Dom Hemingway - 2013 *

 

 

'Raucously entertaining'?! Where are these reviewers from?! Dom Hemingway is appallingly bad. Jude Law's character is not the sort of person you want to see coming at you down the street. And the whole film consists of him either swearing, kicking, fighting, punching, killing or disrespecting anyone who gets in his way. Law's characterisation of an ex-convict sent down for something he didn't do and hell-bent on revenge probably suits him quite well, but he's still extremely unlikeable and makes everyone who is watching wince whenever he appears.

Shame that Richard E. Grant was in this too, because I admire him a lot as an actor, and feel that this was a big dip in his career.

When a film is this unpleasant and can only be told by swearing and violence you know it's not a good film.

 

 

(HORROR) The Tortured - 2009 **

This started off in a promising way, but then progressed into a horrific mixture of Saw and Hostel. A young couple look for payback on the man who kidnapped and murdered their son. They do this by kidnapping him when he is being held in a police car and taking him to the basement of their house where they proceed to torture him to within an inch of his life. Nothing much else happens. Except a really awful ending that was quite upsetting. I liked the build-up at the beginning where the events of the kidnapping unfold etc but actually when you get down to the basics of what happens next it's just plain unpleasant. Erika Christensen is good though but Jesse Metcalfe isn't.

Sweet Karma - 2009 ***

I'm not sure what I was expecting from this film, but it was actually pretty good and the story was quite a complex one. It might be worth watching more than once. It centres around a beautiful Russian girl (shown above with barely anything on of course) who wants revenge for her sister's murder. She goes about this by infiltrating a dodgy underworld strip club and becoming one of the dancers in an effort to get near to the perpetrators of the crime. Now I know what you are thinking, and no, it's not cheesy, or even particularly sexy. It actually shows a pretty realistic picture of the sex trade and how girls end up in this horrible situation that they cannot escape. Added to which as it's not American it doesn't try and rely on bimbos who can't act and instead focuses on proper talent.  

(HORROR) Red, White and Blue - 2011 *

Will I ever watch a good horror film again? Will a director ever come up with an original yet creepy story that will leave me frightened to go anywhere in the dark?! Obviously not here, because this was one of those 'revenge' thrillers that actually had nothing going on for it whatsoever. The lead actress was infuriating, the story was slow, unimaginative and dull, and the acting...? Well you could of put another few people from Hollyoaks in the movie (see the latest Wrong Turn) and it would have been better received. Simon Rumley really should go back to whatever job he had before he started to make films.

(NOIR) Payroll - 1961 *

I can't say there was anything credible about this movie, and I certainly didn't enjoy myself sitting through it. I found the whole thing ridiculous, over the top, and to top it off just badly acted. Billie Whitelaw and Francoise Prevost were two especially irritating leads who made me want to switch off everytime they sauntered into the scenes. The movie is not a noir, not a revenge or a heist movie, it's just pretty awful. And I wasn't even entranced by the 1960s shots of London. It was a blasted relief to get through this and to be honest I think I would've had more fun watching a 90s horror movie.