(HORROR) Motel Hell - 1980 *

'Motel Hell' is a cult classic. I would assume from those 2 words that it would mean it's a good film. But it's not. It's pitifully done, poorly acted, and really very bad in all aspects. Even the 'hilarious' play on words of 'Motel Hello' turning into Motel Hell doesn't raise a smile with me. It's just not funny. And the tone of the cinematography is that of low budget rubbish.
Literally all you need is the quote on the poster and you know the whole film ('It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent Fritters').

Take Me Home Night - 2011 **

A ghastly rom-com. None of the characters are likeable, they all seem to have one purpose in life - to get drunk and go to parties (except for Anna Faris who is the biggest attention seeker ever and keeps going on about having a letter from Cambridge but not wanting to open it).
There is the usual big, unfunny bloke with curly hair who doesn't have any aim or goal in his life, and there is the typical suit-wearing 'I'm quietly intelligent yet also a complete snob' bloke too.
All romantic comedies, or even comedies full stop nowadays are filled with stereotypical characters, and it really annoys me. Also, the woman that one of the pathetic men is after (usually one from school/uni/work/the one that got away) is not only a total b**** but also not much to look at. There, that wraps up the film. Lots of drinking, doing drugs, trying to get off with women who are horrible, and soul searching about how pathetic life can be.
Not what you would call an uplifting film.
2 stars for 'Video Killed the Radio Star' at the beginning.

Heroine - 2012 ***

'Heroine' is an ironically bittersweet movie about the highs and lows of celebrity.
A young actress at the peak of her profession gradually becomes overshadowed by newer talent, causing her to take up low budget and independent films that hurt her career. She is also in the middle of a messy relationship with a co-star, who soon replaces her for someone else.
At the start she is a diva, and towards the end she is at her lowest ebb.
It's fascinating to watch really, as I'm sure film stars do have to deal with this sort of thing constantly. Always watching their back for the 'newer model' and knowing that one wrong word or picture can leave them with nothing.
Filming was marred for a time when one a rising star ( Meenakshi Thapar )who had a bit part in the film was kidnapped and murdered by 2 colleagues she met on the set. This, and the story matter, makes the film seem all the more gritty and real. Very sad what people will do for celebrity and money.
Worth a watch if you love Bollywood, beautiful dresses and catchy tunes however. 

The Birdcage - 1996 *****

The Birdcage is screamingly funny, and to be honest the laughs from Robin Williams and his super camp partner (Nathan Lane) are regular and bounteous. 
Armand (Williams) enjoys his life as the owner of a popular drag club called 'The Birdcage' where his partner Albert performs as 'Starina' on a regular basis.
Apart from their occasional hissy fits, the two live happily together. That is, until Armand's son Val announces that he is getting married. His future father-in-law is a Republican Senator and has very old-fashioned and narrow-minded views about homosexuality. With this in mind, Val suggests that Albert 'disappears' for a few days so that the impression can be given of a 'normal' family when the bride-to-be's parents come to visit. Agreeing to this, Armand decides to track down his ex wife to play the role convincingly, not counting on Albert upstaging the whole evening.
Very funny, enjoyable, easy going and entirely good-natured. Must be watched.

The First Wives Club - 1996 ****

After the suicide of their dear friend over her failed marriage, 3 women decide to get together and form a club based on women who are dumped by their husbands for younger models. Wanting at first to get even, they realise soon after that the best way they can make their ex spouses suffer is to become successful and happy.

A feel good film, with three great actresses all bumping shoulders (and singing too!) 

Virtual Lies - 2012 **

'Virtual Lies' is what happens when sad, middle aged men who are bored in their marriages find solace in chatting to women online. This is what happens to Jamie when her husband Will gets drawn into the shadowy world of cyber-chatting to a woman named Allison. When his wife finds out, Will decides to stop speaking to Allison, but she has other ideas and won't let him go that easily.

Mediocre film. 

Working Girl - 1988 ***

'Working Girl' seems to be a bit of an excuse to try and "big up" women in the workplace. It seems to try far too hard to defend how hard women have it, but comes across as a bit desperate. 

Griffith plays Tess, a woman who goes from one job to the next and finally stumbles on what she thinks is her dream position working for the professional Katherine Parker. However the dream is short lived when Katherine goes off sick and Tess discovers that she has been trying to land a deal using one of her ideas as her own. 

Get mad? Or get even? 

Harrison Ford is quite amusing, but I think the standout character is Joan Cusack who quite literally steals each scene she shares with Griffith. 

I didn't mind the film, but it definitely doesn't rank amoung the best rom-coms I've seen.

(HORROR) Deadly Blessing - 1981 **

Stunningly bad horror where nothing much happens except lots of bad acting and stupid murders. If Sharon Stone was put in this to boost ratings it failed miserably. One scene involving a spider stands out. Horrible cyanotype style filter made the film even worse.

Loser - 2000 ***

'Loser' is one of the group of 'old school' rom-coms that was very popular in 2000. 

Jason Biggs and Mena Suvari seem to have disappeared into obscurity now, but were immensely popular at the end of the 1990s.

Here, Biggs plays Paul, a nerdy but dedicated student working hard to get a scholarship who falls in love with Dora, a quirky yet troubled student who is finding it hard to make ends meet in her financially, as well as keeping her relationship with her college lecturer quiet.

I liked it, although usually Jason Biggs is too much to bare. 

Zoolander - 2001 ****

'Zoolander' must have the biggest number of celebrity cameos in any film I have ever seen. But when Ben Stiller is around anything is possible. And with Ben Stiller, you know that Owen Wilson will not be far behind.
Stiller is Zoolander, a vain and narcissistic male model who constantly rivals Hansel (Wilson) in the 'top model' stakes. At his latest award show, Hansel steals the title of 'Best Model' from Zoolander, mortifying him, and sending him into hiding (a mean article in the local paper by journalist Matilda doesn't help matters.)
Meanwhile, Mugatu, a prolific fashion mogul, (played campishly by Will Ferrell) decides that he needs to recruit a male model to assassinate the Prime Minister of Malaysia who is trying to put a ban on cheap child labour.
Before long, Zoolander is in the firing line as a possible assassin and can only save himself by recruiting his arch nemisis Hansel.
Rather over the top film, but packed full of humor and quirky moments (it is obvious that Stiller and Wilson are best friends off set, because their chemistry is spot on). Must see.

Bird on a Wire - 1990 ***

Mel Gibson's ponytail is ridiculous. I thought he was supposed to be a 90s pinup!
When Rick is given a new identity by the FBI witness protection programme, he happens to bump into his ex girlfriend Marianne. She demands that she go on the run with him after finding out that Rick is still in danger from drug addicts about to be released from jail. Some funny moments, and not a bad film, but wasn't anything special.

(HORROR) Dark Circles - 2013 **

A bit of a disaster. A new family move to a quiet house in the country to raise their child, but almost immediately find they are seeing apparitions of a bloody woman in rooms, outside and in cupboards. Because of this, sleep becomes a distant memory. This slowly drives a wedge between the couple and they begin to turn on each other, not knowing what is real and what is hallucination.
Sounds like it might be quite good, but actually it has as many holes as a fishing net.

Ghost Shark - 2013 *

Oh good lord. This was (obviously) not going to be a good film. It's horrendously acted, horrendously shot, and to make matters worse,there is a rumour circulating that the directors and writers at the Sci-Fi channel sat around and took out 2 pieces of paper out of a hat of random words; these two words had to be made into a film, hence 'Ghost Shark.'

I feel a bit sorry for the ghost shark, partly because it looks like a CGI luminous nightmare, and partly because it has to share screen time with a load of morons who couldn't act if their lives depended on it. 

To say this film had a particularly ugly cast was a gross understatement. 

What's the Worst That Could Happen - 2001 ***

Relatively unknown comedy with Martin Lawrence as an experienced thief named Kevin, who meets his match when trying to burgle rich and crooked tycoon Max (Devito). In return for being burgled by Kevin, Max ends up stealing a precious ring that Kevin was given by his new girlfriend Amber. Desperate to get it back, Kevin enters into a cat and mouse game with Max, with hilarious results. 

I like both Lawrence and Devito as actors, so it was quite a pleasure to watch them both try to outsmart each other with their individual styles of comedy.

Little Nicky - 2001 ***

'Little Nicky' is a completely radical film. It's really funny, but also edgy and dark. Obviously you can't take it seriously. Adam Sandler is infuriating, but somehow the messed up, half devil half angel character he portrays actually suits him. His father is the devil, busy ruling hell with a fair but firm hand. When Nicky's two brothers escape through hellfire up to earth, it is Nicky's job to capture them and bring them back. His father meanwhile, is losing body parts in rapid time, and will eventually die if his sons are not returned.

Some parts are hilarious (I liked the superbowl scene) and Nicky's pal Beefy, a humorous and sarcastic pug adds other funny segments. 

Tarantino of course is the standout as the blind preacher Deacon who keeps finding himself falling down stairs, knocking himself out on streetlamps and tripping over tramps in an effort to get away from a strange, evil presence that appears frequently.