(HORROR) Surviving Evil - 2009 *

Billy Zane's acting career has completely crashed. A totally stupid film. Hideous acting, I don't even want to write a proper review except to say a load of people running around and having sex in a remote forest whilst being chased by a make believe shape-shifter is hardly a good plot device for a horror movie. I'm glad I could delete it off my computer afterwards. Billy Zane should just take up gardening and give up acting.

How Stella Got her Groove Back - 1998 ****

I'd heard great things of this movie but only just finished watching it. I thought it was really amazing. Angela Bassett looks amazing for her ages (I have no idea how close to 40 she actually is in this but she looks lovely anyway).

She stars as a 40 year old woman who has lost all interest in romance and love, and it's only on a whim that she grabs best friend Whoopi Goldberg and takes her off to Jamaica for a break. Both women have totally different ideas of what they want from the holiday, but before long Stella has met a gorgeous young man named Winston who seems utterly besotted by her despite being 20 years younger than her.

This is a pleasing film, although I know some people see the idea of an older woman and a younger man almost bordering on illegal, but to me age shouldn't matter as long as you are compatible. No one ever slags off a Hugh Hefner wannabe snagging a young girl.

Anyway, a great film, a happy film, an upbeat film, showing you that love usually comes along when you least expect it. Plus some great songs.

Beauty Shop - 2005 ****

I really like Queen Latifah, she's the epitome of a strong, independant and larger than life woman.

In this movie she plays Gina, who decides to open up her own salon when she quits her old job working for Jorge (Kevin Bacon) who constantly puts her down and insults her work.

Starting up the new place is tough, but with the help of her friends, her relatives and a lovely man upstairs she soon has the whole place buzzing and full to the brim with customers. Jorge is disgusted, and sets out to ruin her plans.

A really good cast, an upbeat movie with a feel-good factor.

Buried - 2009 *****

I'll be honest, I put off watching this film for a really long time because I had seen the first five minutes or so and though that Ryan Reynolds was pretty rubbish.

When my best friend came over I decided it was time to dust it off and press play, and I must say I was completely gripped by his acting, and think this is one of the most controversial and powerful movies of the year.

Reynolds plays an American truck driver stationed out in Iraq, who wakes up to find himself buried in a coffin with only a handful of things such as a phone to help him before his oxygen supply runs out.

The first thing he tries to do is establish how and why he is in the situation and then tries to ascertain how best to get himself out. Throughout the film there is only Reynolds, (there are voices on the phone but no other bodies) he carries the whole movie effectively by himself in this small, concealed area, and I think his acting is pretty darn amazing. He has totally gone up in my estimations as an actor.

Many people will probably wonder how you can make a whole film based around this topic, but it can be done, and done to the bet of it's ability. Plus an ending I really didn't expect. A film that will leave you shocked and shaking for ages afterwards.

Smiley Face - 2007 ****

This was utterly hilarious. I actually fell off my chair at one point because I was laughing so much.

Anna Faris really is one very funny actor, and in this she plays a layabout stoner who eats her room-mate's hash cupcakes by accident and ends up running all over town trying to get attend an audition, find some money and hide from a less than happy drug dealer who she owes dosh - all in one very long acid-trip day.

Some scenes really had me in stitches, and the whole film seems like it would be even funnier if you were drunk or at the very least high on red bull.

One I will want to see again.

(HORROR) Homecoming - 2009 **

My best friend came over the other weekend and we decided to watch a couple of horror films.

I must say that I was hoping this was going to be far better than it was. It seemed to be a mix of 'Misery' and 'Single White Female' but with none of the really good bits.

Mischa Barton, whom I last saw playing a wimpy non-descript character in the OC totally came out of her shell in this to play a psychologically disturbed young woman who decides to seek revenge when the ex love of her life comes back home for the holidays with his new girlfriend.

On the surface she is happy and supportive of his new relationship, but underneath she is angry beyond compare, and we soon learn that she is hiding some terrifying secrets from her past.

Some scenes are horrifying (there was one scene reminiscent of 'Misery' that made us grimace and have to look away), some are totally ridiculous, and others (including a scene with a mammouth plate of ham) had us rolling on the floor.

Not one I would recommend, instead I would tell people to see the two films mentioned above, but on a plus side Barton's acting was pretty good.

About Last Night... 1986 ****

As mentioned earlier with 'St Elmo's Fire' I'm trying to work my way through all brat pack related movies. Doing so involves watching movies that just one or two of the group have been present in and I thought who better to swat up on first that Demi Moore.

I actually really enjoyed this film. A film that's fairly close to real life and doesn't try to sugar-coat a relationship to make it something that it's not.

Moore and Lowe decide after a night of casual sex to start a relationship, believing that being with each other more and more (to the point where they actually move in together) is making their relationship closer and better. Their friends are totally against them being in a relationship and do and say anything they can to try to talk them out of it. However I must say that the 2 friends are dreadfully unsympathetic characters who seem to find it insulting that their friend has even dared to start a relationship with someone else and therefore push them to one side. This is very true to life and there are plenty of people out there who feel jealous or betrayed when a friend gets a new partner.

Anyway I thought both characters worked well together, and I love Demi Moore (I've seen her now in practically everything she has ever been in) so that was an added bonus. Added to which there is a great soundtrack to this movie. Another great reason to pay it some attention.

12 Days of Terror - 2004 **** 1/2

First off, the poster for this movie looks ridiculous and totally modern which is not what the film is. However, saying that I found this movie utterly compelling, and one of the best shark movies I have ever seen. Added to which, one of the things I liked about it was that it wasn't gory for gore's sake. It tried as best it could to depict events which happened a very long time ago, and although it may not have been spot on I think it was probably as close as it could have been whilst also trying to have a constant storyline as well.

The shark attacks of 1916 that occured in New Jersey really shocked the community, but the fact that the mayor and the police both decided not to close the beach for swimming until 2 attacks had taken place showed a definite lacklustre approach towards the safety of the bathers.

I thought the whole film was very atmospheric, very upsetting and excellently acted (Colin Egglesfield was a standout performance) and the fact that the events were real made it even more terrifying.

Little Fockers - 2010 ****

You don't have to think and analyse with this movie, you just watch it and have a laugh at the great cast. De Niro is great as always as well as Dustin Hoffman and Barbra Streisand.

Gaylord Focker is now the father of 2, living with Pam in a lovely looking house, thinking he has finally made peace with his father-in-law Jack. Throw in some ridiculous episodes involving Gaylord's new work collegue (Jessica Alba) and Jack is convinced his son-in-law is playing away and sets about trying to break up the marriage. Again.

I don't know whether Jessica Alba really adds much to the movie. I mean she is funny but she's a pretty dire actress, and when I mention her alongside the greats that I mentioned above it seems wrong. There are countless other female actors who coudl have taken her place.

Any way, it's fine, it's funny, and it has a hilarious scene involving Robert De Niro's ...erm... tackle. Worth watching for that alone.

The Bridesmaid - 2004 ****

I had no idea this was even Chabrol when I decided that I wanted to watch it. I was mostly captured by the story and the fact it was based on a Ruth Rendall story. When I found out who was directing it as well I decided I had to see it. And it was a totally bizarre and very weird experience.

Philippe has a successful job and is fiercely devoted to his mother. He however begins to resent his family constantly butting into his personal life and asking why he still doesn't have a girlfriend especially as one of his sisters is about to get married. At her wedding he meets one of her bridesmaids named Senta and from then on they begin a passionate and intensely paranoid relationship with terrifying results.

A really mind-blowing experience and proof that so far to my knowledge, Claude Chabrol has not made a duff film yet.

(HORROR) The Morgue - 2008 ** 1/2

Straight to DVD sort of tells you how rubbish this film is going to be even before you start. But for some people like me, effectively being told a film is dire isn't enough to actually stop me watching it. As one IMDB reviewer said, the plot is awful, the acting is totally unnatural and the ending is so obvious that you probably know it even before you press play.

We follow a weird college girl in her night job working as a cleaner at a morgue with only the security man to talk to (who seems to prefer the company of a bottle of scotch to her anyway).

A couple and their daughter break down near the morgue so of course are welcomed in by the girl, followed by an almost comotose man and his friend who appear to have been in some sort of accident. They all want help and so after what seems an eternity of trying to find a connected phone they appear to be on the right track. The girl then goes off to the bathroom to show the woman an impressive looking bloodstain that never seems to fade, and then later on bumps into a hooded figure with a scalpel who looks like he wants to chop her up into bits.

More than the stupid plot, the acting was ridiculous and completely wooden as though the actors had been told to improvise without knowing anything about the actual story.

Ridiculous film.

St Elmo's Fire - 1985 ****

This film is really one of those iconic 80s movies that people always rave about so I had to watch to see what it was all about. Including members of the famous 'brat pack' (the name for the group of actors who regularly appeared in films together) this is really a 'coming of age' movie which brings together a group of students fresh out of college who are starting to have to deal with the real life of relationships and proper jobs as well as their feelings for each other. Add the now famous theme tune which for some reason gives me shivers down my spine when I hear it and you have this film. I recognised the majority of the actors, having seen 'The Breakfast Club' years ago, and it was quite nice to see them all together again. Demi Moore also joined the cast and proved a worthwhile member.

It's very strange because if this had been made now it would most probably have been glossed over, but because it was made 26 years ago (!) it has a very watchable feel to it.

I've decided to make a conscious effort to try and watch all of the Brat Pack movies but this was certainly a welcome second in my list.

(HORROR) Cold Fish - 2010 ***

I'm a huge fan of gruesome things and serial killers (that doesn't make me look very good!) but even this seriously disturbed me. Based on true events (and yes, it's actually true for once!) this is the story of a man and women who dispose of human beings like it's an everyday occurance.

A husband and wife own a tropical fish store and are humiliated when they find out that their daughter has been stealing from another store. Hoping to make peace with the owner he instead offers them a compromise - to have the daughter work at the store to make up for her stealing.

The parents are thrilled as he seems like a perfectly decent and kind man, until his real personality starts to appear.

It's very disturbing certainly, but it keeps you glued to the screen, even at times when you would really rather turn away.

The acting is spot on and I was glad to have watched this because it caught my eye in the store, but it would be hard to watch again. Too much gore even for me!

Dead End - 1937 ***

I wasn't a massive fan of this film, despite having waited over 2 years to watch it. However I did find that Bogart's evil character was a complete change from his usual good-guy persona. He shows in this that he really isn't type-cast and can portray both a positive and a negative character.

The story itself I gather is about social class. We have the slum area of New York, inhabited by the lowest of the low, and the wealthy apartments that have been built above for the view of the East River. Unfortunately it then means that the wealthy are in full view of the poor, and this therefore leads to antagonism between each class.

The first of seven films of the Dead End Kids, I recognised them almost immediately after having seen them in 'Angels with Dirty Faces' some years ago. They portray the poor and desperate kids of the area well, although their constant anger and violent amusement is something that grows tiring after a while.

We then have Sylvia Sydney, the sister of the head of the gang of boys, who has feelings for Joel McCrea, an unemployed architect who spends his time with a rich woman named Kay.

Bogart doesn't pop up immediatly, and when he does it's not a huge deal, (you see his trouserleg!)but soon after, once you really see him get into his part, he sends shivers down your spine, almost like Cagney's Cody Jarrett does in 'White Heat.' Back to the slums to visit his mother and old girlfriend, Martin is in for a shock with what he realises he's left behind and resorts to drastic measure to make his trip home worth while.

The thing with watching Bogart play a bad character (humourously called 'Baby Face' Martin) is that I am constantly expecting him to revert back to his loveable do-gooder, detective persona, who will give a sly wink or smirk to his leading lady before she collapses into his arms, overwhelmed by his charisma, and when that doesn't happen it's a very weird and unsettling moment for me. I can't say I prefer Bogart as an evil character but it's certainly interesting to watch, and Bogart is in my opinion one of the best actors to ever grace the silver screen.

Loulou - 1980 ****

One topic the French seem to do very well is relationships. And here we see the relationship between Depardieu and Huppert and all the good and bad parts of it, like reality. I think films that show perfect relationships are completely pointless, what do they prove and why are we being shown something that doesn't exist?!

Huppert meets Depardieu when she is out with her current boyfriend and finds herself infatuated by him, to the extent that she leaves her boyfriend almost immediately for this man. Her ex goes from being violent and angry over the situation to completely mellow and wanting to hang out with the pair as friends etc.

It's awkward to watch, but sometimes this sort of thing happens in the real world. People who are rejected sometimes can't accept what has happened.

Huppert's character is very raw, and not particularly likeable, after all, throughout the film she seems to flit from one man to the other without feeling or regret. But then again Depardieu's character is not exactly squeaky clean either, and Huppert's ex-boyfriend was fairly abusive in the relationship anyway. So who knows who is right and who is wrong. It's just gritty real life. Excellent film. (Huppert looked so young that I barely recognised her!)

Sleeping with the Enemy - 1991 ****

I really enjoyed this movie.

Julia Roberts plays the abused wife of a controlling and possessive man, who rules her with an iron thumb and smacks her about if she doesn't obey him or do what he says. Seeing the perfect opportunity one day to get away from him she fakes her own death after a frightful storm whilst out in their boat.

She makes it to a new town, changes her name and starts again with a new identity, even meeting a friendly man who tries to help her get a job in the college library. However her husband has found out that she is still alive, and will do whatever it takes to track her down and kill her.

Thrilling and terrifying because this sort of thing does happen in real life; people really can be this evil. Roberts is excellent.

Play it Again, Sam - 1972 *****

Yet again I have stumbled across another of Woody Allen's gems.

This, along with M.N.S.C and Manhattan Murder Mystery are now my three of his favourites.

Allen plays his usual neurotic and slightly hyperactive character, this time trying to get over the breakdown of his marriage with the help of his friend Diane Keaton and his love of old movies (Humphrey Bogart even puts in an appearance) which seems to go drastically wrong when Keaton and her husband try to set Allen up on a series of blind dates.

I think Allen is somebody that people either love or hate for his type of comedy, I can understand why his personality can get a bit much for some people but I personally love him and can never get enough of his movies.

Gaslight - 1940 ***

I was surprised how little I enjoyed this compared to the far superior (in my opinion) version with Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman which is one of my favourite films.

The story is basically the same, but with the names and locations changed.

A man and his wife move to a beautiful address in London where a mysterious murder took place years earlier. The man begins to accuse his wife of misplacing objects and forgetting things and soon she believes that she is going mad, as she can also hear noises from above, although it is clear that there is no one else there.

'Gaslight' is an appropriate name for this movie, because most of the action is shrouded in the foggy depths of 19th century London, and it really adds to the mysterious and eerie feel of the story. Worth watching, but if it's a choice between this and the later version then I would choose the latter.

Pickpocket - 1959 ***

I don't feel really that I am qualified enough to comment properly on Bresson's work, for he's obviously one of the great cinematic directors of all time, but I would just like to say that I found 'pickpocket' to be an incredibly skillful and sharp production of the highest quality, even down to the precise slight of hand tricks that the main character pulls of to pick pockets. The story is simple, but I suppose you could say that it works on many levels as a morality tale, or just a thrilling ride with a man who has the stealthiest fingers ever. Either way you should watch this film.

War of the Roses - 1989 ****

You always hear this mentioned as a comedy but I personally never had the opportunity to watch it until recently. It's a very funny film, with I think some poignant areas but all in all it makes for an enjoyable evening.

Kathleen Turner meets Michael Douglas, the two fall in love, live together, get married, have children etc and then one day she decides actually she doesn't love him and wants a divorce. The problem is of course, who gets the house. He believes he is entitled to the property because he bought it with his own money, she thinks she is entitled to it because she spent her time there raising the children and furnishing and cleaning it and that she deserves it as a sort of compromise. Of course, neither is willing to move and so they continue to live in the same house together, with disastrous consequences.

Both stars put in good performances, although as regards to characters I much prefer that of Michael Douglas, despite the general consensus that he is a cold-hearted and emotionally neglectful husband.

Rushmore - 1998 ***

You can sort of understand that this film was partly written by Owen Wilson, because it's very strange indeed, and anything that Bill Murray stars in seems to be most peculiar, and so put them both together and you have this film about a freakishly clever boy called Max at high school who, regardless of the consequences, spends most of his time taking part in extracurricular activities and spending almost no time with his academia.

Bill Murray sees something in him that fascinates him and they become friends, and shortly after, a new teacher arrives at the school who starts Max off on an obsessive infatuation. It's a very odd film but there is something about it you will probably relate to, and certainly one that people say should be seen. I second that, but I'm still not entirely sure why.

The Other Man - 2008 ****

I really enjoyed this film, as am a big fan of both Neeson and Banderas and I loved the premise for the story.

After his wife dies tragically, Peter ( Neeson) discovers secret emails and photos on her computer, with proof that she has been having an affair with a handsome and seemingly accomplished man named Rafe. Devastated, he begins to search for Rafe's whereabouts, finding him living in Milan, and decides to meet and confront the man over his wife's infidelity.

Neeson is a superb actor and I always have the highest respect for him. He is one of those people that if you saw he was going to be in a film you would know the film was going to be pretty darn good. Banderas is also good at portraying the dark and mysterious figure he so often does in films, and so together they make a great pair.

Night Shift - 1982 ***

Never heard of this before, but it actually turned out to be pretty good, and quite funny as well. Henry Winkler (yes, it's him from 'Happy Days'!) stars as an ex stock-broker Chuck, who after a number of years at his job at the City Morgue, is horrified to find out that he has been promoted to Night Shift Supervisor, a prospect that he is desperately unhappy about. He is even more upset when he realises that his new co-worker (Michael Keaton) is a manic and hyperactive character who is constantly coming up with scheme after scheme night after night which he inflicts on Chuck.

However, it's not long before Chuck realises that the 2 men could be very good together, and start up some kind of enterprise, mainly hoping to help his prostitute neighbour who is in dire need of his advice.

It's a good film, quite quirky, typically 80s, and with some good music thrown in.

Don't Bother To Knock - 1952 ****

Probably one of Marilyn's first big films that made people go wild about her, this thriller sees her as a slightly unhinged babysitter who agrees to look after a little girls for some friends of her cousin in the hotel where he works. Slowly we start to see that she is much more than just a little unhinged with a strange past and a completely bizarre delusion of her current situation, and this all comes to blows when she invites a handsome man from across the road (he can see her through the window) in for a drink.

The man, just recently split from his girlfriend, revels in the idea of this beautiful, mysterious woman offering him company and so he accepts.

I can't actually tell whether Monroe is superb in this or very bad as she does a lot of wide eyed glances and completely overreactes to everything he says in an almost drugged up way. But maybe that's good, maybe we are seeing her proper talent peeking through for the first time, showing that she is more than just a beautiful but dumb woman. It's been one I have wanted to see for a while, so had high expectations, and yes they may not be fully justified, but it was still enjoyable, and I love Marilyn to bits, so want to praise her acting when I can.

Ringmaster - 1998 ***

This was a very weird film, made even weirder by the idea of Jerry Springer playing himself.

A story of a group of characters who, one way or another decide to make sure they get a free trip to New York to star on the Springer Show, whatever the costs. This might involve sleeping with your daughters' boyfriend or sleeping with your girlfriend's best friend, but they don't care. All along sort of giving off a 'trailer trash' vibe.

Jaime Pressly is now in 'My Name is Earl' which I can't stand, and I'm pretty sure she plays the same sort of character there, maybe because she can't phyiscally play anything different. She strikes me as a bit of a 'blonde bimbo' really.

Cul-De-Sac - 1966 *

I felt awful saying this but I felt really let down by this movie. Maybe I didn't understand it but I found it drawn out, flat and completely lifeless.

A married couple live in an isolated castle near the sea which becomes the centre for 2 gangsters on the run from the law. The husband and wife couldn't have less in common if they tried, and what starts off as them working together to try to free themselves from the captors turns into a rather nasty experience where the girl starts to side with the bad guy.

I barely recognised Donald Pleasence and I'm not entirely sure why he was cast in a film like this. I think he stood out like a sore thumb.

I didn't enjoy it, sorry.

The Belles of St Trinian's - 1954 ****

I've seen this and I've seen the newest version of St Trinian's, and I can safely and happily say that I much prefered the original. Alastair Sim is hilarious as both the headmistress and her brother, who find the school in dire straits due to unpaid bills (Miss Fritten prefers to stash all the money she makes away in a safe rather than use any of it to pay the school bills!) and so come up with a scheme that involves a rich new student whose father owns a racehorse. Chaos ensues, but it's all good fun and Sim is one of the only actors I know who is equally believable as a woman. For although you know it's him dolled up in women's clothes you sort of forget once you get into the story. My advice, watch this, forget the remake.

I Confess - 1953 ***

Monty Clift has never put in a bad performance in everything I have seen him in, and here he plays his role with such heart-felt agony that you feel desperately sorry for him. He plays a priest who hears a confession to murder from a man who has recently killed a lawyer. As priests are bound to their word Clift cannot tell on the man or let the police know what is happening, even when the net starts to close in on him as being the guilty suspect.

Anne Baxter was pretty good, but she appeared to have overplayed her part a bit here, would rather watch her again in something like 'The Blue Gardenia.' Look out for Hitch at the beginning of the movie in his usual, light-hearted cameo. As though anyone could forget who has directed any of his movies!

My Left Foot - 1989 *

The reviewer on the poster above says that this film makes you ''laugh out loud with joy.' Really?

Are we watching the same film? Because it seems to me that this is one of the most depressing films I have actually seen in my life.

First things first, Daniel Day-Lewis is an amazing actor, and I don't believe he has ever been in a dud movie. He is full of expression and passion in all his roles, which made it all the more strange that he was the lead role in this, based on a true story about a boy named Christy Brown who is paralysed and can only write, draw etc with his left foot. I'm not saying it doesn't blow your mind to think that someone can actually function that way but I would imagine if that is your only way of being able to communicate with the outside world then you would make a jolly good effort at trying anything.

The performance was spot on, but I just found the subject matter too upsetting to really relax and start enjoying the movie. I know there were funny bits in it but I couldn't get past feeling totally dreadful for Brown and his predicament which I'm sure he would frown on. Not in a pitying way, more that life is dreadfully unfair in how it treats innocent people, but one thing is for sure, and that is that he certainly made the most of his life.

The Blob - 1988 **

Okay, I only watched this because I found this DVD lying around and couldn't see anything else at that particular moment. Oh, and because I thought it would be one of those, 'that was so bad it was actually good' films. It was actually just so bad that it was bloody awful.

It wasn't scary, it was dreadfully acted and the blob itself was hilarious, including in the scene on the front of the DVD where the bloke is literally suffocated by a large ball of what can only be described as mucus, giving off the most hilarious effect where his nose and mouth are pulled right back as though he's seriously gurning at the camera.

The rest of the film was a blur of awfulness. And unless I'm really lucky, I can't quite imagine the original movie being any better.

(NOIR) While the City Sleeps - 1956 *****

C'mon, if it's done by Fritz Lang you know it's going to be superb, and this movie was.

I just love the concept, a movie made about what happens while your normal, everyday people are tucked up in bed.

The results are tremendous. You have Vincent Price as the heir to a newpaper, television station and news service via wire. Instead of deciding for himself who should run the divisions he lets the heads of each one fight it out amoungst themselves.

Each head has one specific person fighting their corner, and Dana Andrews is one of them.

It's just a wonderful film, fair enough it's a bit later than your typical film noir but the performances are so gritty and realistic that you wouldn't have a clue. I loved it. More from Mr Fritz Lang, he's a genius.

'10' - 1979 **** 1/2

This was a hilarious film, and even more so because some of the scenes I found myself howling in laughter at weren't actually supposed to be funny!

The one that had me in tears of laughter involved Dudley Moore and a mouth full of Novocane trying to answer the phone to Julie Andrews who mistakes his incoherent mumbling as the sign of a madman and calls the police!

There were so many funny parts to this movie that the time just flew by and I was sad to see the end.

I also liked the premise of the film, owing to the number 10, the number which both men and women aspire to be, 10 being a perfect woman/man. Moore has just celebrated his 40th birthday and is having doubts about his life, so despite having a lovely, beautiful and intelligent girlfriend Sam (Julie Andrews) he becomes obsessed with a mystery woman whom he perceives as 'perfect.'

I won't spoil it for you, but suffice it to say, we find out that there is no such thing as a perfect person (although I think most level-headed, mature adults know that already)

Music by Henry Mancini, so you know that's going to be a hit too, and Bo Derek's first film!

Risky Business - 1983 **

So this is the film everyone rave about where Tom Cruise is dancing around his living room in his underwear?

I can't say I was altogether impressed with this movie. Cruise in his first feature role already seems to cocky and self-assured which seems to overshadow the fact that he's not actually a very good actor. He's too over the top for my liking. Too 'typical American boy' who thinks too much of himself.

After being left in charge of the house when his parents go away for the weekend, Cruise orders a prostitute for a laugh, not knowing that she has a seriously mixed up past which she ends up dragging Cruise headfirst into.

The only film I have ever really liked Cruise in was my old favourite 'Top Gun', but that was more because I loved the film as a whole. Here we have too much time to gaze on Cruise frolicking around around in his underpants and driving his parents' car like a total moron at 100 mph after he is confronted by the prostitute's pimp.

He comes across as too arrogant for us to be sympathetic to, but too needy for us to take him seriously as a young man. Just a very weird film.

She-Devil - 1989 **** 1/2

I found this on an old DVD and assumed I would be sitting down to watch a Hammer Horror movie, and so was slightly confused when I found myself in hysterics watching a dark comedy with Meryl Streep and Roseanne Barr. I have NEVER heard of this movie which is totally bizarre because I really enjoyed it and it has one hugely famous star in it!

In true revenge style, Barr is the frumpy and unattractive wife of a cocky and seemingly arrogant accountant. When she finds out that he has started an affair with the beautiful, famous and rich author Mary Fisher (Streep) she exacts revenge, in some rather interesting but totally unforgettable ways.

This is a funny film but it seems to have some underlying issues about fidelity and superficial lust which sadly crop up too often in everyday/celebrity life. Well worth a watch to have a chuckle!

The Crush - 1993 ****

I was really excited about watching this film. Mainly because I love movies about obsessive relationships/crushes/unrequited love etc. And I also think Cary Elwes is a pretty good actor.

I cannot quite believe that this was Alicia Silverstone's debut performance as she was excellent in her role, and I noticed many traits that would soon become her trademark moves in later films (i.e. her hair flipping, biting her lip).

She plays a 14 year old girl who becomes infatuated by Elwes when he moves into the house next door. At first he is flattered and sees her as a friend, but when her attentions begin to interfere with his work, home life and relationships he realises that she has a serious problem. But has he realised in time?

A very good eerie film with 2 very good performances (does anyone prefer Silverstone's brown hair to her blonde hair in 'Clueless'? I do) that demands to be watched.

(NOIR) Apology for Murder - 1945 ****

I adore film noir films. They are perfect for a cosy, rainy Saturday in front of the TV. I have seen a fair few, and many are left to watch, but I'm always worried that I'm going to run out of really spectacular ones, and therefore am getting more into B-Movie noirs as time goes by. Many people dismiss B-movies without giving them a chance and sometimes they are right to, but I must say, all the B-movies I have ever seen have not disappointed me and they give you a much bigger scope when it comes to experiencing new films. Added to which, they are usually a lot shorter than normal feature lengths, and you can therefore fit more in which is always a bonus for me.

Apology for Murder is relatively unknown, but Ann Savage, the main star (also starred in 'Detour') is excellent in her role as the greedy wife of a rich man who decides, with her willing lover, to bump him off and claim his cash. Very much along the same lines as 'Double Indemnity', but with a slightly easier story to follow, in many ways 'Apology for Murder' is actually superior to the other. Savage has wetted my appetite for more B-noirs, and I will be keeping my eye out for her other films.

Heathers - 1988 ***

A very nasty movie. One that doesn't really qualify as a 'school movie' because it's far too dark.

Winona Ryder attempts to fit in with the popular crowd at school known as the Heathers. Although popular, they are hated rather than adored and all secretly miserable. She wants to be a part of their group, but also hates them enough to kill them. Que Christian Slater who is an outsider with his own style and look. He hooks up with Veronica ( Ryder) and the two decide that they cannot allow the Heathers to continue their torment on the nerdy and timid members of the school, and so they hatch a plan to get rid of them, one by one.

It's quite a good idea for a story, and I for one can remember wishing the popular group at school would just disappear and stop having this weirdly invisible hold on everyone else.

Towards the end of the film however, it becomes almost like a psychotic thriller which is deeply unsettling. I got the distinct feeling that I shouldn't be watching a film like this because it made me feel strange, but I managed to hang on until the end.

(HORROR) The Deaths of Ian Stone - 2007 *

This was ridiculously bad. I am trying to watch all the AfterDark HorrorFest movies and so far have not enjoyed a single one of them.

A young man is murdered everyday, and everyday has to adjest to a new life as a group of totally unscary vampires in leather catsuits chase after him in an attempt to 'feed on him'.

A totally bizarre film ( isn't that woman the one from 'Hustle'?) that was more unsettling than scary. In fact it was just rubbish.

(HORROR) Whisper - 2007 *

Sort of a mixture of 'The Omen' and 'Esther', athough this movie failed to deliver on all accounts, including being well acted or having a good plot-line. the actor playing the young boy was so annoying I couldn't focus properly much on the other characters, but it seems to me that they were all equally uninteresting and not properly 'fleshed out'. Also just generally boring. I didn't like it.

(HORROR) Black Water - 2007 *

Of course I was drawn to this movie because of the 'based on true events' posted across the front of the DVD box. I still haven't been able to grasp that that rarely means any of the story is true, and still keep going back for more each time. Suffice it to say, I was disappointed with 'Black Water', as 3 people go fishing in a remote part of Northern Australia, and end up being almost held hostage by a giant crocodile who has already eaten their guide. The whole time I was watching this I was thinking 'why would you be so stupid to go off somewhere so remote in an area that is known for crocodiles?'. Any sympathy you have for these people sort of disappears quickly as the film progresses.

(NOIR) The Glass Key - 1942 ***

It's hard to follow this story, but whether you understand it or not it's still fun to watch the gorgeously sultry Veronica Lake in a movie simply made for her, as well as getting my first glimpse of Alan Ladd who is probably one of the best film-noir cool guys that there are, along of course with Bogart and Cagney.

Actually I found Brian Donlevy pretty funny as well, and typically classic in his style and personality. I love old films, and even if the story was somewhat questionable I can still enjoy watching these amazing people do what they do best. I'm very wary about reading anything more by Dashiell Hammett since my last experience with reading 'The Thin Man' and so may put off reading this novel.

(HORROR) Grace - 2009 **

Oh my god, what a dreadful evening for films, what with this and 'Mega Piranha' I may just give up watching films all together.. No I won't. But it makes me want to when I see this kind of tripe.

A woman miscarries and decides to go ahead and deliver the baby anyway. The baby comes back to life and all it seems to want to do is drink human blood (Yeah yeah).

To be honest I guess I chose this film to see because I was hoping for some gore so I shouldn't be moaning that it's as rubbish as I thought it probably would be.

Mega Piranha - 2010 **

I seem to be obsessed with forcing myself to watch awful movies. Especially 'creature features' which are NEVER as good as I think they are going to be. 'Mega Piranha' was pretty ghastly, with a load of people who looked like other people that had been extras in other bad movies, so it was great fun trying to pick those out. It was about the only thing I could do to not be bored senseless. No more, I will force myself if necessary to not watch anymore hideous 'films' like these (see how long that will last)

(HORROR) Dahmer - 2002 **

Based on the life of the serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer I was rather disappointed by this film. It claims to be a biopic but seems to seek to show us this cotton wool version of this man and the crimes he commited, almost trying to justify them because of his broken childhood. Many people come from broken homes without turning into a sadistic killer. I think too often crimes commited by people are justified because of their past, which rarely actually has much of an impact on their present situation. Dahmer's parents divorced, big deal, parents divorce all the time, some children grow up without a mother or a father, it has no baring on the mind-set of someone that would convince them to murder and dismember 17 other human beings. We can only assume that Dahmer is somehow mentally handicapped or insane. The person who plays Dahmer portrays him as this rather lost and timid man who just wants to be accepted because of his sexuality as though this somehow excuses his appalling crimes.

As one reviewer of the film pointed out, if Dahmer saw this he would roaring with laughter at how he is imagined by American cinema, for there was nothing timid or innocent about his cruel sadistic mind, which masterminded a very clever but very twisted individual.

(HORROR) Cropsey - 2009 ****

I was expecting to find this film pretty laughable, but came away feeling very unhinged and overly disturbed. What starts as a documentary about an Urban Legend turns into a sort of True Crime investigation into the disappearance of several mentally disabled children who go missing in Statton Island in the 1980s and the eventual arrest and trial of the lunatic named Andre Rand who is convicted of their brutal killings. We never know for a fact whether Rand is the actual killer or just singled out because of his weird and bizarre behaviour, (one theory is that he murdered children who had a disability in a way of cleansing the world of 'abnormal people', a bit like Jack the Ripper who was said to have killed prostitutes because he thought he was 'cleaning up the streets) but the film-makers do a good job of showing us plenty of footage from witnesses, relatives and people of interest who all paint a terrifying picture of this man.

I love documentaries about serial killers (I know, I know, that makes me sound mentally unhinged), but I did find myself thinking that I was watching two different programmes, one on an urban legend and another on a specific person who may or may not have been guilty of these heinous crimes. Take out the Urban Legend about 'Cropsey' and you would have a 5 star documentary.

Caramel - 2008 ****

A surprisingly riveting film, that merits more than one viewing. It centres around a group of friends who work in a Beauty Parlour in Beirut, and the trials an tribulations that they each have to go through in aspects of their lives and relationships. One is fixated on her affair with a married man, another is a shy lesbian who has feelings for one of her clients, another cannot bear to tell her husband-to-be that he won't be her first lover on their wedding night which could have her imprisoned.

Each story is interesting without going over the top with realistic acting.

Great to see into another world where religion and tradition are so completely alien to the way that Western society is.

(HORROR) Thir13en Ghosts - 2001 ***

Eerie I'll grant you that, but seriously, could this be anymore cliche and 'typical' of an American horror film? A family inherits a weird glass house from a rich, newly deceased relative and get caught up in a load of terrifying ghostly happenings. Too much noise, too much stupid conversation, and you already know what's going to happen... All the reasons to avoid this film.

A Tale of Two Cities - 1935 *****

Wow. I thought that Dirk Bogarde's portrayal of Sydney Carton was one of the best I had seen, but Ronald Colman just blew my mind. His timing, his expressions, his acting, his just general prescence as this character was overwhelming. I honestly don't think anyone could bring Charles' Dickens hero to light like this man.

Most people know the story of A.T.O.T.C. and those that don't should look it up on Wikipedia. I think that this is probably one of the best Dicken's stories that he wrote. Has anyone ever portrayed the French Revolution in equally positive and negative tones? I highly doubt it. It's so passionate and so full of anger and despair that it demands to be read and watched.

The last scene is heart-breaking, and if that doesn't tug at your heart-strings for those poor people then nothing will.

(HORROR) Invitation Only - 2009 **

Can't say I was blown away by this movie. The idea seemed a bit bizarre anyway and only the sort of thing you would imagine happening in a Japanese horror film.

A small group of people are invited to an elite and extravagant party for the rich and famous, only to find out that the party is simply a charade for the real, terrifying entertainment.

There are some very gory scenes here, so it would do to be a mega-gore horror fan, but really the film just seemed to follow the same structure that all other horror movies do. The gore, the nudity, more gore, a bit of girl-on girl action and that's sort of it. If you want to be surprised with a decent and original story then don't watch this ( it's like a rip off of Saw and Hostel) .

(HORROR) Zombies:Wicked Little Things - 2006 **

I'll be honest, the artwork for this DVD makes it look far eerier than it actually is.

The acting was pretty horrific (isn't this supposed to be directed by Tobe Hooper of Texas Chainsaw fame?)

and I was aghast to see that the mother of the 2 daughters looks about the same age as the older daughter. In fact she looks like their sister, and certainly acts like it.

There's the mandatory screaming but not moving, saying 'hello hello is anyone there' at times when it's better to be quiet, and totally reacting and hyperventilating over things that aren't scary at all, i.e. rats, trees, other human beings.

I liked the idea for the story (100 years ago a mine collapses on some children working down there and they come back undead etc), in fact, tell me that the basis of a story was set 100 years ago and you've pretty much sold it to me, but this wasn't convincing at all. I'm not sure whether watching the other 7 of the AfterDark Horrorfest films at the same time is the idea or whether something like this can ever be good as a standalone. I think I've seen one other from the list, which was about 10 million times better (The Abandoned) so I guess really it's best to judge each on it's individual merits/negatives.

Oh but one of the weird men does look a bit like an old Sean William-Scott on acid - pretty funny. You certainly need to laugh having to sit through this.