Piranha - 2010 * * *

I didn't see this movie in 3D and to be honest I don't think it really mattered. What I think is a shame about films like this nowadays is that the directors cannot draw in an audience without the promise of naked women and lesbian shots. What about the females who want to watch a freaky film about a piranha?? Are we not as important.

Story - err, except for the lesbianism, breasts, arses? not much, but there was a fair amount of gore which made me feel a bit better, all people working in this film deserved to be partially eaten by small killing fish. As I'm not a typical male I don't think spending a good deal of the film having to watch Kelly Brook jiggle her tits up and down and touch up a blonde sl** underwater while loads of hormone-frenzied men have a good gawp is something that draws me to a film. I knew she would be in it but not to this extent. The directors obviously couldn't think of anything else to fill the time. Don't even get me started on the 'underwater ballet sequence' - totally pointless! I can hear all the men out there reading this going 'you're just jealous bla bla bla', er no, I'm just not a typical bloke who thinks with his ****, and when I watch a movie I expect a good story. I don't need nudity to do that but obviously men do. Come to think of it maybe the directors are actual geniuses, they know exactly what today's male audience's want, shame it's not changed in all these years but then again men are simple beings.

(Oh by the way the 3 1/2 score is for the carnage and killings, *SPOILERS*- and when Kelly Brook gets eaten becasue she's such a dumb bi*** she can't hold on to a rope properly, the rest of the film should be put away somewhere and never taken out again)