(HORROR) The Deaths of Ian Stone - 2007 *

This was ridiculously bad. I am trying to watch all the AfterDark HorrorFest movies and so far have not enjoyed a single one of them.

A young man is murdered everyday, and everyday has to adjest to a new life as a group of totally unscary vampires in leather catsuits chase after him in an attempt to 'feed on him'.

A totally bizarre film ( isn't that woman the one from 'Hustle'?) that was more unsettling than scary. In fact it was just rubbish.

(HORROR) Whisper - 2007 *

Sort of a mixture of 'The Omen' and 'Esther', athough this movie failed to deliver on all accounts, including being well acted or having a good plot-line. the actor playing the young boy was so annoying I couldn't focus properly much on the other characters, but it seems to me that they were all equally uninteresting and not properly 'fleshed out'. Also just generally boring. I didn't like it.

(HORROR) Black Water - 2007 *

Of course I was drawn to this movie because of the 'based on true events' posted across the front of the DVD box. I still haven't been able to grasp that that rarely means any of the story is true, and still keep going back for more each time. Suffice it to say, I was disappointed with 'Black Water', as 3 people go fishing in a remote part of Northern Australia, and end up being almost held hostage by a giant crocodile who has already eaten their guide. The whole time I was watching this I was thinking 'why would you be so stupid to go off somewhere so remote in an area that is known for crocodiles?'. Any sympathy you have for these people sort of disappears quickly as the film progresses.

(NOIR) The Glass Key - 1942 ***

It's hard to follow this story, but whether you understand it or not it's still fun to watch the gorgeously sultry Veronica Lake in a movie simply made for her, as well as getting my first glimpse of Alan Ladd who is probably one of the best film-noir cool guys that there are, along of course with Bogart and Cagney.

Actually I found Brian Donlevy pretty funny as well, and typically classic in his style and personality. I love old films, and even if the story was somewhat questionable I can still enjoy watching these amazing people do what they do best. I'm very wary about reading anything more by Dashiell Hammett since my last experience with reading 'The Thin Man' and so may put off reading this novel.

(HORROR) Grace - 2009 **

Oh my god, what a dreadful evening for films, what with this and 'Mega Piranha' I may just give up watching films all together.. No I won't. But it makes me want to when I see this kind of tripe.

A woman miscarries and decides to go ahead and deliver the baby anyway. The baby comes back to life and all it seems to want to do is drink human blood (Yeah yeah).

To be honest I guess I chose this film to see because I was hoping for some gore so I shouldn't be moaning that it's as rubbish as I thought it probably would be.

Mega Piranha - 2010 **

I seem to be obsessed with forcing myself to watch awful movies. Especially 'creature features' which are NEVER as good as I think they are going to be. 'Mega Piranha' was pretty ghastly, with a load of people who looked like other people that had been extras in other bad movies, so it was great fun trying to pick those out. It was about the only thing I could do to not be bored senseless. No more, I will force myself if necessary to not watch anymore hideous 'films' like these (see how long that will last)

(HORROR) Dahmer - 2002 **

Based on the life of the serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer I was rather disappointed by this film. It claims to be a biopic but seems to seek to show us this cotton wool version of this man and the crimes he commited, almost trying to justify them because of his broken childhood. Many people come from broken homes without turning into a sadistic killer. I think too often crimes commited by people are justified because of their past, which rarely actually has much of an impact on their present situation. Dahmer's parents divorced, big deal, parents divorce all the time, some children grow up without a mother or a father, it has no baring on the mind-set of someone that would convince them to murder and dismember 17 other human beings. We can only assume that Dahmer is somehow mentally handicapped or insane. The person who plays Dahmer portrays him as this rather lost and timid man who just wants to be accepted because of his sexuality as though this somehow excuses his appalling crimes.

As one reviewer of the film pointed out, if Dahmer saw this he would roaring with laughter at how he is imagined by American cinema, for there was nothing timid or innocent about his cruel sadistic mind, which masterminded a very clever but very twisted individual.

(HORROR) Cropsey - 2009 ****

I was expecting to find this film pretty laughable, but came away feeling very unhinged and overly disturbed. What starts as a documentary about an Urban Legend turns into a sort of True Crime investigation into the disappearance of several mentally disabled children who go missing in Statton Island in the 1980s and the eventual arrest and trial of the lunatic named Andre Rand who is convicted of their brutal killings. We never know for a fact whether Rand is the actual killer or just singled out because of his weird and bizarre behaviour, (one theory is that he murdered children who had a disability in a way of cleansing the world of 'abnormal people', a bit like Jack the Ripper who was said to have killed prostitutes because he thought he was 'cleaning up the streets) but the film-makers do a good job of showing us plenty of footage from witnesses, relatives and people of interest who all paint a terrifying picture of this man.

I love documentaries about serial killers (I know, I know, that makes me sound mentally unhinged), but I did find myself thinking that I was watching two different programmes, one on an urban legend and another on a specific person who may or may not have been guilty of these heinous crimes. Take out the Urban Legend about 'Cropsey' and you would have a 5 star documentary.

Caramel - 2008 ****

A surprisingly riveting film, that merits more than one viewing. It centres around a group of friends who work in a Beauty Parlour in Beirut, and the trials an tribulations that they each have to go through in aspects of their lives and relationships. One is fixated on her affair with a married man, another is a shy lesbian who has feelings for one of her clients, another cannot bear to tell her husband-to-be that he won't be her first lover on their wedding night which could have her imprisoned.

Each story is interesting without going over the top with realistic acting.

Great to see into another world where religion and tradition are so completely alien to the way that Western society is.

(HORROR) Thir13en Ghosts - 2001 ***

Eerie I'll grant you that, but seriously, could this be anymore cliche and 'typical' of an American horror film? A family inherits a weird glass house from a rich, newly deceased relative and get caught up in a load of terrifying ghostly happenings. Too much noise, too much stupid conversation, and you already know what's going to happen... All the reasons to avoid this film.

A Tale of Two Cities - 1935 *****

Wow. I thought that Dirk Bogarde's portrayal of Sydney Carton was one of the best I had seen, but Ronald Colman just blew my mind. His timing, his expressions, his acting, his just general prescence as this character was overwhelming. I honestly don't think anyone could bring Charles' Dickens hero to light like this man.

Most people know the story of A.T.O.T.C. and those that don't should look it up on Wikipedia. I think that this is probably one of the best Dicken's stories that he wrote. Has anyone ever portrayed the French Revolution in equally positive and negative tones? I highly doubt it. It's so passionate and so full of anger and despair that it demands to be read and watched.

The last scene is heart-breaking, and if that doesn't tug at your heart-strings for those poor people then nothing will.

(HORROR) Invitation Only - 2009 **

Can't say I was blown away by this movie. The idea seemed a bit bizarre anyway and only the sort of thing you would imagine happening in a Japanese horror film.

A small group of people are invited to an elite and extravagant party for the rich and famous, only to find out that the party is simply a charade for the real, terrifying entertainment.

There are some very gory scenes here, so it would do to be a mega-gore horror fan, but really the film just seemed to follow the same structure that all other horror movies do. The gore, the nudity, more gore, a bit of girl-on girl action and that's sort of it. If you want to be surprised with a decent and original story then don't watch this ( it's like a rip off of Saw and Hostel) .

(HORROR) Zombies:Wicked Little Things - 2006 **

I'll be honest, the artwork for this DVD makes it look far eerier than it actually is.

The acting was pretty horrific (isn't this supposed to be directed by Tobe Hooper of Texas Chainsaw fame?)

and I was aghast to see that the mother of the 2 daughters looks about the same age as the older daughter. In fact she looks like their sister, and certainly acts like it.

There's the mandatory screaming but not moving, saying 'hello hello is anyone there' at times when it's better to be quiet, and totally reacting and hyperventilating over things that aren't scary at all, i.e. rats, trees, other human beings.

I liked the idea for the story (100 years ago a mine collapses on some children working down there and they come back undead etc), in fact, tell me that the basis of a story was set 100 years ago and you've pretty much sold it to me, but this wasn't convincing at all. I'm not sure whether watching the other 7 of the AfterDark Horrorfest films at the same time is the idea or whether something like this can ever be good as a standalone. I think I've seen one other from the list, which was about 10 million times better (The Abandoned) so I guess really it's best to judge each on it's individual merits/negatives.

Oh but one of the weird men does look a bit like an old Sean William-Scott on acid - pretty funny. You certainly need to laugh having to sit through this.

Hoodwinked - 2005 ****

I don't understand why this film was so badly slated on it's release. Sure it's not a Disney or a Pixar but it's still very funny, very unique and has some memorable characters.

We have a rather 'Rashomon' like story, involving a little girl named 'Red' who is arrested after turning up to visit her grandmother in the woods and finds herself face to face with a cocky and slightly arrogant wolf in a granny mask and a manic German woodcutter wielding an axe.

The police hear each story from each person and everyone has something different to say, leading to some hilarious scenes involving some most unsavoury characters.

I love the unique approach to the Red Riding Hood story, I'm surprised really that no one else has thought it up before hand, and the animation was good. I actually liked the fact that it incorporated other parts of famous animated films (one viewer commented on how annoying it was that the music sounded like it came from 'Shrek' which is precisely what I liked about it!)

and that the director wasn't scared to copy ideas whilst keeping it individual and fresh.

A good, funny and totally underrated film.

(NOIR) Le Corbeau (The Raven) - 1943 ***

A completely unheard of French noir which is always a plus for me as I love noir with a passion. The story follows a French Doctor who starts to receive poison pen letters from a mysterious person accusing him of performing illegal abortions and having an affair with his patient. One by one the other members of the story begin to also receive letters and must work quickly to decifer the true culprit. It's not a bad film, and some parts are really eerie, especially the very last scene, and I never guessed who it was. I guarantee that anyone watching will guess the same person that I originally did.

Casque D'or - 1952 ****

This movie had a 'Partie De Campagne' feel about it to me at the beginning, and it intrigued me to watch more. Particularly because Simone Signoret looks so incredibly graceful here as opposed to her hard-faced, no nonsense character in 'Les Diaboliques'. Playing a gangster's moll she is mesmerised by the presence of a young man who has just been released from jail and who is known to her boyfriend (one of the leaders of the gang) who is infuriated with her growing closeness to him.

The acting is really very good, and special praise must go to Serge Reggiani who plays the ex-con that Marie (Signoret) falls in love with. A great 'Bell Epoque' affair.

Love Me Tonight - 1932 ***

I was expecting more from this movie, only because it's always raved about by eminent film critics who say it's probably the best early musical ever made. I don't think it is. And I've seen a lot of musicals. Can we not count a Fred and Ginger movie such as 'Swing Time' as the best instead?

This is over the top, but not in a fun and excitable way which musicals are supposed to be, more over the top in an awkward and not particularly enjoyable way where you find yourself fidgeting and fast forwarding the songs to get to the dialogue. The story doesn't really matter, it's a typical rom-com but with songs thrown in, and although everyone seems to think Maurice C stole the show, I think that prize should really be given to Myrna Loy.

Jeanette MacDonald is simply a pain to watch and hardly any of the songs are memorable except for the song Chevalier sings entitled 'Mimi', which I swear I have heard in another musical... (It's not changed to 'Gigi' in the film of the same name is it?). Anyway, it's not really a brilliant attempt at a star-studded music of the early 30s that I would have liked. Sorry. But my opinion.

The Illusionist - 2010 ****

This is a delightfully quirky animated French film. And was a real joy to watch and experience.

An out of work illusionist from France travels to Scotland for a trip and meets a young girl who becomes fascinated by him. She follows him to Edinburgh and that is when their lives change.

The animation is sumptuous, the dialogue is minimal but perfectly in tune with the rhythm of the film, and the main character is most likeable. Add in some lovely music and you have this little treat. I would love to watch it again.

Love and Death - 1975 ***

Planning to assassinate Napoleon was never this much fun! Well of course it's Woody Allen and therefore it's going to be bizarre, funny and totally random. Allen plays a cowardly Russian peasant who is forced into enlisting in the army against his will, getting himself into some typically ridiculous and toe-curling situations as he does so!

Diane Keaton is pleasantly fresh and youthful looking in this and bounces off the manic and unmatched Woody in every scene they share. It's not taking a place next to my 2 favourite Woody films quite yet, but there are still other Woody films to see before I can construct my top 5 favourites. Definitely one of the funniest however.

(HORROR) Chain Letter - 2010 ***

Now this is an interesting horror film, because despite it's typical huge amounts of gore/nudity shots that seem almost a staple diet of horror films nowadays it does actually in my opinion have an interesting storyline. Well no, actually it's not the story that's interesting, more the hidden meaning. The story is simply a maniac going around killing high schools students because they don't pass on a chain letter that they recieve. That's fair enough, but the meaning I understand from the film is that technology can be a very dangerous and destructive thing. The students are totally reliant on their phones, and in one scene, the technology teacher demonsrates being able to disconnect every mobile in the room with the simple flick of a switch. The students appear almost distraught without these objects, and I guess it shows just how bizarre and obsessive people have become as regards to technology over the last few years. As the technology teacher says 'there is no privacy anymore, nowadays people can contact you at any minute of the day, you have no private time.'

So as regards to that I have rated this movie one star more than I usually would just a run of the mill horror movie because it actually has a message attached to it.

Network - 1976 **

Eek I didn't really get this film, and that's why I'm giving it a low mark, not because of how good or bad it was. It certainly had an excellent cast, although I didn't even recognise William Holden!

All about power and corruption behind the scenes of the Television network.

Faye Dunaway is almost unrecognisable compared to her character in 'Bonnie and Clyde' 10 or so years ago, but about 10 times more hard-nosed.

I can't think of much to say about this film, I watched it because I had to for my book list, but I wouldn't see it again. Probably the best scene which is now famous in movies all over is where the presenter instructs the audience to open their windows and shout 'I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore' out of it. Resulting in a rather memorable and slightly poignant scene.

Trouble in Paradise - 1932 ***

This is one of the first 'screwball' films ever made, before the actual concept of screwball came into place. This film in a way defined the genre.

Hopkins stars as a glamourous crook, who meets Marshall, another crook, and together they decide to 'go to work' on rich Madame Kay Francis. Hopkins is in it purely for the money, whilst Marshall realises he wants more than that.

My highlight was Edward Everett Horton who always makes me laugh and always plays the same character in whatever he appears in ( famously the Fred and Ginger movies).

This movie was certainly put in my 1001 book for a reason, and I'm glad I watched it, but it's not one I would watch again.

Broken Embraces - 2009 ****

Pedro Almodovar rarely makes a bad movie. I think the only one I didn't enjoy was 'Live Flesh' which I saw a few years ago.

Broken Embraces is fascinating to watch and as always, Almodovar has chosen the very best actors to fulfill his expectations of his piece. Penelope Cruz is a staple form and stars here as the mistress of a millionaire who falls in love with the director of a film that she wants to appear in. Knowing how much she wants to act in the film, the millionaire agrees to finance the production, which of course means that Cruz cannot leave her lover for the director. It's hilarious to note that this 'film' is almost a clone of 'Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown' (look for all the references towards it i.e. the gazpacho, the burning bed,) although the real plot is far less humorous. We see all this in a series of flashbacks from the film director's point of view who is now blind.

A very weird film, but wonderfully done anyhow. Well worth a watch.

Electric Dreams - 1984 *

The best thing about this movie was the music. Only that could keep me going. The plot was totally ridiculous, highly dated and thoroughly unfunny. A man buys a new computer which falls in love with the same woman that he has feelings for. It's not even sci-fi, it's just weird, and totally unrealistic acting from Lenny von Dohlen and Virginia Madsen. Stay away from the movie, it's just a waste of time.

I'm obviously on a bad-movie slump at the moment...

Body Double - 1984 *

Pathetic excuse of a movie. Messy, pretentious and badly acted. Brian De Palma has really disappointed me considering his 'Dressed to Kill' movie that I saw a while ago was so good. The plot is a story in a story but really it doesn't matter, it's a waste of time and completely uninteresting. Life is too short to give bad films much more thought.

Funny Farm - 1988 ***

Chevy Chase is a funny actor but so far I haven't seen anything that merits itself better than the National Lampoon movies that he is famously known for.

Chase stars as Andy Farmer, a writer who has recently bought a weirdly disfunctional house in the country with his wife where he can write to his heart's content without any distractions. Well if it's not bad enough being so far away they can't contact anyone if they are in trouble they also have a series of mishaps including the movers losing their bed, the telephone going missing and then only accepting quarters when it's located, the maniac of a delivery man throwing their newspaper into the river, and to top it all, having a car accident which results in Andy barely being able to walk. All in the space of a few weeks. It's quite a funny film but it's no way near on the scale of something like 'Caddyshack' which is literally a laugh a minute.

The Long Night - 1940 *** 1/2

Henry Fonda really is an excellent actor, he's so natural and realistic which makes watching him really appealing. I'm determined to continue trying to watch as many of his films as I can, I'm sure there are still a fair few left to see!

This film stars Fonda as well as good old Vincent Price who tries to pass himself off as Fonda's new girlfriend's father because he secretly has obsessive feelings for her. He succeeds in brain-washing Fonda's girlfriend with magic tricks (he's a performing magician on the stage) and power of persuasion leading to a nail-biting finale.

I've never seen Ann Dvorak in anything but she's sassy and tough and I liked her character very much. Price was very good, slightly hammy but that's his trademark and of course Fonda stole the show.

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not - 2002 **** 1/2

The more I think about this film the more I am convinced how utterly brilliant it is, and would dearly like to see it again. It is the weirdest feeling to spend half the film with an abject opinion on the situation before my eyes and then for it to suddenly change to the other end of the spectrum.

Tautou plays a girl deeply in love with a married man ( who she says has promised to leave his wife, don't they all say that?) who decides to take drastic measures she comes under the impression that the man does not want her. I don't really even want to talk about the film, just to tell everyone to see it because I spent half the film feeling a certain way about the male population and realised through the second half that my feelings were totally wrong!

Tautou is marvellous and very so slightly weird in this role. Sort of a bit like a dark version of 'Amelie'. See it!

Matador - 1986 *** 1/2

Almodovar is brilliant at sly and sarcastic humour and I think he delivers here. As usual there are some bizarre bits, some gruesome bits and some sexual bits. Antonio Banderas is the main lead, a trainee matador who admits to a series of murders because of his stifling upbringing. His mentor at the same time spends a lot of time become aroused over violence and blood in horror films and doesn't seem overly upset when he finds out that Banderas has attempted to rape his girlfriend. It sounds horrible but actually with an Almodovar movie you can't really take the whole thing too seriously. It's just entertainment. Added to which is great fun for me to spot actresses from his other films popping up all over the place ( isn't Banderas' mother the head mother in 'Bad Habits'??)

Bachelor Mother - 1939 ***

I think that however much I love Ginger Rogers as an actress that (with the exception of 2 other films) she only really shines in her Fred and Gingers escapades.

I didn't think much of this film, and I certainly don't think it's one I would care to see again. David Niven was probably the only good thing about it, and Ginger Rogers was completely non-descript and uninteresting ( in my opinion) which was a shame really because she is so incredibly beautiful and charming in her collaborations with Astaire.

Rogers takes pity on an abandoned baby and goes to pick it up, only for the owner of the orphanage to assume that it is in fact Rogers who mothered the baby. She therefore has to take the baby home which causes all sorts of problems, especially as she has just been fired from her job. (One plot-hole I find amazing is that all the people who know her don't question the fact that she has suddenly acquired a child without even looking pregnant or going into labour, but hey, suspend disbelief n'all) David Niven of course comes to the rescue and romance blossoms. But I just didn't mesh with the film.

(To watch a couple of films Ginger is actually good in try 'Lucky Partners' with Ronald Coleman and of course 'Monkey Business' with Cary Grant:) )

Anger Management - 2003 *****

One of the funniest films I have seen in a long time, this comedy brings an odd match of characters (Nicholson and Sandler) together in the most laughable ways imaginable. Sandler is wrongly sentenced to an anger management course where he must learn to control his non-existent anger within a certain number of weeks or he will be sent to jail. Nicholson is his anger therapist, the most unconventional and hilariously eccentric one you will ever have seen. Some extremely funny scenes here, and really I came away from this film with a great smile on my face, and to be honest, I don't often feel that way with modern comedies! Two thumbs up, way, way up!

Waiting to Exhale - 1995 ***

This is a fairly enjoyable film although I agree with other reviewers who say that 3 out of the 4 women are embroiled in relationships where the man is either married or seeing someone else, and therefore you don't feel a tremendous amount of sympathy towards them when they moan about how the men in their lives aren't treating them very well ( except for the woman who is dumped by her husband for the younger woman). Surely they are as much to blame as the men they seduce?? Anyway, if I push that to the back of my mind and try to enjoy this film on a purely entertainment level ( that's hard for me, I always have to analyse!) then you come away from it feeling pretty good, and pretty strong as a female with the feeling that actually, you don't need a man to make a good life for yourself. Angela Bassett gives a great performance.

(HORROR) The Human Centipede - 2009 *

I guess I did let myself in for this nauseating excuse of a horror film. But I was morbidly curious to see what all the fuss was about, and as always I wish I hadn't bothered.

2 Women become stranded after their car breaks down in Germany (what a surprise) and they are offered warmth and a place to rest and dry off from the pouring rain by a strange man. Of course like the gullible idiots that females always seem to be in horror films (I'm not being sexist, I'm a female myself) they accept his proposal and before long are being cut up and attached to each other in ways I would rather not discuss to fulfil his bizarre fantasy of making a human centipede. Well I've said it once and I'll say it again, if you don't want to get butchered in a slowly agonising way don't go into a strange man's house in the middle of the night and drink anything they give you as 9/10 it will be a sedative. They apparently knew best. Horrible film, but I guess the horror was there and it made me feel pretty unwell towards the end...so it sort of did it's job!

(HORROR) Open House - 2010 **

Another totally ridiculous excuse for a good horror movie. I don't know why I bother really, but I always believe there will be a truly scary film out there...

A young woman has split from her partner and is hoping to sell her house, but what she doesn't know is that a man who she doesn't know is hidden underneath her kitchen in the cellar waiting to pounce and kill her so that he and his girlfriend ( who have a very disturbing open relationship) can move in. I can't actually believe I'm writing that, that's how laughable this film is. The acting is awful, one of the lead women is so anorexic looking that you can actually see her ribcage ( what a wonderful example for all young women out there) and the main lead woman does a lot of screaming and running too slowly. I swear if I was a director I would at least try and make a plausible scene where the victim runs FAST instead of waiting for the killer to try and bump them off before they make a slow move. Yawn.

Genova - 2008 *****

Seriously, does Colin Firth ever make a bad film?! No.

In 'Genova' he plays a distraught lecturer who takes his two daughters to Genova after the death of their mother in a car accident. The idea is that the girls will have the summer to make themselves at home and become accustomed to the language and then start school there the next term whilst Joe (Firth) teaches English Literature at an Italian University.

The oldest daughter becomes sexually promiscious and starts hanging around with an Italian guy whilst the youngest still wakes up constantly with nightmares about her dead mother.

At the same time as this, Joe becomes close to a woman at the University who he had a brief relationship with a number of years ago at Harvard.

I think the film is excellent, brilliantly acted, slow to start and then building up to a number of events that change the family's situation yet again. I think there is a bit of false advertising however, as I believed this to be a chilling and gripping tale maybe with a ghost added in for good measure which is not the case, more about a family learning to cope with a tragic loss. Firth is superb. And the beautiful scenery makes this film extra special. Keep up the good work Colin!

Body of Evidence - 1993 ***

On Amazon there is a page of early nineties movies that are recommended to me each time I go on there. My aim is to be able to see them all, as each movie leads me off on a journey to another handfull of films.

'Body of Evidence' is one of them, and whilst it was a typically sexualised film ( Madonna seeming to delight in being naked in the majority of her scenes) it did have quite a good storyline. Madonna is accused of murdering her crinkly old partner for his large inheritance in what we can only imagine as sexing him to death so that he has a heart attack.

Willem Dafoe takes her on as a client and oh what a surprise the inevitable happens, he becomes attracted to her and her seemingly weird obsession with sex.

Madonna isn't a bad actress but she's not one of the best either, so it wasn't too much of an upset when this film came to an end. I wasn't expecting the ending though.

Five Easy Pieces - 1970 ***

Jack Nicholson plays a thoroughly dislikeable man who works on an oil rig and spends his evenings getting drunk and sleeping with women, whilst his adoring and devoted girlfriend Rayette waits for him.

The characters are horrible, and I know that's what the film is trying to do with the whole 'real life' attitude but I just didn't enjoy it. Nicholson doesn't seem the right person for the part and Karen Black is the weirdest looking woman in the film. I didn't have any sympathy for her, despite the fact she is treated like garbage by Nicholson.

I think there was supposed to be a point in this film about some people never changing, and I'm not saying that I can't like a film with an unsympathetic character, but it helps if there is a bit of plot development so that I don't feel that I'm wasting my time. Sadly there didn't seem to be any here and I finished the film feeling like men just don't know how to treat women very well. (PS I don't actually think that it was Nicholson's amazing acting that played this horrible, egotistical character, I think it was himself simply playing the person that he is.)

The Fallen Idol - 1948 *****

A butler working for a member of the British Embassy becomes accused of the murder of his wife after she falls to her death at the home, and the only witness is the diplomat's son, who recently saw him with another woman and was told to keep it a secret, not knowing that in this instance, keeping secrets is never the right thing to do.

So many hints and suggestions in this film, mainly about children not being as clueless as we may think they are, and how it is never good to lie to children, however small the lie is or well meant for it can have devastating effects.

Carol Reed is onto a winner with this movie, brilliantly acted (although the little boy gets on my nerves towards the end) and taut and tense throughout, this is definitely a movie to watch. With an excellent performance from Ralph Richardson playing the butler Baines.

Ninotchka - 1939 ***

I'm going to be most unpopular when I say this but I actually don't think Greta Garbo is that much of an actress.

She's beautiful and elegant yes, and dry-witted with a quick sense of humour, but as regards to her acting I'm sure there are more talented female stars of this era. (Eeek what a can of worms I've opened now!)

The story is reasonably funny but to be honest I'm surprised that this movie made it to the top 1001 movies to see before you die list. However was good to see Melvyn Douglas in a slightly humourous role.

A Night at The Opera - 1935 *****

Thank goodness for the Marx Brothers at the beginning of the 1930s. Really I think America was very lucky to inherit this group of hilarious and talented men who brought a smile to all sorts of people.

A Night at the Opera is a very funny movie. Pure and simple. It doesn't matter about the date it was made or the fact it's in black and white. It's funny and timeless, and Groucho Marx may well be one of the funniest men in films.Ever. His quick comebacks and delivery make every scene that he is in a cinematic treat and his personality is so big that it's almost as though the whole movie is crafted around him.

(My favourite scene involves all the Brothers, beautifully improvising as Groucho invites more and more people into the already packed cabin room on the ship that they happen to be on until there are about 12 people in a room the size of a box, with Groucho narrating as they go). It's pretty much a perfect scene.

This film is one to be enjoyed over and over, and I can imagine myself learning a fair few quotes off this. I must check out the other Marx Brothers' work, I can't believe I have let these amazing actors slip through my fingers for so long.

(NOIR) Nightmare Alley - 1947 ** 1/2

I've never seen Tyrone Power in anything until I watched this last night. I'm not sure really whether I admire him or find him very annoying. All he does is seem to chew gum throughout the film and smirk with a one-sided grin.

I didn't think much of the storyline either - a carnie sets about scamming people with a fellow circus performer (Joan Blondell) who claims to be able to be speak to and communicate with the dead. Add in some fighting and a girl who seems totally besotted by Power whilst he struts around treating her like dirt and you sort of have the movie.

Not a film noir, sorry, but if you compare this to something like 'The Big Heat/Out of the Past' it couldn't be less like a noir. ( Well it is in b&w but you know what I mean!)

I wouldn't bother with it again.

(HORROR) Abandoned - 2010 ****

Abandoned was actually a pretty good film!

Yes I know Brittany Murphy looked pretty ghastly by now but she was still good in her part and it was nice to see old Dean Cain in something again.

The plot follows Mary ( Murphy) who is going with her boyfriend to his surgery appointment at the hospital.

She leaves him in his room and then goes and waits for an hour as instucted by the nurse.

When she returns to the room it is empty, and when she asks at the reception desk no one appears to have heard of or seen her boyfriend. He isn't even on the medical list for appointments that day... I love these films, very sort of 'Flight-Plan'/The Lady Vanishes where one person is effectively having to battle against every other person in the film to prove that someone exists.

Sad I suppose to see Murphy looking this way in her last film, but try and look past that and enjoy the plot. I did.

(NOIR) Sorry, Wrong Number - 1948 ****

Okay, I'm on a rant at the moment with stupid and arrogant characters so it's just as well I decided to come here next.

Stanwyck really is a great actress and it's exciting watching her in something that is just plain old-fashioned scary. Added to which I found myself absolutely despising her character in this which is always the mark of a great star.

A bed-ridden woman one hot night tries to contact her husband by telephone, only to fall into the centre of a murder plot between two men on the other line.

Practically unable to walk she is absolutely terrified about the call she has heard but cannot get the police to co-operate.

Throught the night she speaks to various different people and we have some flash-backs to show how she got ino the situation she is now in, and really she is a deeply unpleasant woman! Burt Lancaster plays her husband, who's secret meeting with an old flame drives Barbara mad with jealousy (considering she was the one who stole him off the woman to start with!) and so we wait through the night, although not much time really elapses to see what happens at the end...

Note to self, must watch more Stanwyck movies!

Married Life - 2007 ***

This is a bit of an odd film, and I watched it, mistakenly thinking that it was set in the 1920s ( I think it's the early 50s in actual fact) which was a bit of a blow.

The film revolves around a man who, after being with his loving and devoted wife for a number of years, decides that in fact he has fallen for a blonde bimbo that he knows. Instead of being a man and telling his wife that the relationship is over he decides instead that poisoning her is 'kinder' and will save her all the heartache that his betrayal may otherwise bring.

(So we can already tell he's a selfish *****, particularly when his wife is so nice to him.)

His closest friend (played slimely by Pierce Brosnan) is a playboy who likes to bed a different woman every night. And as soon as he hears that his friend is in love with someone else, he decides to also chase after her to give himself a bit of a challenge.

Rachel McAdams plays the blonde woman who doesn't seem to be very interesting or particularly amusing, but hey, she's blonde so that's all that matters!

I know this was supposed to be a gentle comedy ( it's only rated PG) but I couldn't help being reminded of past incidents from the newspaper where men have decided to kill their wives instead of actually leaving them as though they think acting this way is acceptable. It's digusting to think that some men are so arrogant that they think their wife would rather be six feet under because of their husbands' betrayal than to make a new life for themselves with someone deserving of them.

(A case a couple of years ago in Shropshire reminds me of this, about a millionaire who, after going bankcrupt, murders his wife and daughter and then himself instead of being honest and telling them about his financial difficulties.

How dare he assume that because he was in difficulty it was better for his family to all die than to try and work through it, who made him god???! Maybe his wife may have been able to find someone else or his daughter might have had a good life anyway, but no, he didn't think like that, only of himself.)

Sorry for my rant, but that is what I was thinking about throughout this movie so it kind of spoilt it for me, and I certainly had no sympathy for this toad of a human being masquerading as a man. I wonder if I've become immune to senseless comedy?

House of Wax - 1953 ****

How people can choose the nauseating 2005 version with Paris 'stupid' Hilton over this I can't imagine!

Vincent Price is excellent as always, this time playing a talented sculptor who creates wax models of famous people in history to put in his museum. Things change however when his so-called friend whom he had made a partner to decides to burn down his museum and in the process belives that he has killed Price.

Of course he hasn't! Vincent is soon back as strong as ever, and (unknown to his 'friend') this time working on a new collection of murdered people from the past. Some of them look almost lifelike...

It's a bit of a cheesy film, but good fun and although you sort of know what's going to happen that doesn't stop you enjoying the legend that is Vincent Price. A saturday afternoon cosy film!

Don't talk to Strange Men - 1962 *****

An excellent film!

One with a simple message that really hits home with some very good acting and just the right length. It almost feels a bit like one of those propaganda films made in the 1950s- about what sorts of things we should be worried about in everyday life.

The plot is simple, a young girl who regularly babysits her father's friend every night waits for the bus afterwards and is enticed into a phone conversation at the phone box with a mystery man who seems to be interested in her. Of course for older girls in this situation the alarm bells would ring but this girl is gullible and doesn't believe there is any harm in just talking, despite the fact that she ends up giving out information that is personal to her which puts her life in danger.

Throw in a small sub-plot of her younger sister and you have the story. It's not over the top, there is no blood yet it scared the hell out of me. *SPOILERS*More because it shows that actually there are evil and dangerous people out there who can masquerade as decent and normal ones whilst having ulterior motives.

I would imagine that when this came out it convinced families to be extra vigilant with their children which therefore meant it did its job. Brilliant, oh and lets not forget Cyril Raymond as the girl's father who senses something is up but doesn't sense it in time. He's great.

Selena - 1997 ***

This was I would imagine a pretty faithful drama based on the life and death of international superstar Selena who took the world by storm over 15 years ago with her new and refreshing crossover of Spanish and English music.

Jennifer Lopez acted well, and although she may not have been the most like her counterpart she still gave me a good idea of Selena's life and all too tragic death. I don't think the death was focused on as much as it could have been however as we are only aware of it about 5 minutes from the the end of the film. I would have liked a little more background into why it happened and maybe to have been shown a reconstruction of the actual event ( I don't mean that to sound as ghoulish as it does!)

A film worth watching for a glimpse into the life of a brilliant star.

The Shop Around the Corner - 1940 ****

I should have known that a film like 'You've Got Mail' would have been based on a classic film. Strangely I had no idea that it was this one!

But I love exploring new classic movies so this was right up my street.

Stewart is his usual 'good-guy' self with a slightly kooky attitude (which we all know and love him for) and stars as a clerk in a grocery store in Budapest ( don't ask me why it's set there as there seem to be a huge amount of Americans in the same place) who starts a friendly correspondence with a mystery girl where they both discuss literature and cultural ideals without knowing who the other is.

Around the same time a young girl convinces the manager of the store to let her take up employment there and starts to get severely on Jimmy Stewart's nerves and visa versa. But, you've guessed it, unknown to him (of course) it's the same girl from the correspondence and neither of them can stand each other!

You know what's going to happen because you've either seen the remake or you just know about old films in general but suffice it to say this is a pretty decent attempt at a nice classic comedy.

Jezebel - 1938 ***

Bette Davis was certainly known for her quick temper and this film seems to prove that. I can't imagine she was a particularly pleasant woman to work with but she still delivers a good performance in this movie about a feisty young woman in mid 19th century Louisiana who defies rule and doesn't listen to anybody. Her headstrong manner doesn't do her any good however and after one memorable scene involving a red dress, her fiance Pres (played somewhat weakly by Henry Fonda) decides enough is enough and leaves her. Her arrogance from that day forward is shattered and she tries to come to terms with what has happened.

The story itself isn't one of the more interesting that I have seen but it's always good to see Miss Davis in a film where she really gets to throw herself into the part. You could look at this film as a pre Gone With the Wind experience. But I can't say I found this as good as the latter.

The Red Balloon - 1956 *****

I've never really been in the right mood to watch this short film but last night I decided that enough was enough.

Breathtaking is I think the right word to describe this glorious and adorable movie about a little boy who finds a red balloon with a life of it's own and takes it everywhere with him from his school to the bakery, to his house and through the local streets amusing and astounding passers-by.

The amazing thing about this movie is that the balloon really does appear to have a mind of it's own and we see it follow the boy and 'run away' from other children who want to take it. It's just wonderful to watch and after a while you stop seeing the balloon as an object and focus on it as something with feelings which I have never done before in a film.

It's a gentle film, a beautifully shot experience (the last scene is probably one of the most perfect I have ever seen) and there are maybe 20 words said in the whole thing. This film doesn't need dialogue to show you how superb it is, all it needs is a little boy with the most photogenic expression and a 'character driven' red balloon and you have what is close to a perfect film. And I don't say that very often.