Body Heat - 1981 * * * *

Kathleen Turner yet again captures the screen in this sizzling and hot film noir in colour. William Hurt, a lawyer gets caught up with sexy femme fatale Kathleen Turner who is supposedly caught in an unhappy marriage. The 2 begin a passionate affair and Hurt decides he will do anything for her, even commit murder. This film just oozes sexuality and heat. You can literally taste the stifling heat in the city as the men from the office stop off in coffee bars to have lunch in their 50s style shirts and smoke their vintage cigarettes. There is something about this film that looks strangely dated. But in a good way. This is the best modern thriller/noir movie I have seen in a long time.

Nine 1/2 weeks - 1986 * *

I broke every rule by watching this. Every rule where it says viewers should concentrate on good movies as opposed to hideous and badly unscripted pieces of film.

To put it bluntly, this movie had no storyline except 2 people who meet by chance one day and decide to have as much sex as possible in the next 2 months or so totally disregarding the fact that they don't have anything else in common and don't even seem to like each other. I have no idea why this film is noted as one of the great 80s films to see! All I can think is that audiences in the 80s were temporarily braindead if this constitutes good cinema. Only entertaining for men I would imagine.

Cinderella 2:Dreams Come True - 2002 * *

No, no, no. So far I have been really disappointed with sequels to Disney films. They are just dire in compariosn to the originals. I think the reason is that the originals are so brilliant and flawless that anything else is just a waste of time. Added to which the sequel makers really aren't trying anyway so we are left with a stupid unfunny and unappealing film. Trust me, there is no point in watching this, and if you aren't put off by that, be put off by the idiotic squeaking mice who take up almost the entire movie.

Crimes of Passion - 1984 * * * *

I'll be honest. I went into this movie with the idea that it was going to be pretty dire. Boy was I wrong! Kathleen Turner sizzles on the screen as the alluring China Blue, a prostitute who gives men everything they want, except herself. Anthony Perkins (whom I barely recognised as the psychotic Norman Bates from Psycho)was on top form as a manic priest out to 'save' China Blue with any means possible. Although it's not exactly a purely religious experience. The whole movie is disjointed, manic, and bizarre like a 60s acid trip, and I absolutely loved it. Cult classic? I think so.

Possession - 2009 * * *

Fear never dies.

This is a very bizarre movie. I can understand the premise for it and there are some very scary parts. However the film itself doesn't make any sense. Sarah Michelle Gellar plays the lead role ( I haven't seen her in anything since the gastly 'Southland Tales') and does as good a job as she can with the material she is given. She is in a loving marriageth her husband Ryan whilst his disturbing and strange brother Roman takes up space in their house eating and drinking everything in sight. One day this all changes when Ryan and Roman are involved in a dreadful car crash which leaves them both in a coma. But then something very strange happens. This is what I don't understand - (SPOILERS) - the body of Ryan regains consciousness and yet Jess ( Gellar) can only see Roman when she speaks to him. To us the viewers all we can see is Ryan who has Ryan's traits and Ryan's personality but apparently that is not what Jess is seeing! That for me just messed up the whole idea of the film.

Salvage - 2009 * * *

This was a surprisingly good effort from British film-makers. And what amde it good was the reality. At the beginning we see a moody teenage begrudgingly being taken by her dad to spend Christmas with her mother. About 15 minutes later all hell breaks loose.

The whole 'this could reall happen' element is present the whole time and that is what makes it even more disturbing. Plus the acting is really very good. I love films where the director hasn't chosen idiotically beautiful people with no acting ability and gone on talent instead. This certainly isn't the case here. There are some genuinely scary parts in this. Very relevant to today's events.

Deconstructing Harry - 1997 * * * *

I love Woody Allen. I think he is a total genius and I adore his style of directing, producing and acting in his films. What many people dislike about him I lap up, eager for more. The way he can make a scene look like it has just been improvised on the spot and his nervous and nerdy exterior is perfect. He also has some really brilliant ideas in film-making and you can tell how much of a film he has been an active part in when you watch it. I am aware that he plays pretty much the same panicked looking character in all his films but again that is what I like about him. I love to be able to recognise that it is a Woody Allen film from the start.

This movie is really about writer's block. And the writer is Woody Allen. His books are written with no regard to his friends or family whom he thinly veils by changing simply one letter in their name when he lists all their negative points. As you can tell this doesn't win him any brownie points and most of the film seems to mix the reality of his life as a writer and the life of his characters. I love how it switches from one reality to the other so fast. In his mind, both seperate lives are equally real to him which makes it all very confusing. At the same time his strong feelings for a woman he meets in the real world becomes tangled with the relationship of ihs characters in his fantasy world. An excellent idea, an original idea and of course if Woody Allen is involved then it's a prize-winning idea. A brilliant cast is like the icing on the cake with this type of movie. Woody Allen is supported by Elizabeth Shue, Kirstie Alley, Billy Crystal and a young looking Tobey Maguire. He nearly always gives the largest parts to other stars and stands back a little to admire his work but in this thankfully he took the reigns and made the entire movie based on himself.

Immediately after watching this I was online downloading another handful of his films, hoping that I would find yet another gem amoungst them. So far I haven't seen a single dud in all the films of his that I have seen (whether they were him as a director, a producer or an actor), and I don't think it is likely to happen. He is just a one off.

Postcards From the Edge - 1990 * * * *

Having a wonderful time. Wish I were here.

This movie is predominately about substance abuse and how it can really ruin your life. It's also a good spoof of Hollywood stars who turn up to work too out of their face to function properly and how it affects their careers. However it is also very funny and touching, and Meryl Streep is brilliant as always. She plays Suzanne, a washed out and drugged up actress who is continuously losing work because of her addiction to prescription drugs. Her mother (played by Shirley McLaine) is still caught up on her own life being a waste and finds it hard to communicate with her daughter without insulting how she lives her life. However at the same time she is fiercly dedicated to Suzanne and is constantly sticking up for her and there for her when her drug-taking gets too much. (It strikes me that this peculiar and overbearing mother and daughter relationship is very like that of 'Terms of Endearment)

I really liked this movie and am pleased to find a film that is never mentioned today but surprisingly gives a spot on example of how celebrity can destroy someone's life. Nothing new there then.

Dead Girl - 2008 *

You'll never have anything better.

Ok, first off, if you aren't put off by the totally idiotic title for this film then it may be hard to influence you later on. I must say I was put off but I still went ahead anyway having no clue what was to await me.

I'm going to keep this brief because life is too short for films like this. Basically a couple of boys go to an abandoned hospital to get high and find a girl seemingly dead and naked chained up to an operating table. In the dark. Yeah really. After touching her up a bit she appears to open her eyes, a sign to them that she must be alive. However after a series of events invloving shooting her a few dozen times and finding her exactly the same as before they start to realise that maybe she is dead. Well the undead. And who better to have sex with than a naked zombie who is chained up and can't struggle. So they do. Again, and again. Need I go on?

DO NOT BOTHER.

My Sister's Keeper - 2009 * * * *

What a heart-breaking movie! I've heard so much about this film and also the praise that has gone for Jodi Picoult's book. Abigail Breslin is just a fantastic little actress and keeps going on and on to do better things in her career. Cameron Diaz was brilliant as the neurotic and over-bearing mother and Joan Cusack was also on top form as usual ( has she ever been in a dud film?) as the Judge.

Kate has leukemia, and is dying. Her parents speak to a doctor who tells them that the only way they may be able to save her life is to give birth to a special child that they can use as a sort of donor. Her point on earth will be to be given tests and to have parts of her body like bone marrow extracted so that her sister can benefit. However as the child grows she decides that she likes living and doesn't want to sacrifice herself for anybody.

Some incredibly poignant moments make this film one of the most heart-wrenching I have seen for a long time.

Tower of London - 1962 *

I feel almost embarassed to say anything negative about a Hammer Horror film. However I can't say anything good about this awful excuse for a film based around the Royal Family in the Tower of London. I can't even applaud Vincent Price for remaking this from his earlier 30s film of the same name. Price is a hugely comical and enjoyable actor to watch and it is quite sad to see him in something that clearly doesn't show off his talent. The story is a bit of a mess really and I was glad when it was over. Not one I would desire to see ever again.

Portrait of Jennie - 1948 * * *

This is one of those films that you barely hear about these days. You constantly hear about Casablanca and Hitchcock and The Third Man but never this. And why? This is a very smart film, and a very haunting film. Joseph Cotton is one of my favourite actors and was sorely underrated in his time. The story revolves around a failing artist whose chance encounter with a mysterious girl named Jennie changes his life forever. The music is very eerie and parts of it are similar to the other mysterious movie 'Rebecca.'

Lillian Gish also has a small role later on in the film, see if you can spot her. Obviously however, the best part of the movie is the chemistry of Cotton and Jones. They are meant to act on screen together and as it was this was their 4th movie collaboration together. A lovely and beautiful film and one that should be acknowledged in this day and age.

The Divorcee - 1930 * * * * *

One of the first films to burst through into the well known 'talkie' era, this movie proves controversial and amazing to watch even now. I have never seen Norma Shearer in anything but had heard great things about her. She strikes me as this headstrong and independent woman who is up there with the likes of Katherine Hepburn and Barbara Stanwyck. I'm hooked on her. Why is it that all these amazing actresses have equally amazing films, most of which are barely available to the likes of me. What a waste.
Shearer plays Gerry, a fun-loving party girl who marries the love of her life Ted, to the happiness of all her friends. But a few years into the marriage it is clear that Ted is not happy just being a one woman man. Gerry decides to reward him in turn.

Just a brilliant movie, a daring movie and a beautifully shot movie showing us really a unique insight into the end of the 20s ( some of the New Years Eve scenes almost look like real footage) yet with all the wit and sarcasm of modern day film. Also it's so short that you can do with watching it twice.

My Blue Heaven - 1990 * *

I seem to be seeing an abundance of bad movies at the moment. This was a dreadful excuse for a comedy and Steve Martin just reassured me that I really can't stand him. The only film he has ever made me laugh in is 'The Man with Two Brains' and this is nothing like it.

From what I can gather Martin plays an ex con put into the witness protection program to start a new life in a new area. He meets Joan Cusack ( who I love!) and her brood and begins to get closer and closer to her. Rick Moranis ( wasn't he the guy from 'Honey I shrunk the Kids'?) plays from what I can gather Martin's lawyer or someone to that equivalent. To be honest I really lost interest in this movie before half way but I managed to struggle to the end. Other reviewers go on about how Martin portrays a hilarious spoof of a gangster (his life is actually based on Harry Hill of Goodfellas fame) and how perfect he is for the role but I really don't see it. Sorry. A miss for me.

Shallow Grave - 1994 * *

What's a little murder between friends?

This is apparently a cult classic. One that people really connect with and find something different in each time. I felt the total opposite. I can't actually believe this is by the same bloke who directed the brilliantly absurd and bizarre Trainspotting. He was obviously having a slump.

Ewan McGregor is annoying, Christopher Eccleston is annoying and Kerry Fox is probably the most annoying of them all.

3 Friends want to find a housemate to help them pay their bills and accordingly they find someone who they think is the perfect candidate. Except on the 1st morning they find him dead, sprawled naked on his bed. And then they find the money. Sounds like a good idea for a movie but it's dreadfully executed and really uninspiring. Not a cult classic. Not even a classic.

The Tooth Fairy - 2010 * *

The tooth hurts.

This was a gastly movie. It barely raised a smile from me and the whole premise was ridiculous. Saying that I am an adult and not a little girl so maybe if I was 5 or 6 I would appreciate it more. Dwayne Johnson plays the unimaginative boyfriend of Ashley Judd who one night tells her small daughter that there is no such thing as the tooth fairy. Big Mistake.

From then on he is sentenced to a week's hard labour as a real tooth fairy by Tooth Fairy boss Julie Andrews. Stephen Merchant pops up as his personal assistant to give support whenever he needs it ( he is maybe the one good thing about the movie) and ends up having to re-evaluate his own life. Billy Crystal has a small part which brightens up the movie a bit but on the whole it's a bit of a sorry excuse for a comedy. I think really that either a film based on a topic such as this should really concentrate on being soley for children or go the other way and be a proper comedy instead of lingering somewhere in limbo where it's slightly disturbing.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - 2004 * *

I'm generally not sure what to say about this movie. I knew that it would be weird simply from the name and the fact that it is directed by the same bloke who inflicted 'The Royal Tenenbaums' on us but I had no idea it would be this weird.

Bill Murray is a great comical actor and films like 'Groundhog Day' and 'Scrooged' really make the most of his talents. But I felt here that his character was just not giving Murray enough.

We follow Steve Zissou as he embarks on a journey to the bottom of the sea to find, capture and kill the curious spotted shark that ate his best friend then disappeared a few years ago. Rather strange you say; well yes it really is. On the way he meets his long lost son ( Owen Wilson of course had to have a part in this movie as he seems to with all movies by this director), a pregnant lesbian reporter played excellently by Cate Blanchett and battles with his estranged wife Anjelica Huston over the absurdity of the whole thing.

Some scenes are really lovely i.e. when the group are underwater and we see lots of computerised yet beautifully bizarre rare fish but mostly the film has no comic value and seems to serve only as an important quest film. I much prefered 'The Darjeeling Limited' ( in fact I loved that) to this as I found enough in all areas to keep me occupied whereas this was so surreal most of the time that I wasn't able to really connect with it. Que the millions of fans who's day I have just put a damper on because I didn't rate this as a masterpiece.

She's Crushed - 2009 * *

Some are victims, some are predators, some are both.

A dreadfully acted movie with a ridiculous 'Fatal Attraction' aura about it. The main star Tara is particularly unattractive and therefore makes the whole obsessive girl chasing boy ( also very unattractive) scenario almost laughable. Half of the film is filmed like its on a tripod which is very strange considering the other half looks quite professional. I don't mind which medium it is filmed in as long as the director stays that way from start to finish.

I really can't say anything good about this film, except that it does serve it's fair amount of scares which was the idea.

The Scarlet Pimpernel - 1935 * * * *

I've only ever seen Richard E. Grant's Scarlet Pimpernel Series on the tv and remember it fondly. I love Merle Oberon and Leslie Howard however and they really shone in this. After the rather disastrous Pygmalion I was rather dubious of finding Howard serious in anything but he really did this role justice. His character was a perfect mixture of sarcasm, dry wit and courage and I thought he played his part exeedingly well. Merle Oberon was the beautiful but vain Lady Blakeney who is blissfully unaware of The Scarlet Pimpernel's real identity. Raymond Massey brings added support and altogether a very enjoyable movie. Reminded me very much of Dirk Bogarde's 'A Tale of Two Cities.'

The Promotion - 2008 * *

Two guys, one job, no rules.

I went into this film thinking it was something totally different ( for some reason I thought it was The Proposition with Sandra Bullock!) so it was a bit of a shock to see old Seann WS having a main role in it!

Seann William Scott definitely makes me laugh but I can't stop seeing him as someone from the American Pie films where he really shone and so anything else he is in just seems pale in comparison. In this film he's a customer supervisor in a large Wal-Mart type store hoping desperately for a promotion which will offer him more money and stability with his girlfriend. Also a chance to get out of the cramped flat he lives in where he is constantly bothered by the weird banjo-playing sexaholic next door. What he didn't count on was being up against a new supervisor from another store ( John C. Reilly) who appears like a whirlwind and starts changing everything in the store round much to Seann's annoyance. He also has a secret past and an infuriating wife with the most fake Scottish accent I have ever heard. The 2 men realise that they have bitten off more than they can chew and set about doing everything in their power to secure their future.

Some parts are mildly amusing, but I'm fed up with films coming out named 'comedies' when really they should be marketed as 'drama with a few comic tones'!

Swimfan - 2002 * *

Sometimes it's murder getting the man you want.

If I had never seen a film with this premise before ( psycho woman goes after man and ruins his life) then I would have been tempted to rate this highly. However as this isn't a new idea and has been done to death (Fatal Attraction, The Crush, Crush) I can't really get too excited about it.

Jesse Bradford is the school jock Ben, ( there always has to be one in any American horror film, it's getting a tad boring...) who's life is taken over by swimming. He has a nice if not terribly exciting girldfriend called Amy and a group of weird friends ( including yet another jock and 2 outcasty women)and things seem great. However when new girl Madeleine Bell turns up and directs her attentions towards Ben, he just cannot resist ( having no brain or morals of his own except in his trousers) and things get heated yadda yadda. (I've decided to start feeling sorry for the crazy woman instead of the unfaithful git who can't control himself in future films like this if I ever dain to watch another one)You'll know the rest without me telling you and probably even guess the ending so there isn't much point watching this really. Watch Fatal Attraction for the primary film that started this whole obsessive craze off, that's the only one that will get you on the edge of your seat.

Kissing Jessica Stein - 2001 * * *

She's so confused about love that she can't think straight.

This was quite a funny movie and the fact that the 2 lead females wrote, directed and starred in the film needs to be taken into account.

The character of Jessica Stein is one of the most annoying that I have ever had the misfortune to see on film. She is petty, ditzy, far too preoccupied with her image to think of true happiness and seemingly homophobic through half of the film!

She is certainly very watchable albeit whilst we are grimacing but I feel her co-star Helen is a much better and well-rounded excuse for a character. Then there is the weedy and chauvintistic co-worker of Jessica's who never plucks the courage up to say how he feels to her and waits until the last minute when it is too late before he blurts it out. Added to which this film does not have much of a moral or a message, not to give too much away but let's just say the character of Jessica Stein is back to the beginning at the end.

It's one of those movies that the Gay and Lesbian Film Community were agast by, so for that reason at least it's worth a watch, just don't expect too much.

Two Lovers - 2008 * * 1/2

Sometimes we have to leave everything to find ourselves.

Despite the glowing reviews for this movie as the best 'arty film of 2008' I really found myself disappointed. Added to which I spent ages looking for Hilary Swank in the cast list and couldn't find her, only to find this woman Vinessa Shaw was her! The look so alike! But anyway. This is rumoured to be Pheonix's last film and I must say that he certainly won't be going out with a bang! His acting was totally wooden, his character was ridiculously one-dimensional and the end really frustrated me. I'm not sure whether he can't act ( he seemed okay in 'Signs' but that doesn't mean anything) or whether he was such a good actor that he could expertly portray an awful character like that. I was disgusted by Paltrow's pathetic, whiny character who kept having arguments with her lover who also happened to be married with children ( resulting of course in her constantly calling on Pheonix whenever she was upset) and felt dreadfully sorry for Vinessa Shaw's nice and unassuming character who was effectively being used by Pheonix as a back-up.

I'm not sure if this movie is supposed to be trying to explain the way a man thinks ( he would rather clasp on to a drug-taking, adventurous party animal than have a decent and loving relationship with a kind and sensitive person) or is just doing a bad job at trying to amuse a mixed audience capable of seeing stereotypes.

I had hoped for a lot more with this movie but am glad I saw it all the same.

Something to Talk About - 1995 * * * *

A story about husbands, wives, parents, children and other natural disasters.

I've never heard of this movie but for some reason discovered it on my laptop last night. It really was a worthwhile film and Julia Roberts was as always brilliant in her role.

Roberts plays Grace, who after finding out that her husband (played greasily by Dennis Quaid) has been unfaithful to her flees to her parents farm to find herself again. However once her proud and overbearing parents find out the reason for her arrival it sets to turn the whole family upside down. Dennis Quaid was brilliant as the philandering husband who doesn't understand the impact of his actions ( how typically male).

I really enjoyed this and am encouraged to watch more of Julia Roberts' work.

The Yellow Rolls Royce - 1964 * * * *

It all happens in the Yellow Rolls Royce.

Terence Rattigan struck lucky with the idea for this 60s drama ( which I admit I had never heard of!) about 3 seperate groups of people who at one time or another come into contact with the main star of the film - The Yellow Rolls Royce! It really is a beauty,being bought for Rex Harrison's wife in the first segment, being used by Shirley Maclaine as a compromise when her gangster boyfriend has to leave her in the second and being driven into dangerous quarters by Ingrid Bergman in the 3rd. Each plot is well thought out but not long enough to drag, in fact making you want more. The highlights for me are Rex Harrison ( whom I adore in everything) and Ingrid Bergman who is still stunning 20 years on from Casablanca.

A lovely movie that is very underrated, worth a watch.

Bathory - 2008 * * *

She wanted to be beautiful, no matter what the cost.

As one of many who is interested in the grim and dastardly deeds of the Blood Countess of Hungary I lapped up the idea to watch this film. I had hoped it would be a clear and defined account of her coming into power and becoming the monster that she is infamously known as but instead was met by a bizarre story where the murderer is seen as the VICTIM and someone we are supposed to sympathize with.

The director has started up a big debate about the surrounding facts of Erzebet actually trying to convince people that she never commited any of the crimes she was later imprisoned for. With all the research that has spanned hundreds of years there has never been any doubt that she murdered a huge number of young women all for her vanity and so the idea that history should suddenly be changed just on one film's say so is ridiculous. The film really seemed like a bit of a joke although Anna Friel did a good job as Bathory herself. It is split into several parts and this gives it a very strange outlook owing to the fact that I could not really connect with any of the characters.

A great concept for a film but if it's going to be made I feel making one of the most infamous murderesses of all time innocent is never going to bring in a huge crowd.

That Touch of Mink - 1962 * * * * *

What can I say in a negative way about Cary and Doris in a lovely 60s comedy? Doris is hilariously funny as always this time as a beautiful yet virginal woman who is wooed by rich and no-nonsense Cary Grant. Cary is his usual handsome and timeless self and some of the scenes (Doris being drunk for one) are classic. Although there is a lot of sexual innuendo the jokes are not in bad taste ( they never are in the 60s) and this could be enjoyed with all the family ( although I am happy to savour every minute Doris and Cary have on screen together alone.) Timeless and classic.