Gone Fishin' - 1997 *

'Gone Fishin' is not a good film. It's not funny, it's got Danny Glover in it (who cannot act for toffee) and it's just all round boring.
Two fishing enthusiasts go on a trip together to Florida and get caught up in a criminal ring when their car is stolen. I think putting these two actors together is a big mistake and I really didn't enjoy it.
Bad.

The Haunted Mansion - 2003 ***

I've never watched a film based around a ride in a theme park before. Quite interesting idea I think.
Jim is brilliant at his job. So much so that it does tend to interfere with the other areas of his life like his marriage and his children.
After missing his wedding anniversary he promises to make it up to his wife by taking the family away for the weekend, which then goes off the rails when they are contacted by the occupants of a scary old mansion, and asked to go there and do business. Arriving in a torrential downpour, they are greeted by the butler and persuaded to stay the night in one of the beautiful rooms. That's when the fun starts...
For a children's movie, this creeped me out quite a bit, and I actually enjoyed it a lot more than I anticipated i would. Murphy is very funny, and his two children are adorable.

(HORROR) Scorned - 2013 ***

I must admit I do enjoy films about psychotic women paying back their cheating spouses in a variety of terrifying and horrendous ways. I think it makes an exciting film.
Here we have no exception. Except the cheating spouse is a very bald Billy Zane and his scorned lover is a totally unhinged maniac.
After finding out that her boyfriend of 6 months (it's hardly a long term thing!) has done the dirty on her with her best friend (strange how often that happens), Sadie lures her friend to the holiday house she and Zane are staying that, and proceeds to torture them both, in various ways that will make you wince.
The story isn't original in any way and doesn't really have much of a point to it, but the acting from McCord is superb (she was also excellent in the disturbing "Excision" which was equally disturbing.

Moving - 1988 ****

I think Richard Pryor deserves more credit for being a comedian than he gets. He's extremely funny, and remarkably versatile when it comes to different characters.
The job of a lifetime comes up for Arlo Pear with a big pay rise, more responsibility, and generally everything he could wish for. The only problem with this is that it means moving his family from their comfy home in New Jersey, to the outskirts of Idaho. Not only does he have to deal with his stubborn teenage daughter, who would rather marry a pimp than up sticks with him,, but he also has to coordinate the psychotic neighbour next door who keeps setting his remote controlled plane on him, as well as a group of thuggish furniture movers who break all his possessions and then demand payment for doing so.
I found this a really funny film, and I hadn't heard of it before doing some research on Richard, so it's a bit of a lost gem as well.

Meatballs - 1979 *

Bill Murray (annoying as ever) ruins scene after scene in the worst 'summer camp' movie ever.
Along the way, he embarrasses children, shouts a lot, letches after a fellow worker, plays immature tricks on people, and generally is a giant nuisance to everyone involved. Murray is not a good choice for this role, but then again, who would be?!

(HORROR) Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things - 1972 *

'Children Shouldn't play with Dead Things' is too unfunny to be a comedy, and too unscary to be a horror. It doesn't really fit into one category. There is one thing it is however, and that is ridiculously bad. The quality, both of the acting and of the film itself is dire. The plot is ludicrous ( about zombies and criminals and digging up bodies, all in the worst possible lighting). The director went on to direct 'Black Christmas' which is actually quite a good horror, but also directed 'Porky's' which is a ridiculous 'coming of age' comedy that makes everyone cringe now. It is clear he didn't know which genre to stick with.

(FILM NOIR) The Clay Pigeon - 1949 ***

A man wakes from a coma in hospital to discover he has been court marshaled and accused of treason against his former inmates at a Japanese prisoner of war camp. Desperate to prove his innocence he turns up at his best friend's house, unaware that he has been accused of his murder. His wife, after initially wanting to get him arrested, decides to give him the benefit of the doubt and goes with him to search for the true murderers of her husband.
It's not a bad film, but not one of the stronger film noirs.

(NOIR) Fog Island - 1945 ***

A poorly done "B'' movie about a group of people invited to an old man's house at Fog Island. He invites them there under the pretext that they will be given some of his inheritance but he actually wants to uncover which of them murdered his dead wife. I was surprised but happy to see Jerome Cowan of the 'Fred and Ginger' films taking a moderate sized part here, but the quality of the film was so dire that a lot of the time it was hard to differentiate who was who.

Critical Condition - 1987 ***

Richard Pryor movies are always over the top and very silly. Especially the ones where he's paired up with Gene Wilder. He may be 'acting solo' here, but he's still pretty funny. Here he plays Kevin, a con man who is threatened with jail after being caught smuggling jewellery. Desperate to avoid a prison sentence, he pretends that he is insane (the courtroom scene in which he does this is totally improvised, and hilarious) and as a result is carted off to a mental hospital. When he arrives at the hospital a power surge renders the whole place in darkness and without medical equipment and he has to pose as a qualified doctor in order to escape. Escaping isn't so easy however when patients begin to need urgent treatment and he has to jump in and help them, despite not having a clue what he is doing. It's almost slapstick in some ways, but definitely has Pryor's manic, psychotic slant on it.
Funny.

(NOIR) A Woman's Secret - 1949 ***

Susan (Gloria Grahame) lies on the floor shot. Marian (Maureen O'Hara) is found leaning over her with a gun. But is the story as black and white as it seems (did you see what i did there with the black and white...?)
Actually it's not. We discover that Susan is the young protegee of Marian, a popular singer who loses her voice and is desperate to find a replacement. It's a tiny bit like 'All About Eve' but with singing instead of acting. Luke (Melvyn Douglas) is her piano player, and to be honest he's my favourite character (and actor) in the film. He has enough gusto to keep it going, without stepping on the two lead actresses toes. When Susan becomes popular herself, (and appears to catch the eye of Luke, this makes Marian rather jealous. She wants a replacement, but not at the cost of her relationship or career. O'Hara isn't a bad actress, but I've never been particularly into her work, and although Gloria Grahame is the typical femme fatale in noir, she didn't appear to be at her best either.
Worth a watch though, although as one critic remarked - 'There's too much unintended mystery about A Woman's Secret for it to be anything but spotty entertainment'. Sadly I think that might be right.

(NOIR) The Big Bluff - 1955 ***

For a 'typical film noir' The Big Bluff  is quite good. Produced by Billy Wilder's overlooked (and much less talented) brother W. Lee Wilder might've given it a bit of credit. Alas it did not. And acting-wise it was rather shoddy, which spoilt it tremendously.
After a chance meeting and quick marriage, a wealthy fortune hunter hopes to cash in on his terminally ill wife's inheritance, but when he discovers that the 'last holiday' they are taking together is actually improving her health considerably, he and his lover have to resort to other startling tactics to get the money.
I like how the idea of 'The Big Bluff' is actually the bluff of the marriage and the relationship which the would-be killer has to keep up the pretence of for a lot longer that originally hoped.
Apart from that however, it's predictable and not very strong.

The Big Wedding - 2013 **

Considering the massive stellar cast I was disappointed at this rather unfunny 'comedy' about a motley crew of characters when all congregate together when a relative is getting married. Robert De Niro is the father who has to pretend that he is still happily married to Diane Keaton in order to convince his son's stepmother of the traditional ways of their family. In reality he has been in a relationship with Susan Sarandon for eight years.  What follows are a series of embarrassing moments as the wedding gets closer.
Its moderately okay, but it wasn't as good as I had hoped.

(HORROR) The Last Exorcism Part II - 2013 **

After the pandemonium of the first 'Exorcism' film, this second one follows Nell in the years after her exorcism. Believing that is cured from her past experiences, she takes a job as a chambermaid in a hotel and lives in a girl's home. However, it is not long before she starts experiencing strange things, and a close relationship with a co-worker at the hotel that appears to be going well ends in tragedy.
I didn't enjoy this as much as the first film, and couldn't quite come to grips with Nell as a normal girl in a normal environment.

The Sadist - 1963 *

If it wasn't for the plot, 'The Sadist' would've fallen by the wayside a long time ago. It was notably the first film to be based on Charles Starkweather and Caril Fugate, the loved up couple who went on a killing spree in the late 1950s in Nebraska.
Here we have 'The Sadist' and his moronically monosyllabic girlfriend, holding up three teachers who come into car trouble at an old junkyard. The whole film is basically 'The Sadist' grinning and laughing and pointing a gun at the hostages, while his girlfriend 'Jodeee' sits on a wall merrily swinging her legs and swigging coca cola. The Sadist appears to be cross-eyed, as well as sporting a crop of remarkable 'Beach Boyesque' floppy hair so his whole appearance is all the more terrifying. If he's trying to portray James Dean, he's failing miserably.

Antiviral - 2012 ***

Imagine if you were so obsessed with a celebrity that you chose to have a virus that they are suffering from have injected into your body. This film is about just that. A clinic which uses viruses from sick celebrities to inject into crazed fans who are hoping to 'become connected' to their idols. It is of course, quite likely that you will die if the virus is bad enough. The injections and treatments are all performed in a very controlled and serious way, almost as if the idea is normal. This is what makes the film so terrifying. There are also 'butcher' shops that fans can go to to buy meat that is grown from the cells of celebrities. The whole film is really twisted. To be honest, it reminds me a bit of 'Delicatessen' and I will probably think about it for days.
Although the film is meant to shock because of it's plot, I suspect that maybe the director was trying to get across the vast obsession we as as population have with famous people, and how being besotted with these individuals can sometimes damage our health and put our lives at stake.
Quirky and dark, morbidly terrifying and original.

(HORROR) The Resident - 2011 ***

Tough, no nonsense Hilary Swank stars as Juliet, a young woman who moves into what she believes is her perfect apartment after breaking up with her cheating boyfriend, but soon starts to believe that she is being stalked by somebody close by. At the same time, Max, the man she is renting the apartment from begins to make his feelings for her known, and the couple get closer. But there is something wrong, and when Juliet decides to start seeing her ex-boyfriend again, Max is not happy. Not happy at all.
I quite liked this, but found it dragged on a bit after the first hour or so. It was quite predictable and that might be what made my mind wander towards the end. Still a good watch though.

The Black Widow Murders: The Blanche Taylor Moore Story - 1993 **

Blanche Taylor Moore is a well known name in America. And this story chronicles the murders committed by her of two of her husbands as well as her father, all by arsenic.
I found Elizabeth Montgomery to be infuriating as Blanche, which probably proves what a good job she was doing. I definitely didn't ever feel sorry for Blanche as a character or a human being. She got what was coming to her, and had no remorse for any of her actions.
I have seen better 'straight - to - television movies about murders and their perpetrators and so wouldn't rank this particularly high on my list, despite the subject matter.

Delivery Man - 2013 **

Only Vince Vaughn could willingly take part in such a stupid film and get away with it.
David is an underachiever who works at his family butcher shop, and earns ridiculously low pay. To make matters worse, he is being chased by scary men who are after a huge amount of drug money from him that he will not be able to repay. Oh, and his girlfriend has just found out that she is pregnant.
Things are not going well for him. But one day when he comes back from work, he is confronted by a lawyer who tells him that because of his regular sperm donations years and years ago he has fathered 533 children.
142 of these children have started a lawsuit against the fertility clinic to release the identity of the man who fathered them.
Eager to see how his brood has turned out, David stalks each of his children, finding any little thing he can do to start a conversation of give them some support.
Before long, the thugs catch up with him, and he decides to sue the sperm bank for damages.
It's a very silly, and completely ridiculous film, and I must say, that although Vince Vaughn is quite funny, I'm getting a bit fed up of him playing the same pathetic characters in each movie.

Labor Pains - 2009 ***

Mildly amusing comedy about a young woman named Thea who fakes a pregnancy to stop herself from getting fired from her horrible boss.
Lindsay Lohan isn't a bad actress (it is after all what she became famous for years ago) and walking around pretending you are pregnant for the whole film isn't the easiest thing to do.
As time goes by, Thea gets caught up in the lie of being pregnant, and even starts to have feelings for a co-worker who takes pity on her when she splits up with her 'fiance'.
It's not going to win any awards, but it's still quite funny, and worth a watch.

The Bling Ring - 2013 ***

I'm pretty obsessed with the Bling Ring at the moment. I've been reading up on the true story avidly for some time, watched the film and got the book. I'm not sure what it is about the events that have captured my attention so much, but there appears to be a fine line between the fact that what the group did was illegal, but also that they did something so brazen and gutsy that they have amassed a great deal of admirers. They are in effect, now celebrities in their own right, which is ironic considering the reasons they committed the crimes was down to an obsession with fame and fortune.
They are idolized but hated at the same time. That's what makes the story all the more jaw dropping.
Although the character's names have been changed in the film it's quite obvious who is meant to be who. Emma Watson is the standout character, playing the role of Nikki (based on Alexis Neiers, who I have to say is my 'favourite' member of The Bling Ring). She and her friends live in the affluent area of Calabasas in California. By all accounts they have everything they could want. Except for one thing. They are all celebrity obsessed and fame hungry. One evening, the lead of the group Rebecca (based on Rachel Lee) takes a new friend from school to Paris Hilton's house after finding out that she will be away at an awards ceremony that night. Her friend comments that only Paris Hilton would be stupid enough to leave her house key under the mat. He is correct. They enter the house and in Rebecca's own words "go shopping", making off with money, bags, clothes and alcohol from Paris's house. This triggers off a chain of robberies that lead to the notorious group of 7 being known as the 'Bling Ring'. I am fascinated by what drives these people. I am also fascinated by how easy it is to rob a celebrity's house. The film alone is maybe not outstanding (although it does have a beautiful Sofia Coppola theme and cinematography) but if you put it with the real facts as well as the novel you have one explosive, controversial subject that will go down in the annuals of celebrity for years to come.

(NOIR) C-Man - 1949 *

Very poor Noir with Dean Jagger, who plays an Agent on the trail of the murderers of his best friend and boss. It's badly acted, (laughable in places) and incredibly fake. In some scenes Jagger quite obviously fake punches his assailants and the sound is added later. Added to which the quality is horrendous. It's not on par with other noirs I have seen and it's a pity that it doesn't have a higher respect for itself.

Warm Bodies - 2013 *

'Warm Bodies' probably only really strikes a cord for the obsessive 'Twilight/The Walking Dead' fans who enjoy the surreal 'dead boy/alive girl' ratio.
That annoying bloke from 'About a Boy' spends his days wandering around 'undead' in an airport after a post-apocalyptic disaster with loads of other zombies craving human flesh. He bumps into a girl who isn't 'undead' and falls for her. It's like a horrendous zombie Romeo and Juliet escapade.
I didn't like it.

Savage Grace - 2007 **

'Sensual and Decadent' this film has been quoted as. So I must have missed something. Sad really because I was looking forward to seeing this as I had done some research on the case earlier.
There was nothing sensual about this story, and even Julianne Moore could not save the day in her portrayal of the mentally unhinged Barbara Daly Baekland who went down in the annuals of true crime as the murder victim of her schizophrenic son Tony.
The true story is interesting, but the film doesn't appear to cover much about the growing incestuous relationship between Barbara and Tony 9apart from a horrible scene towards the end which we really didn't need to see.) I didn't see much regarding Tony's ever changing mental state which would ultimately be his undoing, more that he was simply sexually provocative.
For information it's best to go online and read up in detail about the story instead of watching this. 

The Starving Games - 2013 ***

Obviously it would help if I had actually seen 'The Hunger Games', but even so, this was a silly and satirical look at what happens when you have to fight to the death... on an empty stomach! Winning a chicken and half a pickle will no doubt spur on the contestants, but being starving will inevitably drag the process out.
Funny film.

Weird Science - 1985 ****

A film I had never seen, 'Weird Science' delivers in all areas. It delivers for laughs, costumes, sci-fi and a beautiful woman.
Two friends, tired of being nerdy and unpopular, decide to create their own perfect woman on the computer (which, as you can imagine has the largest and most dated monitor you have ever seen) with hilarious and touching results. 'Lisa' is not only the most attractive woman they have ever seen, but is willing to do whatever they ask her to.
A funny if rather dated movie now, but definitely worth a watch.