500 (Days of Summer) - 2009 * * * * 1/2

This is not a love story. This is a story about love.

I went into this film barely knowing what to expect and came out really happy that I had seen something that wasn't a 'typical' hollywood rom-com. I don't think I would even call this movie a comedy. It's very dark in places and depicts a real life relationship very well. The story is told as a serious of flashbacks and scenes where we start at the end of the 500 days and work backwards, sometimes stopping to go forwards. We meet Tom, an intelligent yet shy man who falls head over heels in love with a new member of staff named Summer at his work and proceeds to go out of his way to try to win her over. The only problem is that Summer is not interested in a serious relationship and is not prepared to change her views now, she even makes the point that she doesn't believe in love much to Tom's bewilderment, but this doesn't change his feelings for her. Through the course of the film we see the ups, the downs and the cracks that begin to appear as Summer and Tom start to realise what they both want from the relationship. And it's not the same thing.

Brilliantly acted and so refreshing to see a 'real' relationship on screen. Recommended.

Away Days - 2009 *

Run With the pack.

Yes I did see similarities to 'This is England' like it mentions on the front cover, but except for that this film was dead in the water. Seriously it was so badly done it made me laugh. Trying to rip off 'Green Street' and 'Rise of the Footsoldier' wasn't the cleverest idea, and the characters were so unlikeable and so arrogant that I started to think, 'why should anyone care if your getting beaten up or losing pints of blood in the process, this is all your choice!' Added to which the accents were so bad I couldn't understand half of what they were saying.

Pointless and boring, with violence that was just stuck in there for a laugh, I have nothing credible to say about this film.

When Harry Met Sally - 1989 * * *

Can two friends who sleep together still love each other in the morning?

People always rave about the Meg Ryan 'trilogy' of romantic comedy movies - You've got mail, Sleepless in Seattle and this one, When Harry Met Sally. I'm now 2/3s through as I only have Sleepless left to see. This film actually surprised me a bit. It wasn't brilliantly acted but it was pretty funny nevertheless and Ryan and Crystal seem to bounce off each other with regards to quick witted comedy. The now infamous 'orgasm scene' was actually really funny even though I was waiting with clenched teeth for it to appear.

I guess this is the type of film that both men and women can enjoy although the whole 'can men and women be friends' debate actaully gets a bit tiring after a while.

Worth a watch but maybe no more than one.

Dead Mary - 2007 *

They were dying to meet her.

Ok, first off, why haven't I learned my lesson now? I watch awful horror film after awful horror film and still think I'll find a good, well acted scary one. I should except that this will never be. Horror is not the same anymore, and with the exception to Asian/Japanese Tartan Asia Extreme films, the same type of movie is being churned out in America and Canada constantly. I've seen so many horror films that I did end up guessing parts of this film, that was when I wasn't half asleep pinning my eyes open with matchsticks. The acting was dire, (who the hell is this Dominique Swain and why is everyone going on and on about her in their reviews, it certainly can't be for her acting ability) and the story was a pointless rip-off of films like 'Candyman' whilst the Bloody Mary story is overrated now. I heard rumours that the director wanted to call the film 'Bloody Mary' but was beaten in the race by another movie just being released, and so he thought of the name Dead Mary 'because most of the time you don't see the force, just the reactions of people who sense it' or some gibberish like that. Having a film with almost exactly the same story coming out at exactly the same time as this one must have said something to the director surely? That maybe we don't need two films about the same thing? But oh no, this was obviously going to be fantastic because he'd changed the name and if the story lagged a bit in the middle then we could enjoy close-ups of women's breasts and legs and thighs (when will director's learn that they aren't only trying to appeal to the male audience; if they want women to watch as well then stop with the soft-core women running around in bikinis or skimpy clothes while the cameraman has the best day of his life filming them from the chest down.)

All in all, bad story, stupid people and too much clevage for my liking (none would have been my preference and if any males think I'm trying to spoil their movie viewing pleasure, we'll see how they like it if a director stuck a load of half or fully naked men in the film, running around like idiots when there is no basis for this anywhere in the story.

Dans Ma Peau - 2002 * * * *

It will get under your skin.

I sort of compared this movie to AntiChrist (2009) because of the descent into madness by one woman whilst the male in her life tries to help her overcome it. Unlike AntiChrist however, the acting was far from good, although having Directed, Produced and acted in the same film could probably take it's toll on anyone. The story matter is pretty gruesome, about a young woman who, after falling on some machinery at a party ends up starting to cut herself more and more until she is actually removing pieces of her flesh in the process. You watch as she slowly goes mad, even going as far as to start stabbing her arm with her fork held under the table whilst at a work dinner. From the way she acts you can never tell whether she actually seems to be enjoying hurting herself or whether she is doing it because of a compelling need that she cannot shake. I can see why this movie has slipped into the horror genre and I must say it is the one film (except AntiChrist) that I have seen that actually left me feeling physically sick. The premise is so real, and the scenes are incredibly graphic, and that scares me more than a ghost or slasher movie, for many people actually act like this when they are going mad, and self harm is unfortunately not an uncommon thing. Fair enough it is questionable that someone would actually start eating their arm in the process, but it really makes you wonder how far someone would be prepared to go if they really are having some kind of breakdown. Although gruesome, I can see the initial message that Marina De Van is trying to put across, that we should be more aware of mental illness, and so on that score I think this film works. It certainly shocks you so much that anyone watching it would go to any lengths other than act the way she does. Although it really disturbed me whilst watching it (and after 2 viewings there is no way I can stomach a third) I think it achieved what it set out to do, and therefore it does deserve some kind of aclaim.

Little Fish - 2005 * *

The Past is right here.

Cate Blanchett can act, there is no doubt about that, but when she is stuck with an awful script like this depicting ex drug addicts hooking up with their ex partners who are still on the drugs you realise she won't be getting very far. This is a film shot with an independent feel, and sadly, although we have a cast of a few good actors we still can't get anything out of the story. It's not the gritty realism that I dislike, it's the utter hopelessness of it all that I can't stand. Maybe I am being unfair, and should be rating this movie higher because it's more realistic than many I have seen. However I feel that the direction and script feels so rigid that there is no way the story could ever work, howeverbleak and raw it appears to be on the surface.

The Gold Rush - 1925 * * *

The Little Tramp does good.

I've never seen Chaplin in a feature length movie and didn't think I'd be able to stand watching him for a full hour and a half. I mean he's funny but not that funny. The story is very funny which helped to keep my attention but I still found myself drifting off and thinking of other things. Chaplin can be hilarious, he really can, and several scenes found myself in hysterics, but after a while his 'feel sorry for myself' routine wears a bit thin. Keaton is funny throughout his movies but Chaplin isn't. I'm not saying the film wasn't good, only that if we were treated to half the length of it I may have rated it more, because by the time it got to the end I was bored and didn't actually care what happened to him! I will check out 'Modern Times' though to see if I feel the same way at the end of that.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - 2005 * * * * *

Sex, murder, mystery - Welcome to the party.

There is little I can say about this film except 'wow.' I think I have found my new favourite actor in Robert Downey Jnr, and this will now probably be one of my new favourite films. The minute I'd finished it I sat back and watched the whole thing again, laughing with the same guffaw as I had the last time. I doubt very much that this film will grow old or unwatchable as I find something different to enjoy and appreciate each time I see it (I've seen it 5 times since ). One of the reasons I am so pleased with this film is that actually it bases itself comically to the exact situations that you tend to find yourself seeing in regular murder mystery 'Hollywoodised' films. It knows it's prodding it's finger comically and wants you to do the same. It knows exactly what parts of Hollywood films you dislike and it encludes them, but only to make sure you laugh at the irony of the whole thing. Downey narrates for entirety of the movie and even at the end he speaks to the camera to engage with the audience. His quick wit, improvisation and remarkably clever screwball comedic mind (which could match the likes of Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn)is showcased to the best of its ability. His timing is genius, and watching him and Val Kilmer together (who I think was also full of laughs as 'Gay Perry') is a mighty enjoyable experience.
The other reason that I am so pleased I like this movie, (no actually, I love this movie) is that I thought it would be a guaranteed flop. I bought it, realising with dread that I'd never want to see it and hid it away immediatly, almost giving it away for free so that I would never have to see it. It makes me almost hysterical with joy to find out that a film I have prepared myself to despise is actually one of the funniest films I have ever seen (and I've seen a l0t of films) and has introduced me to a new actor and all his work which I look forward to collecting. Any film that has the balls to criticise the whole Hollywood 'franchise' of broken dreams and empty wallets whilst producing a film based on those exact things is going to score highly in my book.
Absolutely hilarious.

Ong Bak - 2003 * * * * *

'There are times for fight but by the same measure, there are times for flight.'

I'll be honest, I'd never been particularly bothered about watching this film. I'd bought it, and stuck it at the back of my DVD shelf, promptly forgetting about it. I took it out last night and decided to watch it.
I have never seen such fantastic and powerful martial arts in my life. Tony Jaa does all his own stunts, none of that pathetic 'give me a stunt double to film a scene crossing the road' stuff that American actors seem to do these days. There were no special effects either. Nothing except this man and his incredible body. This man can bend himself and move himself in ways that are almost unbelievable to watch. One memorable scene that sticks out in my mind features Jaa being chased through the streets by a gang of thugs. With effortless ease he runs over cars, under lorries and throws himself through a mound of barbed wire, the gap inside only measuring about the same size as a car tire. Watching him actually makes you believe he is on drugs, or at least some heavy steroids that enable him to use his body with such vigour and fearlessness. Fair enough, I'm sure any martial arts film fan would tell you that this story isn't up to much, but it really doesn't matter when you see this man perform his craft. It makes Hollywood actors look pathetic.

Gothika - 2004 * * *

Because someone is dead doesn't mean that they are gone.

Gothika is a puzzling film. And I understand that it did badly at the box office. For good reason in my opinion. Although this had the makings of a good ghostly horror film, there were far too many gaps and plot-holes that were never answered. I don't mind films where nothing is what it seems and then at the end you realise what actually happened, but I have to draw the line and films where you haven't really got a clue what is going on, and then it is suddenly the end and you feel like you've missed a big chunk of the film because nothing was really ever explained to you. Halle Berry is very good in her part, and I found her mental state to be a very realistic portrayal of how you would imagine a person like that to behave. Unfortunately so much of this film just didn't add up that I cannot rate it highly. The ending was ridiculous and I know from other reviewers that they were all left feeling slightly cheated as well. Robert Downey Jr's character was terribly unlikeable which was a shame, seeing as how I'd loved his character in 'Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang.'

Three stars are given for the acting ability, not the story.

Half Light - 2006 * *

Fear waits in the Half Light.

I really couldn't find anything credible in this film. Demi Moore is really an appalling actor, with perhaps the exception of one of my favourite movies 'Indecent Proposal'. The reality of a mother loosing her son in an accident and then rushing off to an island where she starts up a relationship with a random man doesn't seem highly likely to me. She leaves her home and her life with her husband to go and try writing on this island, telling him only that 'they can think about divorce when she comes back.' How irritating would that be if someone said that to you.

If a couple loses a child it is not just the mother who suffers. I found Moore's character immensly unlikeable and really felt the bare minimun of sympathy towards her as the film progressed.

The element of horror or thriller or whatever there was supposed to be was lukewarm at best, the ending came at you like a smack in the face- and a confusing and unneeded one at that. This film would have been better if it had been marketed as a drama about a mother's grief over a lost son instead of trying to stick in scary moments and ghostly images/goings on whenever there was a lull in concentration.

The Jackhammer Massacre - 2004 * * *

Self destruction is only the beginning.

With a name like 'Jackhammer Massacre' you can really only expect bad things from this movie. Shoddy camera work and over-the-top acting by people who are probably getting about 50 pence a day for their efforts. But I'm fairly open with movies and was happy to give it a go, even thinking it might be so bad that it would make me laugh.

The first thing I thought of after seeing the film was how little massacring actually occured. The story actually seemed to centre around a drug addict whose need for heroin causes him to go on a 'rampage' (he kills several people who do nothing but stand there and watch him as he sticks the machine in their gut). Fair enough it's not your usual massacre movie. The bloke does actually have a reason to go crazy, even though it's not exactly a good excuse. Some of the most disgusting scenes don't involve murder, but actually involve him injecting his already infected arm with more drugs and pouring bleach on his scars. Those scenes made me feel physically ill so I assume the desired efffect to put people off drug-taking worked. There were funny parts to the movie that I had already expected-people never seem to run fast enough in these films, added to which you can always tell when the movie has been shot by a man as we get long and extended views of women's breasts/bums. For a cheapy done film however this wasn't nearly as bad as I had expected and I had no problem watching it right through to the end; for once a murder film is made with an actual message.

11:14 - 2003 * * * * 1/2

Fate can change in seconds.

The most peculiar thing happened to me the other day. I saw an advert for this unknown movie before another film I watched and I became desperate to see it. The day afterwards, browsing my local DVD shop I found the exact same film. Most bizarre.

Anyway, all I can do is echo Amazon reviews who ask how this film went undetected upon it's release and was not even released at the cinema! It is most odd how many gastly films come out at the pictures to worldwide release, when many of them are dire, and all the time films like this pass us by. I have probably missed many brilliant films because of this.

The start of the film didn't really blow me away, in fact I was thinking to myself that it had been a waste of time to put it on. Then it got interesting, and I mean really interesting, and I realised I had to watch it right through to the end. The film jumps backwards and forwards in time whilst re-telling the story of one night when a drunk driver hits a girl and leaves her for dead. We then go backwards to the events that happened beforehand, and find out that all the characters we assume we are seeing for the first time, have all been connected in some way to lead them up to this event and how if it wasn't for small individual mistakes that they each make,which at the time don't seem very important, then the whole situation would never have happened. I know my garbled explanation doesn't sound like much but I have not seen such a clever or better made film in a long time. There are elements of humour as well that I think are the director's way of poking fun at certain aspects of the film, such as having sex in a graveyard, and Hilary's Swank's hilariously goofy portrayal of a gas station assistant, who tries to make her friend shoot her in the arm so that she can stage a robbery. Rachel-Leigh Cook is suitably slutty in her role and successfully manages to juggle three men all at once hoping to make money out of them.

I always know when I have seen a great film by two things - sitting there afterwards going 'wow', over and over again, and constantly thinking about the movie for days to come. I did both with this one. Not to be missed.