea that they are all on a long weekend to forget about divorces and nagging spouses is humorously ironic. A good Saturday night movie.

The Hills Run Red - 2009 * * *

Trespassers will be slaughtered.

This film reminded me quite a bit of the black horror comedy 'Hack' where a film is made about the legend of a film. I prefered Hack to this.

The film revolves around a guy named Tyler who is obsessed by the legend of 'The Hills Run Red' a movie that was supposedly banned a long time again because of the graphic and violent content. Conveniently he meets a stripper called Alexa who is the daughter of the mysterious movie director of the film and they set out into the woods along with Tyler's 2 friends to uncover the truth about the film. What follows is a serious of gruesome and typical scenes that you would find in most horror movies. Not worth a second watch, or really even a first.

The Good Die Young - 1954 * * * *

A full star robbery.

What a wonderful feeling it is to be presented with a movie that you normally wouldn't look twice at and in fact it ends up being a nail-biting ride with some brilliant acting. The story is simple - four men meet in a pub all are having problems at home, one man does not have enough money to take his wife away to New York to get her away from her controlling mother. Another is a gambler with a problem who has constantly relied on his wife for money until she refuses to help him settle a debt; all are in desperate need of money and all will do nearly anything to get it, the thing is can they trust their fellow men? This exciting film noir portrays some brilliant performances, especially from Stanley Baxter, Gloria Grahame and Joan Collins. Amazng.

Triangle - 2009 * *

Fear Comes in Waves.

This movie was talked about a lot last year. I decided I had to see it so last weekend I sat down to what I thought was going to be a brilliant and creepy story. Wrong. It was creepy yes, but it barely had anything to do with the Bermuda Triangle except for a bit at the beginning where a group of friends sail right into the centre by accident and are caught in a dreadful storm. One of the friends, Jess begins to act very strangely and the story progresses from there. In fact it progresses so fast that I barely took everything in. You really do have to have your wits about you because it's a case of blinking and missing parts that are important. The acting is nothing special, the story is muddled and to be honest I don't agree with all the raving reviews saying that you need to watch the movie lots of times to discover new depths. For me it's a one off and with such a pathetic ending that's how it will stay.

Battle Royale - 2001 * * * * 1/2

Could you kill your best friend?

This film really is one of the weirdest, eeriest and surrealist things I've ever seen. The premise follows a class of Japanes schoolchildren who are chosen at random to take part in the government's new scheme for dealing with delinquent school kids - The Battle Royale Scheme.

What happens is very simple, the children are stranded on a remote desert island with only a small amount of food and water and one weapon each. Oh and just one more thing - they have three days to fight to death and kill each other, because there can only be one winner, and that is the person who survives. Which brings them to the gastly question - 'Could you kill your best friend to survive?' You'd be surprised. And there is no way out of this game, because if there is more than one survivor left after the three days then the electronic necklaces that each school child is wearing will automatically explode.

This film is shocking and brutal but I also love the idea, which is creepily interspersed with classical music throughout, and the lengths that some of the children will go to to stay together, or stay alive.

An ingenius and brilliantly acted film, showing exactly how far some film makers will go to show what is wrong with our society.

Silver City - 2004 * *

Vote Early, Vote Often.

I watched this because I thought I should and because it had been clogging up the DVD shelf for months on end. Too long and drawn out for my liking with too many characters who didn't have worthwhile parts, I thought the only saving grace was Maria Bello, who only appears for a short time compared to the other actors. Politically focused and based, this is a satire on the political world which I think would only mean something to people if they were incredibly clued up on politics which I regretfully am not.

A miss.

Deadline - 2009 * * * *

Focus Your Fear.

Disregarding the eerie poster showing a lifeless Brittany Murphy drowning in her bath (an image that would be played out tragically three weeks later when Brittany sadly died in her bathroom) we should really focus on how clever this film is. And any movie that makes me think back to it over and over again after I've seen it is worth another watch.

Murphy plays Alice, a young and depressed film-maker, who on the suggestion of her best friend Rebecca goes to spend a week in an old Victorian mansion where she hopes she can work on her current film project without disturbance. However after less than an hour she starts to experience things that are more terrifying and heart-breaking than she can imagine.

This movie has been slated by film-reviewers because of Brittany's tragic state whilst filming and although I agree that it's very sad to see her literally wasting away in front of our eyes I don't think that should detract from her amazing performance.

The Brothers Grimm - 2005 * * * 1/2

If you go down to the woods today, you'll never believe your eyes.

I've waited so long to watch this and really thought it was a worthwhile movie. Damon and Ledger play two brothers who travel from place to place performing fake exorcisms for large amounts of money. What they aren't counting on however is to be thrown head first into a real life supernatural panic as they must fight good over evil to break the curse of the Mirror Queen (who is a mixture of Rapunzel for her hair and Sleeping Beauty for living in a perilous tower) and save the inhabitants of a village in Germany. On their way they are to encounter such creatures as the GingerBread Man, Hans and Greta (Hansel and Gretel) and the Big Bad Wolf before their task is complete.

By the first scene you can be sure that Terry Gilliam is the owner of this magical and amazing ride into the supernatural ( no one else could do it better) and he pulls it off stupendously. What I love about his films is that he can throw in so many subtle nods to other movies of the same genre without you really noticing, and it is only at the end that you realise how much of a genius he actually is.

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever - 2009 * *

This time it's spreading.

Having not been the biggest fan of the earlier movie Cabin Fever I wasn't holding out much for this to be much of an experience.
The film does manage to incorporate all the typical American Pie-esque movies in one go with a bit of horror mixed in for good measure. A lot of the movie consists of a bloke chasing after a girl, and another bloke chasing after another girl and various sexual innuendos that only seem right in a film like this.
Towards the end the movie becomes more horror-stricken and there are some really disturbing scenes (I'm talking about the one in the swimming pool, really too disgusting for words) which the film directors must think round the movie off nicely as well as a full blown school prom happening at the same time which is quite amusing. So really this is a teen movie. American Pie, Porky's and many others spring to my mind when trying to compare this to anything. Not worth a watch, but then again neither is the first one.

Keith - 2008 * * * *

Love's a force you can't control.

I'd only stumbled by mistake over this film and didn't know what to expect. All I can say was it was an amazing heart-breaking experience that was very close to 'A Walk to Remember' (except that was really bad and awfully acted) which made me nearly cry. The two main characters have this amazing connection which seems far too mature for them but also seems very real. The main lead Natalie thinks her life is pretty plain and sorted until she meets Keith, a guy who gives her whole world a new meaning, what she doesn't know is that he is hiding a secret which means he has nothing to loose.

Amazing.

Obsessed - 2009 * * * * *

All's fair when love is war.

First off I really wasn't sure that Beyonce would be able to act in a movie like this. In one word she was 'outstanding.' I thought this movie was brilliant, with excellently draw characters and a fantastic storyline. The plot centres around Derek, a successful accounts manager in the city who becomes entangled with an alluring temp named Lisa who will not take no for an answer when she starts stalking him and he rejects her advances. Beyonce plays his devoted and loving wife Sharon who starts to have doubts about her husband's fidelity after finding out that he has a close relationship with his assistant. All three characters play their parts superbly and I was gripped for the whole movie. This movie could be compared to Fatal Attraction with certain differences such as the fact that Derek never actually leads Lisa on and is happily married while in Fatal Attraction the main character actually has an affair with no guilt attached. Worth at least 2 watches!

Miss Pettigrew Lives for a day - 2008 * * * *

I've been looking for you all night, and I believe all of my life.

Having not read Winifrid Watson's book that made this the smash hit that it now is, I'm so glad I've seen the film, as it really encapsulates early 20th century London and makes me dream of what it must have been like. After getting unfairly fired from her job and made homeless all in one day, Miss Pettigrew finds (by mistake) herself in the house of a beautiful American singer/actress named Delysia who mistakes her for the new housekeeper/social secretary and gives her the most amazing day of her life. This is a heart-warming film with plenty of flashes of 1930s glamour thrown in, and Amy Adams is brilliant and as quirky a thing as you ever did see in her role as Delysia whose past is not exactly what it seems. . .
A lovely rainy day movie.

Baise Moi - 2000 * * * *

When you have nothing you have nothing to loose.

I can see all the controversial material in this would upset a lot of people, and I did find myself looknig away in parts, but I also found myself totally enthralled by this amazing and brutally violent movie about two women who meet at the lowest point in their lives and find solace by going on a killing spree, murdering people for money and having sex along the way whenever they want. The two main actresses are real live adult movie stars and some of the scenes seem quite natural to them. I hated Thelma and Louise which is the dreadful American watered down version of this featuring two pathetic women who don't seem to fit in with the whole 'rampage' lifestyle whereas these two women are mean, hard and brilliant in their roles. I loved their attitude and though I didn't agree with the high level of sex that was shown I did really like the film and respect the director's choice to make the film.

Pygmalion - 1938 * * *

Walk? Not bloody likely, I'll be taking a taxi!

There are many similarities to Pygamlion and My Fair Lady, and to be honest I prefered the latter. Leslie Howard is really good as Henry Higgins but he doesn't have the same mischievous glint and humour as Rex Harrison did. I realise this is the earlier version and it's very unlike me to prefer a later version of any film, but I really can't see myself watching this again whereas I constantly refer back to My Fair Lady for the beauty of its casting and glorious music. This is one time where I think maybe a film would have been better with a few songs in it and a different leading lady would have sufficed. Audrey Hepburn is in my opinion the perfect Eliza Dolittle and no one else really comes close. Although she is an American actress I much prefer her voice trying to be an English cockney than Wendy Hiller, who seems rather uncomfortable and strained both in her rendition of a common wench and as a sophisticated lady. Also in this, Higgins is actually a very unpleasant person and not in the least bit kind or decent towards Eliza.
I wasn't bowled over by this film, although I think it's a masterpiece on George Bernard Shaw's part.