Behind the Mask - The Rise of Leslie Vernon - 2007 *

We all need someone to look up to.

This quite frankly was a shambles of a movie. I immediately noticed comparisons to 'Man Bites Dog' which is a foreign film based around a camera crew following a serial killer around on his day to day murders. That was a pretty awful film and this was like a bad and totally unfunny Americanised version of it. Leslie Vernon is a pathetic and idiotic excuse for a serial killer and not in the least bit scary which kinda means your in trouble when trying to create a terrifying serial killer persona. The storyline was virtually non-existant and there were times I wondered why the film had ever been made. Added to which the acting was diabolical and I was so relieved to see the end of the film it's going straight in the bin.

The Rock - 1996 * * * 1/2

Only one man has ever broken out. Now 500 lives depend on 2 men breaking in.

I've heard great things about this movie but never actually seen it. Once I had I realised what all the fuss was about. Setting a film in Alcatraz is always a good move and so was putting Sean Connery in as the mysterious yet comical ex-convict who was the only man ever to successfully break out of the notorious prison. Together he and Nicholas Cage have to work around the clock to rescue a group of people who are on a tour of Alcatraz and who have become hostages to manic and sadistic ex war hero Ed Harris. Expect explosions, violence, shoot outs and a particularly memorable scene with a gorgeous yellow ferrari. Worth a watch with the lights out for special effect.

Public Enemies - 2009 * * * * *

America's most wanted.

I've waited eagerly to see this for nearly a year now and was lucky enough to watch it last night. Being a massive fan of all things 1930s I couldn't wait to see how Michael Mann had encapsulated the time period and the characters. From the start the film gripped me, Depp was amazing as John Dillinger who robbed banks with his gang, earning himself the title of Public Enemy no 1. Christian Bale plays Melvin Purvis, the official whose task it is to capture him. Bale is also superb. Everything about this film is glamourous, the trilbies, the tommy guns and the clothing, but we are still treated to some pretty gastly and bloody scenes of full-on shoot outs between Dillinger's gang and the police. However much I'd like to deny it, the 1930s at this time is one of the places I longed to live in, including the terror and the mayhem, I probably would have done very well as a ganster's moll. We see Dillinger in a not unsympathetic way when he falls in love but also his other side which is hardened criminal of the justice system. I liked the balance of his character, and also the contrast to Bale's character.

Although over 2 hours this movie flew by for me and I totally loved it. I loved the story, the characters and the period. One of the best films of the year (or rather last year).

The Singing Detective - 2004 * * *

Murder, seduction and betrayal. He wrote the book, now he's living it.

This was one hell of a strange movie. Robert Downey Jnr stars as a crime writer diagnosed with a rare skin disorder. As he is confined to his hospital bed he begins to imagine all sorts of scenarios involving his wife and characters from his book. This is interspersed with songs that he imagines himself singing from the 50s and 60s. By the time you get to the middle of the film you are unsure what is in his head and what is actually real. I guess that is what makes it so peculiar and also so clever. If it wasn't for Robert Downey the film may not be as well received and it does sort of muddle with your head, but in a good way, and his wit and sarcasm are still present throughout.

Southland Tales - 2006 *

Have a nice Apocalypse.

There have been people who have criticised viewers who didn't enjoy this movie as not wanting to use their brains or not 'understanding film making at it's best.' I did not enjoy this movie and to be honest it's nothing to do with using your brain or not; I wouldn't even want to use my brain over this mess of a film. If this film had been half the length then I still wouldn't have understood it anymore. Random plot put aside, the characters were even weirder - an actor turned amnesiac, a porn star/ tv presenter and a police man, and his twin brother.... Confused? Yes, you will be for the whole film. From what I could make out the film was supposed to be a rather disjointed attempt at showing us what the end of the world would be like, and how totally random it would be. The actors were all wrong for the parts and I'm not going to credit the director for coming up with an 'original' idea - even original ideas don't have to be so confusing and mixed up. By the time I was over half way of watching this it felt like a chore to have to sit through until the end and that's not how I perceive film-watching to be; it should be an enjoyable experience. Granted though I have not seen such a bizarre and surreal movie in a long time but even knowing it was this odd didn't make me like it anymore. I felt the same way I did when I'd finished 'Blue Velvet' - like I'd literally wasted 2 hours of my life on something I was trying to force myself to understand and like. I am not one normaly to give up on movies but if film continue to be churned out in this disturbing and idiotic manner then I may as well just stop after the first 10 minutes.

36 - 2004 * * * *

With friends like these...

I think I must have watched a bit of the film 'Heat' years and years ago and I remember not being very impressed. So I wasn't going out of my way to see this knowing that it was simply a french version of the same film. I think I was keen to see it more than anything because of seeing Auteuil in 'Hidden' and loving that. However I found that the acting in this movie was amazing and Daniel Auteuil is fantastic in his role. Watching this film you realise how corrupt the police can actually be especially when people who you work with and who are supposed to be there for you can end up being your worst enemies. This is the situation that Auteuil and Depardieu come to in this film. This film is also based on a true story and named 36 because the person this is dedicated to died on the 36th hour of his job. That makes it all the more poignant, and while there are some pretty gruesome scenes (including one involving a naked man which I won't go in to) I feel that unlike American films, the violence is needed here, and is not over glamourised just for the sake of an explosion. Police work is dangerous and violent and that is no lie, and so what better way to show it than in reality. I think really that although this film is based upon police going after certain people who are in gangs etc that really the premise is how two-faced the force can actually be. I was more interested in the relationship between Auteuil and Depardieu than in the men they happened to be looking for throughout the film. I recommend this film highly to anyone who wants an inside look at life and relationships in the police force, added to which you get to see some beautiful scenes of France which makes it just that bit better.

Rise: Blood Hunter - 2007 * *

Seduce. Trap. Tease.

Although this film was supposed to be scary and serious throughout I couldn't stop laughing at some of the things that happened. Lucy Liu is a pretty good actress and I was surprised to see her in something like this. I didn't know from the on-set that the film would be soft-pornesque with women sucking on other women's necks and ripping their clothes off to reveal stockings and suspenders. For this reason alone I'm sure this film will be very popular with male viewers but I didn't really understand or get the story and it was a bit of a bore to me. Lucy Liu did a great job of making me laugh though, especially when she's screaming and being hung upsidedown on a meat-hook about to be 'drunk.' I only realised near the end that she actually keeps coming back to life as a vampire, despite the fact that the 'v' word is never mentioned throughout the film. Hardly a great basis for a vampire film.

500 (Days of Summer) - 2009 * * * * 1/2

This is not a love story. This is a story about love.

I went into this film barely knowing what to expect and came out really happy that I had seen something that wasn't a 'typical' hollywood rom-com. I don't think I would even call this movie a comedy. It's very dark in places and depicts a real life relationship very well. The story is told as a serious of flashbacks and scenes where we start at the end of the 500 days and work backwards, sometimes stopping to go forwards. We meet Tom, an intelligent yet shy man who falls head over heels in love with a new member of staff named Summer at his work and proceeds to go out of his way to try to win her over. The only problem is that Summer is not interested in a serious relationship and is not prepared to change her views now, she even makes the point that she doesn't believe in love much to Tom's bewilderment, but this doesn't change his feelings for her. Through the course of the film we see the ups, the downs and the cracks that begin to appear as Summer and Tom start to realise what they both want from the relationship. And it's not the same thing.

Brilliantly acted and so refreshing to see a 'real' relationship on screen. Recommended.

Away Days - 2009 *

Run With the pack.

Yes I did see similarities to 'This is England' like it mentions on the front cover, but except for that this film was dead in the water. Seriously it was so badly done it made me laugh. Trying to rip off 'Green Street' and 'Rise of the Footsoldier' wasn't the cleverest idea, and the characters were so unlikeable and so arrogant that I started to think, 'why should anyone care if your getting beaten up or losing pints of blood in the process, this is all your choice!' Added to which the accents were so bad I couldn't understand half of what they were saying.

Pointless and boring, with violence that was just stuck in there for a laugh, I have nothing credible to say about this film.

When Harry Met Sally - 1989 * * *

Can two friends who sleep together still love each other in the morning?

People always rave about the Meg Ryan 'trilogy' of romantic comedy movies - You've got mail, Sleepless in Seattle and this one, When Harry Met Sally. I'm now 2/3s through as I only have Sleepless left to see. This film actually surprised me a bit. It wasn't brilliantly acted but it was pretty funny nevertheless and Ryan and Crystal seem to bounce off each other with regards to quick witted comedy. The now infamous 'orgasm scene' was actually really funny even though I was waiting with clenched teeth for it to appear.

I guess this is the type of film that both men and women can enjoy although the whole 'can men and women be friends' debate actaully gets a bit tiring after a while.

Worth a watch but maybe no more than one.

Dead Mary - 2007 *

They were dying to meet her.

Ok, first off, why haven't I learned my lesson now? I watch awful horror film after awful horror film and still think I'll find a good, well acted scary one. I should except that this will never be. Horror is not the same anymore, and with the exception to Asian/Japanese Tartan Asia Extreme films, the same type of movie is being churned out in America and Canada constantly. I've seen so many horror films that I did end up guessing parts of this film, that was when I wasn't half asleep pinning my eyes open with matchsticks. The acting was dire, (who the hell is this Dominique Swain and why is everyone going on and on about her in their reviews, it certainly can't be for her acting ability) and the story was a pointless rip-off of films like 'Candyman' whilst the Bloody Mary story is overrated now. I heard rumours that the director wanted to call the film 'Bloody Mary' but was beaten in the race by another movie just being released, and so he thought of the name Dead Mary 'because most of the time you don't see the force, just the reactions of people who sense it' or some gibberish like that. Having a film with almost exactly the same story coming out at exactly the same time as this one must have said something to the director surely? That maybe we don't need two films about the same thing? But oh no, this was obviously going to be fantastic because he'd changed the name and if the story lagged a bit in the middle then we could enjoy close-ups of women's breasts and legs and thighs (when will director's learn that they aren't only trying to appeal to the male audience; if they want women to watch as well then stop with the soft-core women running around in bikinis or skimpy clothes while the cameraman has the best day of his life filming them from the chest down.)

All in all, bad story, stupid people and too much clevage for my liking (none would have been my preference and if any males think I'm trying to spoil their movie viewing pleasure, we'll see how they like it if a director stuck a load of half or fully naked men in the film, running around like idiots when there is no basis for this anywhere in the story.

Dans Ma Peau - 2002 * * * *

It will get under your skin.

I sort of compared this movie to AntiChrist (2009) because of the descent into madness by one woman whilst the male in her life tries to help her overcome it. Unlike AntiChrist however, the acting was far from good, although having Directed, Produced and acted in the same film could probably take it's toll on anyone. The story matter is pretty gruesome, about a young woman who, after falling on some machinery at a party ends up starting to cut herself more and more until she is actually removing pieces of her flesh in the process. You watch as she slowly goes mad, even going as far as to start stabbing her arm with her fork held under the table whilst at a work dinner. From the way she acts you can never tell whether she actually seems to be enjoying hurting herself or whether she is doing it because of a compelling need that she cannot shake. I can see why this movie has slipped into the horror genre and I must say it is the one film (except AntiChrist) that I have seen that actually left me feeling physically sick. The premise is so real, and the scenes are incredibly graphic, and that scares me more than a ghost or slasher movie, for many people actually act like this when they are going mad, and self harm is unfortunately not an uncommon thing. Fair enough it is questionable that someone would actually start eating their arm in the process, but it really makes you wonder how far someone would be prepared to go if they really are having some kind of breakdown. Although gruesome, I can see the initial message that Marina De Van is trying to put across, that we should be more aware of mental illness, and so on that score I think this film works. It certainly shocks you so much that anyone watching it would go to any lengths other than act the way she does. Although it really disturbed me whilst watching it (and after 2 viewings there is no way I can stomach a third) I think it achieved what it set out to do, and therefore it does deserve some kind of aclaim.

Little Fish - 2005 * *

The Past is right here.

Cate Blanchett can act, there is no doubt about that, but when she is stuck with an awful script like this depicting ex drug addicts hooking up with their ex partners who are still on the drugs you realise she won't be getting very far. This is a film shot with an independent feel, and sadly, although we have a cast of a few good actors we still can't get anything out of the story. It's not the gritty realism that I dislike, it's the utter hopelessness of it all that I can't stand. Maybe I am being unfair, and should be rating this movie higher because it's more realistic than many I have seen. However I feel that the direction and script feels so rigid that there is no way the story could ever work, howeverbleak and raw it appears to be on the surface.

The Gold Rush - 1925 * * *

The Little Tramp does good.

I've never seen Chaplin in a feature length movie and didn't think I'd be able to stand watching him for a full hour and a half. I mean he's funny but not that funny. The story is very funny which helped to keep my attention but I still found myself drifting off and thinking of other things. Chaplin can be hilarious, he really can, and several scenes found myself in hysterics, but after a while his 'feel sorry for myself' routine wears a bit thin. Keaton is funny throughout his movies but Chaplin isn't. I'm not saying the film wasn't good, only that if we were treated to half the length of it I may have rated it more, because by the time it got to the end I was bored and didn't actually care what happened to him! I will check out 'Modern Times' though to see if I feel the same way at the end of that.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - 2005 * * * * *

Sex, murder, mystery - Welcome to the party.

There is little I can say about this film except 'wow.' I think I have found my new favourite actor in Robert Downey Jnr, and this will now probably be one of my new favourite films. The minute I'd finished it I sat back and watched the whole thing again, laughing with the same guffaw as I had the last time. I doubt very much that this film will grow old or unwatchable as I find something different to enjoy and appreciate each time I see it (I've seen it 5 times since ). One of the reasons I am so pleased with this film is that actually it bases itself comically to the exact situations that you tend to find yourself seeing in regular murder mystery 'Hollywoodised' films. It knows it's prodding it's finger comically and wants you to do the same. It knows exactly what parts of Hollywood films you dislike and it encludes them, but only to make sure you laugh at the irony of the whole thing. Downey narrates for entirety of the movie and even at the end he speaks to the camera to engage with the audience. His quick wit, improvisation and remarkably clever screwball comedic mind (which could match the likes of Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn)is showcased to the best of its ability. His timing is genius, and watching him and Val Kilmer together (who I think was also full of laughs as 'Gay Perry') is a mighty enjoyable experience.
The other reason that I am so pleased I like this movie, (no actually, I love this movie) is that I thought it would be a guaranteed flop. I bought it, realising with dread that I'd never want to see it and hid it away immediatly, almost giving it away for free so that I would never have to see it. It makes me almost hysterical with joy to find out that a film I have prepared myself to despise is actually one of the funniest films I have ever seen (and I've seen a l0t of films) and has introduced me to a new actor and all his work which I look forward to collecting. Any film that has the balls to criticise the whole Hollywood 'franchise' of broken dreams and empty wallets whilst producing a film based on those exact things is going to score highly in my book.
Absolutely hilarious.

Ong Bak - 2003 * * * * *

'There are times for fight but by the same measure, there are times for flight.'

I'll be honest, I'd never been particularly bothered about watching this film. I'd bought it, and stuck it at the back of my DVD shelf, promptly forgetting about it. I took it out last night and decided to watch it.
I have never seen such fantastic and powerful martial arts in my life. Tony Jaa does all his own stunts, none of that pathetic 'give me a stunt double to film a scene crossing the road' stuff that American actors seem to do these days. There were no special effects either. Nothing except this man and his incredible body. This man can bend himself and move himself in ways that are almost unbelievable to watch. One memorable scene that sticks out in my mind features Jaa being chased through the streets by a gang of thugs. With effortless ease he runs over cars, under lorries and throws himself through a mound of barbed wire, the gap inside only measuring about the same size as a car tire. Watching him actually makes you believe he is on drugs, or at least some heavy steroids that enable him to use his body with such vigour and fearlessness. Fair enough, I'm sure any martial arts film fan would tell you that this story isn't up to much, but it really doesn't matter when you see this man perform his craft. It makes Hollywood actors look pathetic.

Gothika - 2004 * * *

Because someone is dead doesn't mean that they are gone.

Gothika is a puzzling film. And I understand that it did badly at the box office. For good reason in my opinion. Although this had the makings of a good ghostly horror film, there were far too many gaps and plot-holes that were never answered. I don't mind films where nothing is what it seems and then at the end you realise what actually happened, but I have to draw the line and films where you haven't really got a clue what is going on, and then it is suddenly the end and you feel like you've missed a big chunk of the film because nothing was really ever explained to you. Halle Berry is very good in her part, and I found her mental state to be a very realistic portrayal of how you would imagine a person like that to behave. Unfortunately so much of this film just didn't add up that I cannot rate it highly. The ending was ridiculous and I know from other reviewers that they were all left feeling slightly cheated as well. Robert Downey Jr's character was terribly unlikeable which was a shame, seeing as how I'd loved his character in 'Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang.'

Three stars are given for the acting ability, not the story.

Half Light - 2006 * *

Fear waits in the Half Light.

I really couldn't find anything credible in this film. Demi Moore is really an appalling actor, with perhaps the exception of one of my favourite movies 'Indecent Proposal'. The reality of a mother loosing her son in an accident and then rushing off to an island where she starts up a relationship with a random man doesn't seem highly likely to me. She leaves her home and her life with her husband to go and try writing on this island, telling him only that 'they can think about divorce when she comes back.' How irritating would that be if someone said that to you.

If a couple loses a child it is not just the mother who suffers. I found Moore's character immensly unlikeable and really felt the bare minimun of sympathy towards her as the film progressed.

The element of horror or thriller or whatever there was supposed to be was lukewarm at best, the ending came at you like a smack in the face- and a confusing and unneeded one at that. This film would have been better if it had been marketed as a drama about a mother's grief over a lost son instead of trying to stick in scary moments and ghostly images/goings on whenever there was a lull in concentration.

The Jackhammer Massacre - 2004 * * *

Self destruction is only the beginning.

With a name like 'Jackhammer Massacre' you can really only expect bad things from this movie. Shoddy camera work and over-the-top acting by people who are probably getting about 50 pence a day for their efforts. But I'm fairly open with movies and was happy to give it a go, even thinking it might be so bad that it would make me laugh.

The first thing I thought of after seeing the film was how little massacring actually occured. The story actually seemed to centre around a drug addict whose need for heroin causes him to go on a 'rampage' (he kills several people who do nothing but stand there and watch him as he sticks the machine in their gut). Fair enough it's not your usual massacre movie. The bloke does actually have a reason to go crazy, even though it's not exactly a good excuse. Some of the most disgusting scenes don't involve murder, but actually involve him injecting his already infected arm with more drugs and pouring bleach on his scars. Those scenes made me feel physically ill so I assume the desired efffect to put people off drug-taking worked. There were funny parts to the movie that I had already expected-people never seem to run fast enough in these films, added to which you can always tell when the movie has been shot by a man as we get long and extended views of women's breasts/bums. For a cheapy done film however this wasn't nearly as bad as I had expected and I had no problem watching it right through to the end; for once a murder film is made with an actual message.

11:14 - 2003 * * * * 1/2

Fate can change in seconds.

The most peculiar thing happened to me the other day. I saw an advert for this unknown movie before another film I watched and I became desperate to see it. The day afterwards, browsing my local DVD shop I found the exact same film. Most bizarre.

Anyway, all I can do is echo Amazon reviews who ask how this film went undetected upon it's release and was not even released at the cinema! It is most odd how many gastly films come out at the pictures to worldwide release, when many of them are dire, and all the time films like this pass us by. I have probably missed many brilliant films because of this.

The start of the film didn't really blow me away, in fact I was thinking to myself that it had been a waste of time to put it on. Then it got interesting, and I mean really interesting, and I realised I had to watch it right through to the end. The film jumps backwards and forwards in time whilst re-telling the story of one night when a drunk driver hits a girl and leaves her for dead. We then go backwards to the events that happened beforehand, and find out that all the characters we assume we are seeing for the first time, have all been connected in some way to lead them up to this event and how if it wasn't for small individual mistakes that they each make,which at the time don't seem very important, then the whole situation would never have happened. I know my garbled explanation doesn't sound like much but I have not seen such a clever or better made film in a long time. There are elements of humour as well that I think are the director's way of poking fun at certain aspects of the film, such as having sex in a graveyard, and Hilary's Swank's hilariously goofy portrayal of a gas station assistant, who tries to make her friend shoot her in the arm so that she can stage a robbery. Rachel-Leigh Cook is suitably slutty in her role and successfully manages to juggle three men all at once hoping to make money out of them.

I always know when I have seen a great film by two things - sitting there afterwards going 'wow', over and over again, and constantly thinking about the movie for days to come. I did both with this one. Not to be missed.

Taxi - 1998 * * *

Formula 1 has hit the city.

My fiance recommended this movie to me and I must say it was a pretty enjoyable experience. It was very short and that certainly helped you not feel like it was dragging like some movies do. I didn't honestly really understand the story, but I thought the race scenes were fantastic. In short, the movie was basically a french Fast and Furious. I notice it was directed by Luc Besson who did La Femme Nikita which is on my list of 'to see' films, but I'm not quite sure if it really pushed me towards watching it or put me off.

A Royal Scandal - 1945 * *

Saucy and naughty

I am a wide collector and obsessor of old movies, and will be quick to jump in and defend them when anyone puts them down. This film however was dated. It hasn't aged well, and the jokes seem pointless and very unfunny now. I rarely feel this way about an old movie, and like the fact that the film is old, but there is a difference in watching a film that has been able to carry itself and it's story well through the years, and one that feels almost stuck in a time warp. That is what I felt with this one. Tallulah Bankhead was unforgettable however and I think that if she hadn't been in it this movie would have fallen flat on it's face. She has an amazing screen presence and I don't think anyone has ever been able to match her.

I wouldn't recommend this, it's neither funny enough, nor strong enough to contend as a good film.

Karla - 2006 * * * 1/2

Evil has a beautiful face.



I have a very morbid streak in that I'm interested in all types of murders. I have always been amazed at the pure evil and depravity of the 'Ken and Barbie Killers' - Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka. There was speculation as there always is in killing partnerships that one killer influenced the other into commiting the crimes. By now we know that Karla was a willing participent in the murder of her sister, believing that if she did so she would gain Paul's eternal love. In fact she was willing to do anything to win his approval, even if it meant watching him rape girls in front of her and then murder them. Karla may not have commited as many murders as Paul, but she still had the ability to, and she was no less of a monster than he was. Letting someone kill somebody else is almost as bad as commiting the crime.
I really thought this movie was brilliantly acted, but there were parts that weren't truthful. Karla is portrayed in this film as a weak and pathetic excuse for a woman who clung on desperately to Paul regardless of how many times he insulted her or battered her. In reality Karla was a manipulative and vile woman who stood by and joined in while her husband performed vile acts on women - evn after being released she never once apologised to the parents of the victims. This movie did not stick to the real story but was still very captivating.

The Changeling - 1980 * * * *

An experience beyond fear.

I'd put off watching this movie for a long time. I've seen pretty much all the films that are known as 'really haunting' expect for The Innocents and didn't want the experience of seeing this to be over too quickly. However after watching it I was thinking about it or days afterwards and can honestly say that it frightened the daylights out of me. George C. Scott was brilliant in his role as the sad and lonely composer who moves into a large, old house after a fatal accident involving his wife and child. Soon he realises that he is not alone in the house and that something will not let him rest until it has made itself known.

I specifically waited until Christmas time to watch this to give myself an extra thrill and was shivering with nerves by the end.

Contrary to popular beliefs there are some similarities with the recent 'Changeling' (2008) although that is based on a true story.

I'm relieved I've watched this now and do think it is one of the scarier movies that I have seen in recent times. I'd recommend this to anyone who wants to be scared and appreciates a film with no violence (except malevolent spirits) and sex.

The Dreamers - 2003 * * * *

All dreamers must eventually wake.

I put off reviewing this movie for quite some time because I honestly don't know what to say about it and I still find I am slightly lost for words. The acting is superb but the story is just like nothing I have ever seen before in my life. The film revolves around an American student who comes to study in Paris at the end of the 60s and strikes up a friendship between a brother and sister who live in a gorgeously overwelming yet empty house which is left free for them all to use after the parents of the siblings leave for a long 'trip.' They spend their days quoting movies, dressing up as their favourite characters and drinking wine (sounds divine). However dreaming is shortlived and along with awakening there comes reality. The American finds himself in a surreal menage-a-trois which hints at incest, which try as he might, he cannot tear himself away from.

There is some strong and graphic nudity here, some moments are too embarassing to watch but there is something totally compelling and addictive about this film. Whether it be the decade, the location or the soundtrack I don't know, but for one thing you will find it hard to tear your eyes away from the screen. Do not be put off by the mention of the word incest, for it is handled tastefully and surprisingly beautifully if that is at all possible).

For added fun try to guess the titles of the movies they quote before they answer, I got nearly every one.

Arachnophobia - 1990 * *

Eight legs, two fangs and an attitude.

My god this was a cheesy movie. I can't work out whether it was intentionally so or whether the actors just didn't know what they were meant to be doing. I watched it initially to try and face my fear of spiders head on, but actually this really did nothing for me one way or another. There were some parts where I had to check under various cushions nearby in case there was a lone eight legged freak but actually for most of the story I was smiling. If the film was meant to be taken seriously by anybody then it didn't do what it was required to do and to be honest I found the story pretty boring. There was nothing to gage my attention for long enough. A sure miss.

2012: Supernova - * *

The only thing that should have exploded was every actor on the set.

I found it very hard to review this movie. For one thing my partner and I sat down to watch it and after over an hour were starting to wonder why Woody Harrelson and team hadn't made an appearance. With horror we realised as the credits started to loom that we had been watching this movie instead of simply 2012. The Asylum company has produced nearly 200 rip-off movies of bad quality and awful acting and this was one of them. Nothing seems to happen in this movie. That bloke who was in Buffy runs around trying to save people and planets while his wife and daughter run around in the middle of the road trying not to get hit by flying cars and pieces of metal. There are a few people who you think are on his side and turn out evil but apparently that's just typical save-the world style movie-making. None of the actors look like they are particularly interested in what is going on and the lead character has a tendancy to run out from his hiding place without checking if the coast is clear when he hears familiar voices. Of course in the real world he would have been shot before he could open his mouth but yet again if you're in a movie about saving the world anything goes. Also the ending....What happened there? I'm not going to 'spoil' it (if thats even the right word) but you think to yourself ' how on earth could this possibly happen when we were so sure the other thing would happen, and in fact there is no way that the thing that happened could actually have happened in the realms of normality.' Obviously the director of the film totally lost the will to care about whether the scenes made any sense and I don't blame him, for while I was surprised at the ending I really didn't care two hoots about any of the characters and wished they'd all died at the beginning. This fake rip-off of 2012 hasn't put me off watching my original choice however which I am sure will be a lot better and have some proper acting to boot.

Coraline - 2009 * * * *

Some doors should never be opened.

Coraline is a movie that has been talked about a lot this year. It has been compared to Pixar films and also has been questioned as whether it is appropriate for children although it was released as a children's film. After watching it I think that maybe it is only appropriate for children over a certain age, i.e. 13. It is a bit like Harry Potter, for that was supposedly appropriate for children when in fact some scenes were far too frightening for it to be less than a 15. Coraline can be seen on two levels, one level that it is an amazing animated movie with some scary parts about a girl that discovers another world and the 2nd level that it relates to a young girl who finds it hard to cope with her annoying parents who don't seem to appreciate her and seeks solace in another world where her parents pay her more attention. Whatever way you want to view this movie it's very enjoyable and very well done. Dakota Fanning lends her voice to Coraline and a special highlight comes from Jennifer Saunders and Dawn French who play the 2 eccentric actresses that live below. The film has some dark elements to it and some parts actually freaked me out a bit, but all in all I just enjoyed it and went along with the ride. Maybe one that I would watch again but it would not be a regular that I would constantly take off my shelf like the Pixar's.

Fighting - 2009 * *

Some dreams are worth the fight.

I was appalled by the standard of acting in this movie, and yet the lesser acclaimed movie 'The Tournament' was of a totally different class and calibre. Tatum's performance is gastly, how he has ever succeeded as an actor of quality in this business I will never know, and to top it all off, his fight scenes are few and far between. For a film based around fighting you would expect it to be full of fights! However to my knowledge there were only three, and each one was so weak I myself could have packed more of a punch than Tatum. That mixed with Tatum's embarassing scenes with his love interest which make you feel like you are witnessing a teenage first date were enough to make me want to turn the movie off, but I persisted until the end and was more than happy to see the end credits roll. It just goes to show that you don't need talent to be an actor in Hollywood, just a pretty boy image and you're all set.

The Tournament - 2009 * * * * *

Only one will survive

This film hasn't really had that much critical acclaim to my knowledge. I cannot understand why as I was totally caught up in the plot and acting which was tremendous.

Robert Carlyle really stole the show for me in his role as the alcoholic priest who mistakenly gets caught up in the tournament.

The tournament is controlled by bookmaker Liam Cunningham who arranges his contacts to place bets on a small number of assassins who in turn fight each other until the death. When they die they are disqualified. Each assassin has a chip embedded in their stomach which tracks their movements which are transmitted back to the main tournament room where Cunningham and his contacts are watching their every movement on a large screen. Unknowingly Carlyle swallows one of these chips and is thrown headfirst into the tournament as an assassin.

The acting is superb and I think the ideal is totally original. Watch this if you want to be glued to the screen and blown away by some really astounding performances.

The Darjeeling Limited - 2007 * * * * *

'Do you think we would be friends if we weren't related?'

I know there was a lot of talk about the symbolism of this movie when it was released and people spent ages trying to work out what director Wes Anderson was trying to get at but I still think that even if you don't understand the film on a deep level you can still enjoy it as a sharp comedy with some good acting. Adrien Brody grows in my good books with every film I see him in and I have always liked Owen Wilson.

Three brothers, Francis Peter and Jack who haven't seen each other in over a year meet on a train bound for India where Francis hopes that they will travel to a secluded monastary to meet up with their mother. As none of them trust each other Francis, (Wilson) decides to steal their passports so that they can't leave the train until they have become closer. What follows is a series of humorous events involving pepper spray, old belts and deadly snakes where the brothers begin to learn more about each other than they ever thought or hoped that they would. The whole film is slightly surreal and the symbolism can occasionally get in the way of the enjoyment of the jokes, but on the whole it really delivers. There are also some very moving moments that almost made me cry and the whole thing wrapped up really nicely.

Irreversible - 2002 * *

Time destroys all things.

I'm actually going to go against the grain and say that I didn't like this movie. And not because of the violent and grotesque rape scene which is agonising to watch. I didn't find the unusual method of replaying the scenes from the end to the beginning helpful or 'wacky', instead I found it confusing and really jumbled up with no actually reason whatsover. There was no point to the way it was shot. There was no point to the horrible wobbly camera work which was worse that even Cloverfield (which is saying something), and no point to the detached and depressing awfulness of the whole thing. I understand we are supposedly being treated to 'reality' and 'if we don't want gloom then not to watch the film' etc but I personally wantto be fullfilled when watching a movie and this production could do nothing for me. If it wasn't for Monica Belluci's outstanding beauty the whole movie would have been a complete wash-out. I find myself comparing this to 'Antichrist' which was another awful excuse for violence and insult. However at least the acting in that film was amazing whereas this fell totally flat on it's very disturbing face. You could tell that the director was trying to be all arty and add in hidden meanings and metaphorical images but he got in such a mess that it ended up feeling like you were watching an amateur film-makers work instead of a well renowned and popular director.

Mommie Dearest - 1981 * * *

Joan Crawford, the illusion of perfection.

Faye Dunaway's portrayal of Joan Crawford is really staggering. She doesn't actually look that much like her but her mannerisms and voice are amazingly close. I'm a big classic movie star fan but had never known exactly how twisted and abusive Joan was to her children, Christina in particular. Her story reminded me a bit of Norma Desmond in 'Sunset Boulevard', not being able to cope with the fact that her movie star days were ending. Her life was the movies, her children came second. I don't actually understand why Joan decided to adopt a child if she wasn't prepared to take care of her and get her priorities straight. She was only interested in mentally and physically abusing her. It was like watching a movie based on a serial killer but realising that the person commiting the acts was actually a beautiful and well-known actress instead of a lonely and unknown individual. There will always be people who felt sorry for Joan and expected that celebrity life simply became too much for her to deal with but I cannot understand why anyone would behave the way she did, especially being in the public eye so much. Watching her films now will really be an odd and sad kind of hindsight - she should have known better.

James Dean: Race with Destiny 1997 * * *

Live fast, die young, but leave a beautiful corpse.

I am a massive James Dean fan and had been hoping to watch this dramatisation of his life for a long time. I don't believe that Van Dien's portrayal as Dean was very realistic as the dooomed star. He looked nothing like Dean and at times it was hard to remember who Van Dien was trying to replicate. Most of the movie centred around Dean's relationship with Pier Angeli, or 'Pure Angel' as James liked to call her and how their relationship suffered and deteriorated at the hands of Pier's controlling mother. We are 'treated' if thats even the right word to a shot of Dean's last drive with his companion and this confused me somewhat. In every book/website we are told that Dean's last words are ' that guy's sure to see us' right before he crashes, but how would we know these words if there were no survivors in the car. his quote is not included in this film which I am thankful for.

Worth watching for a glimpse into the life of the coolest man who ever lived.

The History Boys - 2006 * * * *

History, it's just one bloody thing after another.

On first viewing a few years ago I must say I was less than impressed. I couldn't relate to any of the characters or the plot which is weird because I was studying at university at the time. However on viewing it again now I was pleasantly surprised. I totally engaged with the characters, loved their passion for literature and education and found myself really caring about what happened to them. Richard Griffiths was superb as Hector, the wonderfully absurd and eccentric History teacher who teaches the boys all they could ever need to know about life. I loved the footage from Cambridge as that is where I am from and ironically I now work in one of the colleges that admits students like them.

This is a very inspiring and strangely motivational film which showcases some amazing talent that had only just come to light at the time but that now is a cert i.e. Dominic Cooper, James Cordon.

Baby Face - 1933 * * * *

She climbed that ladder of success, wrong by wrong!

I'd never heard of this movie until I stumbled across it quite by accident. I saw the title and the date and assumed it was something crossed with 'The Public Enemy' and Little Caesar'. It had no elements of gangster in it whatsover but I still thought it was brilliant and just about the right length. Stanwyck is amazing to watch on screen and always seems to play the strong-willed and independent women in her films. Her role here however was one of a different independence. After losing her beastly and abusive father in an explosion, Lily takes herself off to New York to make some money which is easily done when all you have to do is sleep your way to the top and break men's heart left, right and centre. Lily performs under the perception that because men have treated her badly in her past she has every right to make them suffer now. Unfortunately she devestates some of the men's lives when they leave their wives and fiances for her only to be told she's moved on. I can imagine men all to agree on viewing that she is a nasty piece of work and the women to support her actions fully, although myself a female I actually started to feel sorry for the men towards the end of the film. They fell so pathetically at her feet that it was painful to watch.
A brilliant example of Stanwyck's talent; you can tell that she will go on to be a tremendous actress which indeed she does.

AntiChrist - 2009 * * *

A Crying Woman is a Scheming Woman.

Let's get one thing straight, this movie was brilliantly acted, and its pretty hard to find a film with only two actors in it that can carry itself and make you stay gripped to your seat. I was gripped but I also felt like being sick a number of times. I am aware of the Dogme style of acting as I performed 'Festen' at university and so could understand the method. Certain scenes I felt were far too graphic to be shown and there were moments where I did want to turn the thing off. But I stuck with it until the end and despite being confused most of the movie it did what it said on the tin and made me think for a long time afterwards. I cannot pretend to understand the symbolism behind the film and think I would need to see it a few more times before it even started to make sense which is something I don't really want to do as I feel drained enough from one sitting. It is true what they say that a powerful film can really emotionally and mentally effect you and I've literally had to sit in silence for about half an hour just going over and over what I've seen. I guess in a way this film does work because there are so many ways you can interpret what you have viewed including feminism, sexism etc and I think really that it's up to you to understand it however you want to. This is one movie that I'm not sure how to rate. Usually I go on love or hate factor when I'm reviewing but on this occasion I just don't know how to react. I would give it full marks for captivating my attention but I didn't actually enjoy the story or what was happening to the characters. But then again I would also give it full marks for character performance. I think everyone (well people over 18 anyway) should watch this, but certain scenes including the ones towards the end will leave you emotionally disgusted regardless of whether you are a man or a woman.

Drag Me To Hell - 2009 * * * *

She's going to hell.

Having not been bowled over by the 'Evil Dead' movie that Sam Raimi directed I was hardly expecting that this movie would have much of an impact. However I was really surprised. The whole film is done pretty much with tongue-in-cheek and its great to see a director taking the mickey out of himself by making the film slightly comical. The idea of the story is fairly simple - a young woman with a prosperous job and nice boyfriend refuses to extend a loan to Mrs Ganush, a scary, haggard looking woman who comes to her bank begging for them not to repossess her house. The old woman, (who has a fake eye and delights in coughing up phlegm into her handkerchief)decides to curse her and unless the curse can be lifted within three days she'll be taken to hell.
It doesn't sound very scary as horror movies go but there are plenty of typical jumpy moments that you wouldn't expect and a really terrifying performance from the woman who plays Mrs Ganush. She really isn't somebody you would care to meet in a dark alleyway, or even a bright one. Plus the ending really makes you squeal, and for once it seems that horror movies do not always turn out happily ever after at the end.
I wouldn't go as far as to rate this movie as the best of the year (I really don't think I could rate just one film with that title anyway regardless of how good it was) but it certainly is worth a couple of watches to see a director who doesn't take himself to seriously.

Crying Fist - 2005 * * *

Winning is the only option.

I was very surprised with this movie. It was captivating, humourous in parts in the way that only the Korean can do and actually a very poignant experience. The story centres around two characters who are having a bad life, one is a forty-something man who is jobless and treats his wife and child like dirt, the other is a twenty-something year old who because of crime landed himself in jail. Both begin to share a common interest in boxing and see it as the be all and end all that will either change their lives or ruin them. Interaction between the characters is very complex. A worthwhile movie although it does begin to drag towards the end.

The Mysterious Lady - 1928 * * * *

No one knew who she was yet no one could resist her beauty.

Garbo is just a perfect example of classic beauty. She is also an example of perfection on the screen. Every move, every glance and every close up is exquisite and she performs them in a timeless fashion. Garbo plays Tania, a Russian spy who falls in love with a soldier but is told by her lover to extract information from him by making him fall in love with her. The whole story is agonisingly powerful and I really do not believe that anyone other than Garbo could have put so much heart and soul into the performance. The expression and pain on her face is evident to see and she totally embodies the part. For anyone who wants to see Garbo silent this is the perfect place to start, although I saw 'Grand Hotel' first and therefore heard her voice before I could discover her talent!

The VIP's - 1963 * * * * *

In the world of the Very Important People.

I have just finished watching this movie and oh my gosh I adored it. Elizabeth Taylor was stunning as usual and Richard Burton (in the first of his films that I've seen) was one of the most captivating presences I've ever seen. This story reminded me a lot of the classic 'Grand Hotel' in which many characters are mingled in one space and their relationships all drastically change over the course of the film. Both are of equal high status and I can watch each one many times. Like 'Grand Hotel' this film has a star-studded cast and each actor has an unforgettable part. A particular highlight for me was Orson Welles who can drag you into his scene and keep you there until he has departed.

The individual stories of the main characters were brilliantly constructed and I was crying loudly by the end. There was not one character whose story didn't affect me.

A must must see movie.

Blue Velvet - 1986 *

It's a strange world.

I will never ever understand the excitement and notoriety of this film. I went into it with high expectations after reading lots of positive and was expecting to be amazed. I was amazed but it was not in a good way. I can see absolutely nothing of credibility here. The acting was mediocre except for Dennis Hopper's gripping and uncomfortable portrayel as a sadistic drug dealer who performs perverted and obscene sexual acts on his illicit sex slave Isabella Rossellini. The premise is pretty poor and in no way worthy of being in the top 100 movies centering around a young man's discovery of a human ear. I am aware that David Lynch was trying to concentrate more on the surreal and eerie elements of the movie rather that a first class script because it really is an embarassment to watch and see how most of the characters woodenly interact with each other. I could have experienced more with either a brilliant script or an amazing plot but seeing as neither occured in this film I was happy to see the end of it and will not be bothering again; some movies are too far above my head.

Sideways - 2004 * * *

Sometimes you have to leave to find your way back.

There was a lot of talk about this movie and I couldn't wait to see it. However when I actually purchased the disc I waited a ridiculous amount of time before I watched the DVD, 7 months in fact which seems to be one of my faults when it comes to films. I'd thought that the longer I left it, the better it would be and the more I would appreciate it and the feelings I had gathered about what I may expect beforehand. Sadly, my excitement in movies appears to be very limited nowadays and I finished watching the film feeling quite let down and disappointed. The story itself doesn't have much to it, 2 friends go on a trip to the Californian vineyards as an extended bachelor party, one to forget about his divorce and the other to get laid before his wedding. I actually really empathised with Miles' character and his love of wine. He seemed like a genuinely decent bloke who was in no way sleazy or arrogant, and I began to build up a rapport with him. However I disliked Paul immensely and found him a pathetic excuse for a male. The last thing most decent men do is try and have sex with other women the week before they are going to get married, and so I found that I hated what he stood for, (having zero respect for his fiance and being sexually promiscious) and am sure that few male viewers would see him as a good and pleasing character.

In films like this you can usually tell by about half way through whether you are going to be able to engage with the characters and for me it only took about ten minutes. I loved the first half of the film and was rooting for Miles to have a great trip while enjoying his passion for wine, but the second half went drastically downhill and we were subjected to Paul and his sexual exploitations which I felt we could have done without. I may have enjoyed the film more if the character of Paul hadn't existed and I could have concentrated more on Miles, but as that was not the case the film cannot grasp more than an average rating. Although the Californian countryside and scenery was really beautiful.

A disappointing movie.

Priceless - 2006 * * *

She's stealing his heart and he's paying for it.

As keen as I was to rush into lots of Audrey Tautou after seeing 'Amelie' I thought it wise to leave it a while so that I wouldn't be constantly comparing whatever she was in to the previous movie.

I decided to start with a film that would guarantee me a good time and a laugh which is why I chose 'Priceless'.

Irene has always dated men with money, and been treated like a princess. She has also made it clear that all she is after is the money and not the love, but all that changes after a fluke meeting with Jean, a timid and impressionable bar-tender whom she meets one night in her hotel and mistakes for a millionaire(when in fact he is badly broke). Being so meek and good-natured (and also having fallen in love with her) Jean pulls out all the stops to try and impress her and win her heart instead of just her bank balance.

The sumptuous scenery and gorgeous costumes that Audrey Tautou gets to wear make the whole film a joy to watch, like a decadent and moreish treat. The comedy moves at a gentle pace and the 2 main characters seem to have real chemistry. However the reason I cannot mark it higher is because towards 2/3 of the way in the plot started to go downhill in a way which I disliked. We have spent a long time establishing a bod between Irene and Jean and then all of a sudden everything is moving speedily forward at a rate which actually alarms me. I certainly loved the first half of the movie but was put off by the second, where I felt that the characters had no direction.

Rest Stop - 2006 * * * *

There's nowhere to run.

This film has got some pretty harsh reviews on reputable dvd sites and I couldn't resist watching it to see if what they said was true. In my opinion this was a poorly underated movie and I was gripped and shocked throughout. I loved 'Wolf Creek' but hated 'Gone' and so it was really a toss up as to whether I would like the feel of this movie. I knew that the film would be dealing with a solo female victim like the other 2 movies and it was really down to how she acted and reacted that would seal the deal for me. I thought the actress playing Nicole was amazing. I thought the plot, although a bit 'familiar' to other outback/stranded type films was thrilling and the ending really really upset me. I did sort of know what was going to happen because it has occured in the films I mentioned before, but I was still shocked, and the very ending, I mean literally the last minute or so actually was left open so you didn't have a clue what would happen. Definately worth a watch, or even 2.

Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein -1948 * * *

'Everybody knows Dracula isn't real,' 'Yes, but does Dracula himself know this?'

This was my first A+C film and I was surprised that I'd missed some very funny films. The comedy is a little like marmite, you either love the fact it's very obvious and almost Laurel and Hardy like (although not nearly as good) or you hate it. I liked it. It doesn't exactly make you collapse in hysterics but it does raise a smile. And the pair are very funny together, bouncing off each other with rapid speed. The highlight for me was seeing Bela Lugosi in a comedy! Although he wasn't purposefully acting in a funny way he did actually make me laugh! Right from the first time you see him he has this amazing presence. He brought a touch of elegence to the movie that I think would have otherwise lacked it. I would definately watch another of the pair's movies but I'm not sure if I'd be viewing this again; there are funnier films out there to see.

Hack! - 2007 * * * *

Reality is murder.

Ok I was confused about this movie. There were parts that I really liked and parts I hated. However I'm giving it a higher rating because overall I did find it enjoyable. I liked the fact that the film was seen to be poking fun at other horror movies. The whole basis of the movie is that a group of students, (you know the drill, one slut, one nerd, one sexist moron etc) all take a trip to an island to raise the grades on their term papers. They are looked after by a seemingly lovely couple who are obsessed with movies. In reality there is something sinister about them. I liked the fact that we are laughing at the characters in the story who are in term laughing at the couple (or is it the other way around??). If you are a horror buff then you will notice all the obvious and subtle jokes based on other films. The ending really confused me though, and to be honest with about twenty minutes to spare I suddenly felt like I'd fallen asleep without realising and missed a whole area of the plot. P.S does anyone else think the character of Willy is a blatent rip-off from Grounds keeper Willy in 'The Simpsons'??

The Odd Couple 2 - 1998 * * *

They haven't changed.

There was a lot to laugh about in this movie, and Jack Lemmon, although suitably aged is still able to crack some jokes. Walter Matthau is still as dry as ever and funny, but the pair seem to be past their most comedic times. This time around the pair are thrown together at the announcement of Matthau's son and Lemmon's daughter and make the long road trip to be at the wedding. However not before they come across some hilarious obstacles. Although a lot of the humour was forced there were still some bits that made me chuckle but it was really nothing compared to the original that had me in hysterics. In fact if I'm honest I think this version should never have been made because it almost seems to spoil what was a perfect original comedy.

Horror Hotel - 1960 aka The City of the Dead * * * *

' The basis of fairy tale is in reality. The basis of reality is in fairy tales'

I have always been interested in films about witches and hangings (slightly macabre I know!), and so I was amazed to find this barely talked about movie that had me gripped from start to finish. Having Christopher Lee in one of the roles always guarantees a good movie, and he didn't disappoint here although it was a shame that he wasn't featured more in the film especially since he is the only name to appear on the front of the disc.

A young student Nan decides, on the advice of her college professor (Lee) to go to a small and eerie town named Whitewood in her Winter break to research her term paper on Witchcraft. However when she gets there she encounters a variety of abnormal and terrifying things, and some even weirder people who inhabit the place...

The basis of this film is brilliant, very haunting and spooky,and the performances are actually very good. This was the first Amicus movie (Hammer Horror's rival)and by gum it was a memorable film. There is something about this film that will certainly get under your skin, and has mine, for I saw it a few days ago and stilll cannot stop thinking about it!

The Corpse Vanishes - 1942 * * *

Kidnapped Brides are his victims!

This film for me showed signs of being compared to Dracula. Lugosi is the evil doctor who drugs soon-to-be brides with a poisoned orchid and extracts their essence to keep his rapidly ageing wife alive. Lugosi's assistant, a hunchbacked and moronic creature also showed similarities with Count Dracula's Reinfield. The story in itself was pretty cheesy but still managed to kick a decent punch in the scare records. Lugosi is the most amazing presence on screen and you really feel like you can't keep your eyes off him, regardless of what he is doing; he truly is one of the early horror greats of the screen.