Thelma and Louise - 1991

Someone said get a life, so they did.

I know Ridley Scott is said to be a fantastic director, but am I alone when I didn't think altogether highly of this movie?Probably. Fine it's supposed to exude womanhood and free spirits etc but I just didn't find much to clasp onto here. A housewife and a waitress decide to go on a road tripand all hell breaks loose when Susan Sarandon shoots a man trying to rape Geena Davis and they end up on the run. Err I feel like this has been done before. The dialogue wasn't up to much and although there were some funny moments, the movie was not consistently good enough to warrent a good high rating although I did like the ending (maybe because they were both getting on my nerves.) Sorry Ridley, better luck next time.

Rating 2/5

Hoboken Hollow - 2005

You won't make it out alive.

As I'd only come upon this movie by chance I wasn't expecting much from it. And as expected I didn't get anything out of it either! Apparently this movie is based on a real story (yeah yeah we know they never come to light)about an infamous Texas ranch in the 1980's where young drifters were picked up when they were hitchhiking and given food and bedding and promised work. However if they don't work up to scratch they won't live to see the dawn. So the story was pretty much that, with awful, pointless cameos of Dennis Hopper and Michael Masden. The acting was over-the-top but also very weak and I didn't enjoy it at all.

Rating 1.5/5

Wishing Stairs - 2003

Watch your step.

I wasn't completely aware when I bought this that it was part of a trilogy namely the third after Memento Mori and Whispering Corridors. However the good thing about Tartan Asia is that each film can be watched individually and not follow as a sequel etc. So this movie was a pretty scary experience for me. A story of a boarding school where girls visit the 'Wishing Stairs' nearby to make wishes regarding love and life. The story goes that if you climb the 28 stairs repeating each number out loud, a 29th will appear and grant you a wish. Something that you can only imagine happening in somewhere like Japan or Korea. I realy liked the idea of this plot, and it does touch upon other fantasies such as The Monkey's Paw etc. I cannot say that this movie is straightforward horror because there are elements in it about relationships and friendships that centre almost upon drama. But the premise is a good, haunting movie about being careful what you wish for.

Rating 3.5/5

Lucky Jim - 1957

Oh Lucky, Lucky Jim!

This movie brings back memories. I haven't seen it for years but even on the new viewing I am still as pleased and moved to laugh out loud that I was then. Ian Carmichael and of course the unmistakable Terry Thomas come together in this hilarious story of university life in 1950s London. Carmichael as the bumbling, careless and unpredictable lecturer and Thomas as the posh English cad who is interested in the gir that Carmichael is!! Chaos as you would imagine is common and most amusing, so stock up on English Breakfast Tea and crumpets and get ready to laugh yourself silly!

Rating 4/5

The Invisible - 2007

Life, death and something in between.

The idea for this film is nothing if not creepy. A teenage boy gets mistakenly attacked by the resident school gang over an earlier incident involving the lead girl stealing jewellery from the local store. She without a moment's remorse leaves him for dead buried in the forest. What happens then is something very weird indeed, for the boy's spirit, obviously on the verge of life or death leaves his body and begins to follow his mother and the lead girl around hoping that somehow the girl will have a change of heart and save him before it is too late. A novel concept indeed and one that has to be seen to be believed. Although I must admit that certain parts annoyed me immensely, many others touched me, and so this cannot be an altogether bad film.

Rating 4/5

88 Minutes - 2008

88 minutes to solve a murder. His own.

Imagine if your received a phone call from someone telling you that you had 88 minutes to live and you had no idea ho they were. What would you do. This is the problem faced by Forensic psychiatrist and college lecturer Jack Gramm who one day takes a call that wil change his whole life forever. Pacino in a very different and complex role to his usual variety with support from Benjamin McKenzie and Alicia Witt and his unassuming students. A good idea at best but not much substance to this movie although in its defence it is shot for exactly 88 minutes (from the time he receives the call and the time he ends it) not speeded up or slowed down, so that we can take the jorney with him as the time goes by. A good concept that falls rather flat by the time we reach the end.

Rating 3/5

Taken - 2008

The time for revenge has come.

Yes yes yes, finally a film with quality actng, quality storyline and an emotional intensity that is so rare in films nowadays. Liam Neeson is outstanding as the ex-bouncer whose daughter goes to Paris for the first time with her friend and is mercilessly kidnapped by unknown men. Such is the acting that even when Neeson is bashing and smashing heads together by the dozen you still feel an enormous amount of pain for him, for his loss. I found this story complex, yet fine to follow and equally uncomfortable when I realised that the route of all the kidnapping was actually very real and common problem nowadays.

An amazing film, one that will really tug at your heartstrings and make you feel glad that you are safe at home.

Rating 4.5/5

Wild Child - 2008

She'll like totaly ruin your life.

Contrary to other reviewers I actually thought this was a pretty funny film. The whole idea of a blonde bimbo from U.S.A moving to go to school in England where pupils actually want to learn is hardly a new idea, but new star Emma Roberts seems to light up the screen with her ultra cheery and crude manner. Not one if your planning on exerting willpower but one definately to watch if you want a silly, pointless giggle.

Rating 3.5/5

Dracula - 1991

True Love never dies

Well I should have said it before, this is what I get for thinking remakes of old and genuinely scary movies may actually be a good reason to switch on for over 2 hours. What a surprise to find out that this movie really held none of the suspension, terror or panic that 'Nosferatu' or 'Dracula' starring Bela Lugosi did. The acting was barely watchable, and I was astonished to find one of my favourite actors Anthony Hopkins in a role that barely supported him. Winona Ryder appeals to me very rarely and here she was just a mess of a part, as was Keanu Reeves as the 'strong and faithful' Jonathan Harker. So faithful in fact that he took part in sexual grinding with three monsterous looking women on a bed in Dracula's castle. I am aware Harker's character is meant to be taken advantage of by Dracual's female vampires but in earlier versions of the story he does not appear to be gagging to have sexual intercourse like he does here. The story of Dracula is meant to be sexual and passionate but here it goes too far. Because of this and because I feel so protective over the earlier films I cannot rate this highly.

Rating 2.5/5

The Jane Austen Book Club

You don't have to know the books to be in the club.

The only reasons I wanted to see this was because of Emily Blunt starring ans also because I figured there would be consistent talk of Jane Austen, whom I adore, but I was sad to say the film really revolved more around relationships of the characters and only centred around Jane Austen for about 15 minutes of the film. Emily Blunt is a fantastic actress, I have seen her in three things now and her fresh vibrant attitude to her characters is really great. I have not read the book of this film and maybe that would have been wise before watching the movie. Some fun performances but nothing to get excited about.

Rating 3/5

Marnie - 1964

All the signs lead to red.

I remember vaguely trying to watch this a couple of years ago and being so bored that I switched off after about 15 minutes. However a few days ago I decided to give it another go, partly because I seem to give up on too many films and partly because of my Hitchcock boxset aquired last year that includes Marnie, and I would feel too guilty if I didn't watch that one and saw all the others. Anyway I wouldn't say this film was a blockbuster by any means, especially when you consider such classics as Rear Window and Vertigo (which I have yet to see, but know that it holds high critical aclaim)but it still has something terribly Hitchcockian about it (is that a word?)that makes it perfectly watchable. Marnie is a compulsive liar and theif with an unusual family secret. Sean Connery plays her new employer who, becoming aware of her situation decides to try and help her instead of booting her off to jail. Tippi Hedren's performance is good, but it doesn't pack a punch nearly as well as the brilliant 'The Birds.' It upsets me to have to rate a Hitchcock film lower than 4 out of five because I consider him to be a genius, bu I feel that on the scales of greatness this movie narrowly missed the mark.

Rating 3/5

The Pursuit of Happyness - 2006

It will be worth it.

What a powerful and beautifuly acted movie. Will Smith yanks on our heart strings by acting next to his young son Jaden Smith who is adorable in this tale of unlucky circumstances which come about after Smith's partner walking out on him and her son. Imagine the worst day you could ever have and then multiply that by ten and you have only a shed of how Christopher Gardner feels when he looses his job, is evicted from his home and gets arrested all at the same time. To read reviews you may get the impression that this film is funny, and there are some lighthearted parts, but mostly it concentrates on Gardner's relationship with his son and how he constantly keeps his spirits up and support him, even when they are forced to sleep in a public bathroom. Absolutey heartbreaking but amazingly reassuring at the end. An award winning film.

Rating 5/5

Leatherheads - 2008

In the beginning the rules were simple, there weren't any.

I'm so happy to see George Clooney in a film set in my favourite decade - 1920s and pleased to say he really suits the Jazz age and is able to keep that humour which he carries with him in certain films. Renee Zellweger is infuriating in pretty much any role she takes except for Bridget Jones and I think I would probably have rated this movie higher if she hadn't been in it. However some strong acting and a fantastic soundtrack make this fim good enough for me,, with an added bonus of some really authentic costumes.

Rating 3.5/5

Kung Fu Panda - 2008

Prepare for awesomeness

Supposedly the animated film of the year this cute and funny film certainly kept me entertained for the duration, although I do not agree with such a prestigeous title, when I consider such brilliant movies like Ratatouille and Monsters Inc to be highly superior. Po the panda has always wanted learn Kung Fu but is so lazy that it would never happen, however by a fluke of nature he ends up being trained as the chosen one to defeat enemies at the Jade Palace. Jack Black lends his voice to Po and is suitably amusing. However the film wasn't quite as exciting as I had been led to believe by the fantastic reviews.

Rating 3/5

Eagle Eye -2008

If you want to live then you will obey.



I really love films like this where unknown people are chosen out of millions and thrown together to decipher essages or codes to do with government plots etc. This in essence is a really scary film, not because of blood or guts, but because of how technology is now produced and used. Shia Le Beouf and Michelle Monaghan (whom I find a tedious actress) wind up together after both receiving phone calls from an unknown woman who seems to be abe to track their every move and know all about them. Together they are pushed into terrifying situations by this mysterious woman who can control them by simply speaking to them on the telephone. Fair enough you may find this film unrealistic, I mean episodes like this don't happen, but when you think of the government and also George Orwell's 1984 you almost feel like it could. Brilliant performance from Beouf who I think is going to become a mega star of the screen in the next few years.



Rating 4/5

The Butterfly Effect - 1997

Change the future, through the past.

I know that this is one of those moies that people seem to be bowled over because it deals with time and past events coming back to haunt characters but for me it was a complete mess of situations and relationships. I think the idea of being able to go back in time to change the future by doing things differently is a good concept but a lot of events weren't consistent enough to make any sense. If the plot carried itself properly then there would be no room for holes and misconceptions but sadly this was not the case, and while the film started off well it floundered and fell within the first half an hour.

Rating 2/5

Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny - 2006

The Greatest Motion Picture of All Time!

I'm not sure what to make of this movie. I didn't really enjoy it but there were funny parts. Jack Black teeters on the verge of funny and irritating in his films and in this I found him simply irritating. I realise this is supposed to be the story of how Jack Black and Kyle Gass got together but I still found barely anything to take away from this except the joy that it had come to an end!

Rating 2/5

Felon - 2008

No rules, no hope, no way out.

What starts as a pretty awful incident where a man (Stephen Dorff) confronts an intruder trying to burgle his house leads to a hefty jail sentence for attempted murder which becomes absolute hell. Dorff plays the innocent man painfully realistically and we are transported to a brutal world of violence and abuse where the prison guards are almost as violent as the inmates. Harold Perrineau is brilliant as Lt Jackson (I spent most of the film going 'are you sure that's not the guy from Romeo and Juliet?' It was!) I find him a really stimulating actor who can get right into his parts, almost like a method actor, it is a shame I haven't seen more of his films.

Some great acting on all parts, although seeing an ageing, overweight Val Kilmer as Dorff's cellmate is a rather scary experience, no more Iceman there.

Rating 3/5

Step Brothers - 2008

They grow up so fast.

You would be forgiven for thinking that the idea of two 40 year old men becoming step brothers sounds pretty unfunny but when it's Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly you have to laugh. Both sons find a mutual friendship in becoming step brothers after their divorced parents find love with each other and will go to any lengths to make sure they stay together... This film had me laughing out loud and I do recommend it to anyone who has a sense of humour or a soft spot for keeping their children staying at home years longer than they should!

Rating 4/5

Hammer Horror's: The Viking Queen - 1967

The most barbaric spectacle brought to the screen!

One should always be curious about a film starring a woman with no second name. And indeed this film, whilst compared to the popular 'SHE' flopped abominably at the box office. Carita, the young Finnish star of the movie does a good enough job as the Viking Queen Salina, but something seems to be missing here. Other characters are paper-thin and the relationships do not seem to mesh well together. I am personally very interested in the Viking and Roman relationship and so was hoping for something that may resemble a realistic situation. I don't actually think any of this had a shred of reality in it. I woud probably choose this over SHE regardless of the fact this did much less internationally than the other.

Rating 3/5

Hammer Horror's: The Reptile - 1966

The Terror of the Reptile!

What a weird film. Actually a pretty scary attempt at horror. A young married couple move to a village to the husband's recently deceased brother's house. The locals are weird and have a problem with the couple being there, and are also uncomfortable about the way his brother died...Some unsettling scenes here and a humourous performance from John Laurie as Mad Peter.

Rating 3/5

Hammer Horror's: The Horror of Frankenstein - 1970

Brilliant and misunderstood scientist finds a way of experimenting.

Months and months ago I stayed up very late to watch a film on tv based on Frankenstein and never gt the chance to see the title. This weekend I found with delight that my Hammer Horror dvd collection included the very same movie! I really like this version of Frankenstein and was captivated with this until the end. The acting is actually really strong, especially from Ralph Bates as Frankenstein and regardless of Peter Cushing or Christopher Lee's absence, I still found this movie to be much better than other Hammer films.Would definately watch it again.

Rating 4/5

Hammer Horror's: SHE - 1965

SHE must be obeyed.

Apparently this movie was a universal success on it's release, and while there are moments (and costumes!) worthy of aclaim, the storyline appears to waver slightly in parts, and the lead character is the most obnoxious man I have seen so far in Hammer Horror, constantly flitting form one woman to the next without a shred of regard for their feelings. Obviously I'm looking at this from a female perspective as I'm sure any man watching would think of him as some kind of stud. Ursula Andress was suitably beautiful as SHE but her part did not really give us enough of a glimpse into her character, and I know that she didn't return for the sequel which will mean that when I finally get round to watching that I will have to adjust myself to the new actress in her place. This film could never be seen as anything other than a fantasy, non realistic and non factual, however it does have a nice Hammer feel about it and it is worth a look.

Rating 3/5

Pineapple Express - 2008

Put this is your pipe and smoke it.

Seth Rogan seems to be in everything at the moment. And sometimes he can get on my nerves. However this movie (unlike the horribly unsuccessful 'Hard Boiled' ) did pack a few punches with some funny scenes including a stoned Seth Rogan climbing a tree imagining he'sitting on a big fluffy bear and the obviously gay friend of his drug dealer who will not die, regardless of the amount of bullet wounds in his body. Some of it is mediocre piffel and will appeal more to young teenage boys who enjoy weed, but there is enough humour in this movie to keep most people happy. James Franco is a most amusing character who I would like to see in other films, no one can act as a drug dealer in a more refined way.

Rating 3.5/5